A Step-by-Step Overview of Divorce Mediation, Part 2: How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation

If you’re thinking about parting ways with your spouse, divorce mediation can offer numerous advantages over the traditional litigation process. For instance, it can allow you to part ways cost-effectively, peacefully, and amicably for the benefit of your children. However, it’s important to know how to prepare in advance so you and your spouse can get the most out of mediation. In Part 1 of this blog series, we discussed what you can expect during the mediation process for divorce — Part 2 explains the steps you can take to prepare for your mediation sessions.

Step 1: Know What Documentation to Bring with You to Mediation

Prior to your first mediation session, the mediator will probably give you a list of documents and information you should bring with you. They might also ask you to submit certain documents in advance for them to review. You will typically want to have the following information readily available when you go into the mediation session (it is not required, but may make your sessions more efficient):

• Court documents that have been filed, if any
• A list of marital and non-marital property
• A copy of any prenups or postnups that were signed
• Financial statements, credit card information, bank accounts, loan documentation
• A list of monthly expenses
• Tax returns
• Investment portfolios
• Pay stubs
• Mortgage information
• Your calendar to schedule any follow up sessions

For many couples, much of the mediation process will focus on finances and reaching a fair outcome concerning how marital property will be divided. Gather up-to-date figures about your income, assets, and debts, and have them on hand as soon as you know divorce is imminent. This can avoid wasting time later trying to find the information you will need in order for the mediator to assist you with reaching a fair agreement. Often you will have better access to this information before you separate and divorce is imminent. Similarly, if you have children, custody and support matters may be the focus of your case. You may need to bring information about their monthly expenses, schooling, health records, and other relevant documents so that the mediator can help you reach a resolution that is in your children’s best interests.

Step 2: Have a Clear Idea of the Issues You Want to Discuss in Mediation

One of the ways you can prepare for the divorce mediation process is to think about your goals and objectives in advance. It’s a good idea to know what your position is on each issue that must be decided in divorce and what you want to discuss. Every divorce is different — and mediation is specifically tailored to the matters in your case. However, you may want to be prepared to discuss property division, debt allocation, spousal support, child custody, and child support.

Step 3: Be Open to Compromise

One of the most important things you can bring to the mediation process for divorce is an open mind. Mediation takes compromise and cooperation between both parties to be successful. Consider what issues you are willing to compromise on and which are non-negotiable for you. Be willing to explore different avenues for resolving the issues that must be decided. Unlike litigation, the divorce mediation process is flexible and allows spouses to work together collaboratively to reach a solution that might not be available in the courtroom.

Step 4: Prepare Yourself Emotionally

Although the divorce mediation process is less stressful and emotionally draining than litigation, you will still need to prepare yourself emotionally. Regardless of how long you were married, divorce can bring many big changes that can feel like a lot to handle. It’s essential to get the emotional help you need while you’re going through this transition in your life. Consider joining a support group or talking with a therapist. You should also be sure to practice self-care and maintain a healthy routine to reduce the mental and physical toll of divorce.

Step 5: Establish Communication Guidelines with Your Spouse Prior to Mediation

Before going to mediation, it’s crucial to establish guidelines for communication with your soon-to-be ex-spouse — especially if your divorce is less than amicable. While the divorce mediation process can equip you with the tools you need to communicate in a healthy and effective manner, it’s still a good idea to set parameters and boundaries. Agree to communicate respectfully, whether it is directly with each other, through your attorneys, by email, or in the presence of the mediator. Remember, mediation is not just a conversation - it is in essence an important business meeting and it is always best to plan for this meeting, in advance.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Divorce Attorney

The mediation process for divorce can offer many advantages to couples who are parting ways. It allows you to find solutions that meet your family’s needs — and will satisfy the best interests of your children. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we provide dedicated counsel to guide you through the legal and emotional process of divorce, whether mediation, litigation, or another form of alternative dispute resolution is right for your case. Trained in mediation, collaborative divorce, and traditional divorce, we will work closely with you to achieve a solution that will accomplish your goals. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maryland divorce attorney, call us at (301) 658-7354 or contact us online.