Strategies to Minimize Conflict in Your Divorce

When a marriage is ending, emotions will usually run high. However, reducing the contentiousness in your case can save you time and money that would otherwise be spent on lengthy and drawn-out litigation. By implementing certain strategies in your case, you can help to keep the fighting at a minimum, remain amicable for the benefit of your children — and work towards a low conflict divorce.

Here are several strategies to keep in mind to minimize conflict in your divorce case:

1. Put Your Children’s Best Interests First

Regardless of how contentious your divorce is, always put the best interests of your children first and foremost. You should be sure to keep any arguing away from the children and never make disparaging remarks about your spouse to them. Negative comments will only escalate the conflict and make the divorce situation worse for the children. Children are emotionally damaged when they see their parents fight — it can also take a toll on their own self-esteem and overall emotional wellbeing for years to come.

2. Speak Respectfully

To keep conflict low in your divorce, it’s crucial for you and your spouse to agree to speak respectfully to each other. Even if you do not get along, approach your relationship in a business-like manner. Although it can sometimes be hard to avoid the triggers that lead to conflict, try to avoid criticisms, insults, and blame when communicating with your spouse. If necessary, set boundaries on your communications and limit discussions to email or text.

3. Know When to Take a Break

If you feel like you’re not getting anywhere when it comes to resolving the issues that need to be decided, it’s important to know when to take a break. Take some time to cool off and gather your thoughts to be sure you are able to keep your emotions in check. While it’s easy to get caught up in arguments with your spouse during a divorce, it’s essential to be able to monitor your own voice and body language — and know when to say “This isn’t a good time for us to discuss this. Let’s take a break and come back to this once we have had some time to cool down.”

4. Pick Your Battles Wisely

To have a low conflict divorce, it’s vital to pick your battles wisely. Focus on the issues that are most important to you and be willing to compromise on others. Remember, there is no “winning” in divorce. You and your spouse should be focused on trying to reach an agreement that works best for the entire family.

5. Practice Self-Care

The tension that comes with divorce can impact your emotional and physical health. You likely feel a wide range of emotions, and conflict can often increase if you do not manage your emotions appropriately. One of the most important things you can do to have a low conflict divorce is practice self-care. Take some time for yourself each day, whether it is to check out a museum, spend time with a pet, go to a spa, read a book, or do something else you enjoy. You should also be sure to get enough sleep each night, exercise, drink plenty of water, and eat healthy to balance your mood. This can help ensure you are able to mentally and physically cope with any divorce-related stress.

6. Consider Mediation or the Collaborative Process

Litigation isn’t the only way to end a marriage. Mediation and the collaborative process are two methods of alternative dispute resolution that can reduce conflict in your case and preserve your relationship with your spouse for the benefit of your children. With both processes, you and your spouse can stay out of the courtroom and remain in control over the outcome of your divorce, rather than let a judge who does not know you decide.

Mediation focuses on providing you with the tools you need for healthy communication and staying focused on finding tailored solutions. It uses a neutral third party called a mediator who will guide the sessions and assist the parties with reaching a compromise. Once a settlement is reached in mediation, it can be submitted to the judge to become a binding order.

In contrast, the collaborative process doesn’t involve a neutral third party. Rather, collaborative divorce uses a team of professionals who are assembled based on the issues in your case. With this process, the parties must be committed to being cooperative and low conflict, and the professionals are also committed to those goals. If the parties refuse to work together to obtain a resolution and litigation is necessary, the lawyers for each spouse would be required to withdraw from representation and the case would have to start again with new counsel.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Divorce Attorney

If you’re seeking a low conflict divorce, it’s essential to have an attorney by your side who is dedicated to helping you resolve the issues in your case peacefully and respectfully. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are dedicated to guiding you through the divorce process and protecting your rights every step of the way. Trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies, we will work closely with you to find solutions that works best in your situation. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (301) 658-7354 or contact us online.