There is more than one way to end a marriage in Maryland. While couples who wish to end their marriage will need to obtain an official judgment of divorce, it doesn’t mean all couples need to follow the same path to get there. In fact, some divorces can be resolved without ever stepping foot inside a courtroom. It’s important to understand the difference between collaborative divorce vs traditional divorce processes to help ensure you are best able to protect your interests and meet the needs of your family. 

How Does Collaborative Divorce Work?

Collaborative divorce is a form of alternative dispute resolution that some couples choose to use instead of traditional divorce litigation. Collaborative Law can also be applied to child custody and parenting time cases. In either situation, the collaborative practice model is meant to give you and your spouse more control over the pace and process of dissolving your marriage. 

When you opt to use the collaborative process, you will be working with a team of specially trained professionals who will assist you with resolving the financial, practical, and emotional issues that must be resolved before you can end your marriage. As a holistic model, collaborative divorce serves to remove much of the contention that typically occurs in a traditional divorce. It puts the focus on preparing you and your family for the next chapter — rather than dwelling on the faults and failures that brought your marriage to an end. 

What is the Collaborative Divorce Process?

A collaborative divorce starts with a commitment by both parties. You and your spouse will be required to sign an agreement that you will work to resolve any disputes through negotiation and problem solving within the collaborative process and out-of-court. Although the process is non-adversarial, you and your spouse must hire your own collaborative divorce attorneys to represent and advise you throughout the process. 

As part of the collaborative agreement, the collaborative divorce lawyers promise that if you or your spouse files a motion or other document in the Maryland family court (other than a joint motion to adopt the final settlement agreement and enter a Judgment of Absolute Divorce), they will both withdraw from the case. In this event, you and your spouse would need to hire new lawyers to represent you during the traditional divorce litigation process. 

Even though you and your spouse are represented by your own attorneys in the collaborative process, most of the work is done between yourselves with the help of the collaborative team they have assembled. A collaborative divorce team can include the following: 

Collaborative divorce vs. traditional divorce procedures depend on the specific needs in each case, and how well the tools available in each process can address them. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Maryland divorce lawyers can help you select the best process, and we stand by you throughout that process.

• Collaborative divorce lawyers — During the collaborative divorce process, attorneys do not take on the adversarial role that they would in litigation. Rather, they educate the spouses about their legal rights, identify the issues that must be resolved, help to work through settlement negotiations, and draft an agreement when it is reached.
• Divorce coach — A divorce coach assists with facilitating the collaborative process and keeps everyone on track.
• Therapist — A therapist can help you and your spouse process the emotions that arise during the course of the collaborative divorce process. 
• Accountants and financial planners — Financial specialists such as accountants and financial planners can advise regarding the potential tax implications in your divorce and how proposed solutions satisfy your financial objectives.
• Appraisers and realtors — When you bring appraisers and realtors onto a collaborative divorce team, they can help place values on real property and business assets. They can also facilitate any sales that need to be made.
• Child specialists, parenting coaches, and co-parenting therapists —  When child custody is an issue, it may be helpful to bring in a child specialist, parenting coach, or co-parenting therapist.  These specialists can help you and your spouse develop the skills needed to effectively co-parent and resolve disputes related to the care of your children.
• Other professionals — Every divorce is different. You and your spouse may agree to include a variety of other professionals on your collaborative divorce team who will provide insight about your case and help you reach an amicable resolution.

All the professionals on a collaborative divorce team work with one goal in mind: to help you and your spouse create a settlement that will work for your family. As a result, collaborative divorce often teaches spouses about goal setting, healthy communication, and effective problem solving. Not only can collaborative divorce help you to resolve your divorce, but it provides you with the tools you need to resolve the conflicts that can arise from time to time once your divorce has been finalized. 

The beauty of the collaborative divorce process is that it is flexible enough to adapt to your specific needs. It allows you and your spouse to set the pace and to focus on the issues that matter most to your family. It also allows for more creative solutions, while ensuring you are in control of the process and the results that are reached. 

What to Expect in a Maryland Traditional Divorce Litigation

In contrast with collaborative divorce, traditional divorce litigation in Maryland is a relatively rigid process. It follows a number of procedural rules and moves a case along in accordance with the court’s timeline. If you and your spouse cannot agree on the issues that must be decided, divorce litigation can be lengthy and costly.  

When considering whether you should file a traditional Complaint for Divorce in court or pursue the collaborative process, it’s important to know the basics about what you can expect in litigation. The following outlines what you should expect during the course of a litigated divorce: 

• Your case is filed in Maryland Family Court
• Motions are heard by a family court judge
• Information is exchanged and questions are asked during a process called discovery
• Periodic status hearings are scheduled to ensure the case stays on track 
• Efforts are made during litigation to negotiate a settlement informally between the spouses’ attorneys or through court-ordered mediation
• If settlement efforts fail, a formal divorce trial will be required 
• The judge makes a final decision on all outstanding issues during trial
• An Absolute Judgment of Divorce is issued that dissolves your marriage, determines issues related to children and support, and divides your marital property

The traditional divorce litigation process is adjusted based on the needs of each case. For instance, not every case will require multiple pre-trial motions or extensive discovery. You may also independently or jointly hire experts to evaluate things like property values or child custody claims. But while a report may be written in connection with these matters, they are purely informational. Ultimately, it is the judge who is responsible for resolving disputes and entering a final judgment. 

The rigidity of litigation isn’t always a bad thing. The structure of a Maryland divorce can provide certain guardrails to prevent one spouse from delaying the process unnecessarily or taking advantage of the other. Additionally, divorce litigation can provide legitimacy to parties’ demands for information and give you the tools you need to develop and prove your case — especially if it is particularly contentious. 

Collaborative Divorce vs Traditional Divorce: A Comparative Analysis

There is no clear answer as to whether collaborative divorce vs traditional divorce litigation is a “better” way to end a marriage. Each divorce process has benefits and drawbacks that should be carefully considered. A thoughtful comparative analysis of how each process aligns with your objectives and the needs of your family will determine whether the collaborative or traditional process is best suited for your case. 

Here are some things to consider when deciding which divorce method is best for your situation: 

Reducing Conflict Between Spouses

A high-conflict divorce can cause a significant amount of emotional harm — especially when children are involved in the process. Critically, traditional divorce litigation is adversarial and pits one spouse against the other. In some cases, litigation can actually escalate the conflict in a divorce, making it even harder to resolve the case out of court. 

One of the primary goals of the collaborative process is to reduce the contention in divorce. It focuses on helping you and your spouse develop problem solving skills that empower you to find your own solutions to the issues that arise, rather than relying on the courts to tell you what is best for your family. If minimizing conflict is a priority, collaborative divorce may be the better strategy. 

Resolving Complicated Legal Issues

The world is changing faster than the law can keep up with it. Every day, Maryland family court judges are asked to make rulings on new issues that have not been previously determined. This can include rendering decisions on complex matters such as the division of cryptocurrency assets to custody issues surrounding surrogacy and artificial insemination. 

When a case depends on a new interpretation of the law, it can create a challenging debate between collaborative divorce and traditional divorce litigation. On the one hand, collaborative divorce allows you and your spouse to reach an agreement on novel resolutions outside what the courts would usually decide. On the other hand, traditional litigation may be necessary to receive an order that professionals, and even other court systems, will respect in the future. It is essential to thoroughly discuss the legal issues in your case with an attorney before selecting a divorce process. The outcome may affect your rights — and in some cases, it may set a precedent for other families seeking divorce in the future. 

Uncovering the Truth Regarding Hidden Assets

Unfortunately, secrecy is often one of the symptoms of an unhealthy marriage. Lies, cheating, and hidden assets are sometimes the signs that show spouses it is time to separate and pursue divorce. However, when that secrecy involves your property, it can create a problem affecting the divorce process itself. Collaborative divorce largely depends on transparency and honest communication. The spouses must agree to freely exchange financial and personal information, and to make that information available to the professionals who advise them. If a spouse has a history of hiding assets, this can adversely impact the collaborative law process and make it very difficult to reach a resolution. 

When a spouse is concealing assets, traditional divorce litigation can offer a more efficient solution. Under Maryland law, a spouse can issue subpoenas to obtain the necessary information concerning a spouse’s finances directly from the banks, financial advisors, and other institutions. The law also provides penalties for spouses who conceal assets and refuse to comply with mandatory discovery. These tools can be crucial to expose the secrets that may have led to the divorce in the first place and help ensure a fair and equitable result. 

Troubleshooting Issues

You know the intricacies of what it takes to get your family through each day. Often, this requires a careful, detail-oriented approach to divorce that the Maryland divorce courts don’t have time on their docket to fully address. As a result, spouses who use traditional divorce litigation often find that both are dissatisfied with the details of the Absolute Judgment of Divorce — particularly when it comes to parenting plans. For example, you and your spouse may find yourselves ordered to comply with a parenting exchange schedule that is unrealistic in light of distance, traffic, work, and school schedules. Or, you may be ordered to pay an amount to resolve a property division matter that there simply isn’t financing for. 

It is critical to be aware that collaborative divorce offers a higher degree of flexibility and control that can result in a resolution that works for you and your family. Because you and your spouse must come up with the terms of your own settlement agreement, you can account for their children’s special needs or an unusual work schedule more easily than the courts can. It is often more beneficial for you and your spouse to fully negotiate a settlement agreement, rather than allow a judge who does not know you to decide a court-ordered parenting plan or property distribution matter.   

Protecting a Vulnerable Spouse

It is vital to acknowledge that negotiations only work in divorce if both parties have approximately the same bargaining power. In some families, this might not be the case. Where one spouse is in a vulnerable position because of a history of abuse, narcissism, or dependence on the other party, lengthy negotiations can sometimes perpetuate an unhealthy dynamic and make it harder to move on. That is why collaborative divorce is not well suited to cases involving domestic violence or an unequal power dynamic. 

However, the Maryland divorce courts address such tough issues every day. Maryland family court judges have tools available, such as protective orders, that can shield spouses and children from ongoing abuse. A judge also has the ability to account for a spouse’s fault or history of bad behavior when issuing a judgment. 

Providing an Emotional Resolution 

Divorce can be emotionally overwhelming, no matter what process is used. However, the emotional outcome is usually very different when it comes to collaborative divorce vs traditional divorce. This is because collaborative divorce accounts for the parties’ emotional resolution as part of what it takes to make a divorce successful. By using the collaborative process, you can work with therapists and coaches who help you work through your feelings. This way, by the time the final settlement is reached, you and your spouse will likely have processed your anger, shame, and grief — and you can truly be ready to move forward with a new chapter of your life.

In contrast, the adversarial nature of traditional divorce litigation can sometimes cause parties to become angrier and more hostile as the case progresses. Without a mechanism to protect your mental and emotional health, traditional divorce litigation can result in anger, resentment, and blame festering, or even escalating, over time. Those who choose the traditional litigation approach are encouraged to seek their own emotional support and resolution outside the courtroom. Still, unless you and your spouse make a commitment to do so, you may find an Absolute Judgment of Divorce does little to address your emotional needs. 

Future-Proofing Your Settlement Agreement

Spouses who depend on the traditional divorce process to resolve their custody, support, and property disputes might see filing motions in court as the only way to resolve any conflict. When the parties to a divorce are dependent on the court system, they can also file dozens of post-judgment motions to enforce or modify their custody, parenting time, child support and alimony orders. This can make a divorce judgment feel anything but absolute. 

Under the collaborative practice model, you and your spouse are taught how to troubleshoot the issues that can arise during the divorce process — and after. You are encouraged to proactively consider how you will address issues like one parent moving away, or what will happen if you can’t sell the marital home for as much as you had expected. By empowering the spouses (rather than the courts) to be the final decision makers, a collaborative divorce can avoid ongoing disputes and future-proof your settlement to make sure it is truly final.

Get Help Choosing Between Collaborative Divorce and Traditional Divorce

Choosing between collaborative divorce vs traditional divorce procedures can depend on the specific needs in each case, and how well the tools available in each process can address them. There is no one better divorce process — only the one that is best equipped to resolve the case at hand. 

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies. We are committed to helping you select the best process for your divorce and will walk with you every step of the way. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

We Are Getting Engaged! Should We Sign a Prenup?

The holiday season can lead to wedding bells for a lot of Maryland couples. Christmas, New Year, and Valentine’s Day are some of the most popular times of year for couples to get engaged. If your fiance “popped the question” or you have decided to take your relationship to the next level, you may have questions about how this can affect your financial future, including the question -should we sign a prenup?

What is a Prenup?

“Prenup” is short for prenuptial agreement (also called a premarital agreement or antenuptial agreement). It is a contract entered into by an engaged couple “in consideration of” their future marriage. The terms of a prenup can:

• Lay out a plan for family finances, including household assets and liabilities during the marriage
• Resolve issues of alimony and property division in the event of divorce
• Guide estate planning and administration of either spouse’s affairs after their death

Most often, a prenup will describe the assets and liabilities each spouse will bring to the marriage, and determine whether those assets will be considered marital or separate property going forward. Marital property can be divided by the courts during divorce, and often passes to the surviving spouse upon death. Separate property is held individually, and will generally be excluded from any property division as a result of divorce. Separate property, as determined by a prenup, can also be left to children or other beneficiaries free of any claim from a surviving spouse.

Is a Prenup Necessary?

The romantic rush following a marriage proposal doesn’t easily lend itself to legal questions and property discussions, which can often feel like “divorce planning.” Many couples get married without giving any consideration to whether or not they should sign a prenup. If you and your partner are young adults without many assets, that may be appropriate, since it is likely that your wealth accumulation will be a result of shared effort during the marriage. However, there are several reasons why a prenup can serve as a useful financial planning tool, including to:

Prenups can be a tool to build better relationships now and an opportunity to protect your interests and those of your children now and in the future. We can help you negotiate the terms of your prenuptial agreement and go through all the appropriate steps to make sure that the contract will be honored in the future. Contact us to schedule a consultation.

• Shield assets owned individually, prior to the marriage
• Protect shares in a closely-held business or family trust
• Provide for children from prior relationships
• Guide future estate planning
• Opt out of certain Maryland divorce and intestate succession laws that would otherwise apply by default upon marriage

The more complicated your family history or financial portfolio is at the time of your marriage, the more likely it is that both you and your spouse would benefit from entering into a prenuptial agreement and having the planning discussions that entering into such an agreement entails - before you walk down the aisle.

Who Should Sign a Prenuptial Agreement?

Many people don’t like the idea of entering into a prenup, because they think it will increase the likelihood of divorce and also sends a message to their future partner that they don’t want to work together as a financial unit in the future. Obviously, a long and happy marriage is always the goal. The process of creating a prenuptial agreement and the open and honest financial disclosures that the negotiation of a prenuptial agreement will require, can actually establish a helpful pattern of open financial communication early in your relationship. To prepare and sign a prenup is not a divorce backup plan, instead it is a planning tool that will require you to make affirmative decisions to share assets and wealth that is accumulated in the future. If you want to share, a creative prenuptial agreement can describe the exact way that finances (assets and debts) will occur during your marriage and in the event of death or divorce. In the absence of a prenuptial agreement, there is uncertainty as to sharing and default state laws will apply.

A lot of people assume that prenuptial agreements are only beneficial for wealthy people with considerable assets. It’s true that high-net-worth couples have more assets to protect and may get more benefit from a carefully negotiated premarital agreement. However, many couples can benefit and you may have much more in the future than you have now, including:

• Parents of children from prior relationships
• Future homemakers and stay-at-home parents giving up careers to support a family
• Business owners whose partnership agreements contain forced buy-back provisions
• People with difficult family histories or estranged relatives
• Individuals who want to reduce conflict and keep control over their assets during the marriage, but also in the event of death or divorce

If you or your spouse fit into any of these categories, it’s a good idea to talk to a Maryland family law attorney now to see if you could benefit from signing a prenuptial agreement.

What to Know Before You Sign a Prenup

One thing most people don’t realize about premarital agreements is that there must be certain advance asset disclosures and the creation of a thoughtful, future looking financial planning document takes time. There are many stories of last-minute prenups signed on the church steps in the hours before the wedding. This is not the way to go. If a person does not have time to consider and negotiate the terms of a prenuptial agreement, that lack of time could serve as a basis to challenge the validity of the agreement once signed.

In Maryland, in order for a premarital agreement to be enforceable, it must avoid “overreaching” and can not be unfair or inequitable in either its terms or how the contract was signed. Both parties must sign the document “freely and understandingly.” The best way to ensure your prenup will be honored is to:

• Have frank discussions with your fiance about financial expectations and the reasons why a prenup can serve this purpose (these conversations can be had with the help of a marital counselor or religious leader)
• Hire separate attorneys to represent each party, explain their rights under Maryland divorce and estate law, and negotiate the terms of the agreement
• Disclose and document the estimated value of each party’s real, personal, and business property, earnings, and pre-marital debts
• Make sure the benefit either party receives from the Agreement is reasonable consideration for the rights each party is waiving
• Account for the unexpected, including either spouse’s future inability to work
• Make additional information about assets available when asked
• Provide the document to your fiance and their attorney as far in advance of the wedding as possible, so there is time for negotiations and revisions (months, not weeks)
• Consider your agreement to be a “living” document and active financial planning tool for your marriage. Don’t put it in the filing cabinet and forget about it.

It can, and often should, take multiple drafts of a prenuptial agreement to make sure everything is covered, all the appropriate information has been disclosed, and both spouses’ interests are honored. If you are wondering if you are a good candidate for a prenup, you should speak with a Maryland family law attorney soon after you are engaged to gather information and start the process - long before the other stressors of wedding planning might otherwise interfere.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our family law attorneys want to help you decide whether you should sign a prenup, and ensure your interests are protected if you do. We treat prenuptial agreements as a tool to build better relationships now and an opportunity to protect our clients’ interests and those of their children now and in the future. We can help you negotiate the terms of your prenuptial agreement and go through all the appropriate steps to make sure that the contract will be honored in the future. If you are getting married, or have received a draft prenuptial agreement from your fiance, call (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

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