Blogs from 2020

For many Maryland couples, especially those without children, who gets the family home is one of the biggest questions during a divorce. A house can be one of the family’s most valuable assets, and the mortgage on that house one of the largest debts. That means figuring out what happens to the house in a divorce can be complicated and emotional.

Do I Have to Sell My House in a Divorce?

The short answer is that you do not have to sell the house in a divorce, but it may sometimes be the best choice. While many judges do order homes sold to wrap up any financial loose ends, there are other options. What works best for you depends on when the home was purchased, by whom, and how it was financed.

When is a Home Considered the Separate Property of One Spouse

The Maryland Marital Property Act requires family court judges to equitably divide a couple’s “marital property.” That includes nearly everything either party acquired during the marriage (with the exception of gifts and inheritances). Generally, your marital home will be part of the marital property to be divided in your divorce. However, a home may be considered one spouse’s “separate property” if:

• One spouse owned the home prior to the marriage
• You avoided using marital funds to pay for the mortgage, repairs, or improvements

In other words, the home had not been “comingled” with marital property. Separate property is generally awarded to the party who owns it, so a determination that a home is the separate property of one spouse could be the end of your interest in that property. However, Maryland courts weigh several factors in determining whether the property was comingled, so even if only one spouse’s name is on the title, you should speak to an experienced Maryland divorce attorney to figure out what happens to the house in a divorce.

What are the Court’s Options in Dividing a Home that is Marital Property?

Assuming your home is marital property, your Maryland family law judge has three options in trail when deciding what happens to the house in a divorce:

1. Sell the Home: The court can order you and your spouse to list the home for sale, pay off the mortgage and any home equity loans, and then divide whatever is left as part of the equitable division of marital property.
2. Transfer the Title: The court may order that title to jointly owned property be transferred to one spouse or the other. Most often, this will be the same party responsible for refinancing the property to remove the other spouse’s name and paying off the mortgage.
3. Use and Possession: If you have children living in the marital home, the court may award the custodial parent use and possession of the family home for up to three years after the divorce is final. At the end of the use and possession period, the ownership will revert to whoever’s name is on the title unless the Absolute Judgment of Divorce says otherwise.

Can I Afford to Keep the House?

Remember that because of the way Maryland deals with debt, if you get the house in a divorce, you will most likely be required to refinance the property to remove your spouse’s name from the loan and also be responsible for paying the mortgage.

Before asking the court to award you the home as part of your share of the marital property, you should have a serious talk with both your attorney and a financial planner or banker to determine if you can afford to keep the house. Remember that because of the way Maryland deals with debt, if you get the house in a divorce, you will most likely be required to refinance the property to remove your spouse’s name from the loan and also be responsible for paying the mortgage. Make sure you are eligible to refinance at a rate you can afford and can realistically expect to pay all the household expenses based on your post-divorce income, child support, and alimony payments.

How Do I Buy Out a House from a Spouse?

When one spouse is awarded the house, the other spouse is usually entitled to a share of the equity in the divorce settlement. This is often casually called a divorce house buyout. Legally speaking, if your home is a marital asset, and the mortgage is a marital debt (with both spouses’ names on it), you aren’t so technically selling the property to your spouse. Instead, you are putting the home’s net fair market value on your side of the equity equation. You will then have to balance that out with assets on your spouse’s side of the equation.

How to Determine Equity in a Home for Divorce

Equitable doesn’t automatically mean equal, and a divorce is not a math equation. However, equally dividing the equity in a home is a good place to start in balancing both parties’ interests. Most often, this is done by giving your spouse an interest in the property equal to one half the net equity in the home. This amount is calculated as one half of the fair market value of the home minus the outstanding balance of the mortgage, home equity loan, and any other debt attached to the home.

How a Divorce House Buyout is Paid

Often, once the other party’s equitable portion is calculated, the party receiving the home will refinance the property at an amount high enough to pay the other party their equitable portion soon after the divorce is finalized. However, that doesn’t have to be where the money comes from. You can also offset a party’s equity using investment funds, bank accounts, or by taking on more of the joint marital debts. If you will be the one keeping the house, you should talk to your attorney and a banker about your options to create a plan for paying off your spouse’s equitable share.

There can be a lot of emotions wrapped up in a home. However, when deciding what happens to the house in a divorce, your focus should be on the practical aspects, not just how you feel about the property. By proactively considering how you would buy out your spouse’s interest and pay for future household expenses, you can avoid many more hurt feelings after the divorce is final.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce lawyers understand the legal and emotional costs of deciding whether to keep or sell a family home. We can help you weigh your options and can advocate for you once the decision is made and the divorce complaint is filed. If you need help with your divorce, contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation with an attorney.

A lot can happen in a year. If you signed a separation agreement in Maryland but then something changes what seems fair, you may be looking for a way to change your agreement. Depending on what you want to adjust and what has changed in the interim, changing your agreement may be simple or it might be impossible.

What is a Divorce Separation Agreement?

When you or your spouse move out of the marital home and start planning for divorce, you may start by negotiating a separation agreement. Every decision you make about dividing furniture, or when you will see your children takes you another step toward resolving issues related to dissolving your marriage.

However, while it may seem easy to begin the negotiation of your separation agreement, finishing the negotiation is often very difficult. There may be disputed issues that both spouses feel strongly about. You may need to work with an experienced divorce attorney or mediator to work through those issues in order to reach a separation agreement you both feel comfortable with.

Ultimately, a marital separation agreement is the contract that controls how you and your spouse will divide one household into two, and how you will live apart. When you have a written separation agreement in Maryland, signed by both parties it will generally cover:

• Child custody, visitation, and support
• Any ongoing support contributions between the parties, for example: alimony or contribution towards the mortgage
• Division of marital debts like the mortgage or joint credit cards
• Health insurance for both spouses and the children
• Division of marital property

A marital separation agreement does not end your marriage. Only a judge can do that.

A marital separation agreement does not end your marriage. Only a judge can do that. But an agreement does outline what life can look like while you are separated and waiting for your judgment of divorce to be entered.

Out-of-Court Options for Changing Separation Agreements

Sometimes, people change their minds after a separation agreement is signed. You may not have understood the language or the practical effects of the language in your agreement. Maybe the way the agreement was written has unintended effects. Perhaps you felt pressured to say “yes” and regret the decision now that it is done.

Other times, life changes and what worked when you negotiated a separation agreement doesn’t work in your new circumstances. A new job may make a visitation schedule impractical or require one spouse to move out of state. Unexpected unemployment could make child support payments difficult or even impossible. Changes to the real estate market could mean plans to sell your marital home no longer make sense.

When life happens, you may find yourself wondering, can a divorce agreement be changed? The answer depends on what part of your agreement needs to change, and whether both parties can agree to the change.

You and your spouse can make changes to your separation agreement in Maryland as long as you both agree to do so; you sign a new Agreement that memorializes the new terms, and then submit the new Agreement to the court. However, negotiating changes to a separation agreement can often be more difficult and emotionally charged than resolving the issues the first time. In negotiation, you and your divorce attorney should be prepared to make a strong argument as to why the change is necessary; to explain how the change might be mutually beneficial; and to consider opportunities for compromise that will entice your partner to return to the negotiation table.

Will the Court Modify a Separation Agreement in Maryland?

A separation agreement is a contract, and the courts will treat it like one. That means generally you can’t ask the court to modify a divorce agreement just because you changed your mind after the fact. However, the court will modify a separation agreement in Maryland as it relates to certain important issues.

Modifying Child Custody, Child Support, or Parenting Time Plans

Material change is a high-hurdle and a question that requires case by case assessment.

Legal Custody (decision-making), Physical Custody (parenting time) and Child Support, are always subject to modification based upon a showing of material change in circumstances, when the modification is in the best interest of a child. Maryland family law gives judges the authority to modify child custody, child support, and parenting time within a separation agreement. If there has been a material change in circumstances since you entered into the separation agreement, you can ask the court to modify the parts of that agreement that relate to your children. What constitutes a material change in circumstances? Material change is a high-hurdle and a question that requires case by case assessment. If you think there may have been a material change of circumstances in your case, it is best to speak with an experienced Maryland divorce attorney that can evaluate the facts of your case and render an opinion as to whether or not a material change has occurred.

Modifying Spousal Support Awards

Awards of spousal support or alimony are also modifiable, in some cases. The court is allowed to adjust the amount or duration of spousal support paid by one party in support of the other unless separation agreement:

• Expressly waives alimony or spousal support
• Specifically says its alimony or spousal support terms are not subject to modification

You and your divorce lawyer should carefully review the language of your separation agreement before filing a petition to modify your divorce agreement to ensure you didn’t give away your right to request a modification.

Modifying Property Settlement Agreements

Unfortunately, many people want to change the terms of their separation agreements when they no longer think the terms of the property settlement are fair. However, modifying a divorce or separation agreement after it is signed to change the terms of property division is difficult and often impossible. Whether or not you are able to change the terms of your agreement often depends on whether or not there is a valid contract in the first place. Assessing the validity of a contract requires you to evaluate specific circumstances that are outlined under Maryland contract law.

Assuming your separation agreement was valid when you signed it, a judge may modify your Agreement (which is a contract) if the contract was signed as a result of duress (must be extreme), fraud, mutual mistake, or other inequitable conduct.

Assuming your separation agreement was valid when you signed it, a judge may modify your Agreement (which is a contract) if the contract was signed as a result of duress (must be extreme), fraud, mutual mistake, or other inequitable conduct.

The chances of proving these requirements are slim, but under certain specific circumstances it is possible. Even when the shares of property awards heavily favor one party, the court could say you made a bad deal, but you must have had a good reason to do so. In most cases, the law will not protect you from giving away too much or getting too little and you will be stuck with what you signed, and unable to modify your divorce agreement.

How to Avoid Buyer’s Remorse in Signing a Separation Agreement

To avoid getting the short end of a separation agreement, it is important that both parties have an attorney review the agreement before it is signed. By meeting with a Maryland family lawyer first, you can better understand what you are entitled to under Maryland law, what you are getting under the separation agreement, and how that agreement will likely play out. Reviewing a separation agreement with an independent lawyer ahead of time can help you avoid buyer’s remorse, and keep you from scrambling to find a way to modify or invalidate it after the fact. While it is difficult to negotiate an agreement, it is much easier than trying to modify an agreement after the fact.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys understand the importance of negotiating a fair separation agreement the first time. We will negotiate with your spouse or your spouse’s attorney to save you time, frustration, and possibly money later on. We also know when and how you can modify the custody and child support terms of a divorce agreement for your children’s benefit and will help you find a solution that works for you and your family. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

Financial troubles are one of the top causes of divorce and marital discord. When debts outweigh assets and your monthly payments eat up most of your income, you and your spouse may need to resort to a bankruptcy to resolve your debts, even as you consider using divorce to dissolve your marriage. Understanding how bankruptcy may affect your divorce, and vice versa is important to making the right decisions, in the right order.

Shelly Ingram is a family law attorney, not a bankruptcy lawyer. If you are considering bankruptcy, it is important to speak to someone with experience in bankruptcy law about the effect your divorce may have on those proceedings.

Filing for Divorce and Bankruptcy at the Same Time Causes Problems

If financial problems have driven you into two lawyers’ offices, you may want to resolve the divorce and bankruptcy at the same time and just get it all out of the way at once. Unfortunately, federal bankruptcy laws may make that difficult. Every bankruptcy petition filed triggers an “automatic stay”. That puts a hold on any attempts to collect on your debts, which is often a relief. However, it may also prevent your Maryland divorce from resolving.

Unlike in other states, Maryland family law judges will not reassign debts from one spouse to another. Because those debts are not “at issue” in the divorce, the legal proceedings in your case can continue even while the automatic stay is in place. However, practically speaking, a pending bankruptcy action may prevent either spouse from refinancing property, assigning bank accounts, or taking other steps to divide the family’s assets. Even if you can get divorced while your bankruptcy is pending, you may not be able to do what it takes to put your judgment of absolute divorce into effect until the discharge order has been entered.

What Happens If You File for Joint Bankruptcy Before Divorce?

In many cases, the better option is to complete a joint bankruptcy first, before filing for divorce. By cooperating with one another through the bankruptcy process you can share the cost of the bankruptcy attorney and reduce the bankruptcy court fees. Depending on your circumstances, you may even be able to protect more of your property through bankruptcy exemptions as a married couple than as two single individuals. However, those details are best discussed with your bankruptcy attorney before filing either case.

Filing for joint bankruptcy before divorce can also simplify your divorce process. Because most of the family’s debts will be resolved or discharged in the bankruptcy, it may be easier to negotiate a settlement on the property issues in your divorce.

When It Makes Sense to File for Divorce First

The type of bankruptcy you choose could also affect the order of the cases. While a Chapter 7 bankruptcy is resolved quickly (usually in a matter of months), a Chapter 13 bankruptcy payment plan extends for 3 to 5 years.

The type of bankruptcy you choose could also affect the order of the cases. While a Chapter 7 bankruptcy is resolved quickly (usually in a matter of months), a Chapter 13 bankruptcy payment plan extends for 3 to 5 years. During that time, the petitioners agree not to take on any new debt without court consent. That may include hiring a divorce lawyer or taking out a new mortgage to buy out your spouse’s equity in the marital home. Also, having a bankruptcy on your credit history can affect your ability to obtain financing. If you believe you will need to refinance as part of your divorce settlement, or if you are worried about staying married while the bankruptcy is pending it may be better to wait to file until after the divorce is finished.

What Happens if One Spouse Declares Bankruptcy After Divorce?

If bankruptcy is in either spouse’s future it is important to know that when you are negotiating the terms of your divorce. Under Maryland law, the name on the debt agreement (mortgage, credit card application, or car loan) is the key to who will be responsible for the debt after the divorce. Even if a credit card was used for day-to-day family expenses, if it is only in one spouse’s name, that spouse will need to pay off the balance or get the debt discharged in bankruptcy.

However, where there are joint debts (where both spouses’ names appear on the debt agreement), your absolute judgment of divorce will need to be very clear about what will happen to those debts. If one spouse declares bankruptcy after divorce and discharges his or her liability on those debts, the creditors may try to collect the balance from the other spouse. Unless your absolute judgment of divorce includes protections against this, you may end up paying more than your fair share of the debt.

It may sound backwards, but if one spouse is planning on declaring bankruptcy, it may make sense for that spouse to assume as much of the debt as possible, so that it can be discharged by the bankruptcy court. However, once again, that strategy should be openly discussed with an experienced bankruptcy attorney before any judgment is entered to avoid unintended consequences.

Will Bankruptcy Affect Your Child Support?

No matter when the bankruptcy is filed, it will not affect your child support -- either the monthly payments or the accumulated debt for past missed payments. Child support is nondischargeable in bankruptcy, so the paying parent can’t avoid supporting his or her children just by filing for bankruptcy. Also, family support obligations are given top priority in the bankruptcy process. So the receiving parent will continue to receive support, even while other creditors get less than their full payments.

When money trouble is pushing you closer to divorce and bankruptcy, you need a lawyer who understands how the two will interact. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce lawyers will work with you and your bankruptcy attorney to plan the best approach for your family. If creditors come calling after the divorce is final, we can help you enforce your judgment to make sure you don’t pay more than your equitable share. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

You may have heard of a thing called collaborative divorce that’s designed to take the conflict out of ending your marriage. But is a collaborative divorce the best option for your family law case? Or could you be better served by formal litigation or mediation?

What is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative divorce is an alternative to the traditional adversarial family law process. It is designed to give you and your family tools to resolve your marriage as peacefully as possible. Collaborative focuses on teaching both spouses dispute resolution and communication strategies so that they can resolve problems and keep their case out of court now, and in the future should complications arise.

Unlike in a traditional divorce litigation, spouses in collaborative divorce aren’t working against each other to get their way in the Maryland divorce court. Instead, spouses work together with a collaborative divorce team to identify priorities and solutions to dissolve their marriage.

The Collaborative Process in Maryland

Like all legal cases, a collaborative divorce typically starts by meeting with a lawyer. Unlike a traditional adversarial approach, in the collaborative process both you and your spouse will frequently meet with your lawyers together. For the collaborative process to work, both spouses need to be committed to doing the work needed to avoid formal divorce proceedings and keep things out of court. If either spouse insists on their “day in court”, or if there are unhealthy power dynamics between the parties (like in cases of domestic violence), the collaborative process will not work.

Choosing a Collaborative Divorce Lawyer

It is best to work with an experienced collaborative lawyer than can appropriately screen your case from the onset so that you don’t run the risk of starting over with new counsel if collaboration is unsuccessful.

Next, each spouse must hire his or her own attorney. Your collaborative lawyer will guide you through the process and advocate on your behalf at the negotiation table. It is important that the person you hire is a certified collaborative divorce attorney, well versed in a variety of alternative dispute processes and collaboratively trained. It is best to work with an experienced collaborative lawyer than can appropriately screen your case from the onset so that you don’t run the risk of starting over with new counsel if collaboration is unsuccessful. If collaboration fails, you will need to hire a different lawyer to take your divorce litigation case to court.

Identifying Issues and Priorities

Once the lawyers are on board, your lawyer will work with you to identify your top priorities and concerns, and together the collaborative team will lay out any issues that need to be resolved before a final settlement can be reached. Your collaborative divorce attorney will help you consider options and strategies, and distinguish between your priorities and your preferences.

Assembling a Collaborative Divorce Team

Unlike traditional litigation, collaborative divorce is a team effort. There may be experts and advisors that the couple agrees will help smooth the way to resolution, and others that one spouse or the other needs to work with individually before the case can resolve. Depending on the circumstances and issues in your family law case, your collaborative divorce team may include:

• divorce coaches
• Therapists or psychologists
• Child specialists
• Accountants
• Financial Planners
• Real estate agents or appraisers

This team will help you consider how potential divorce solutions will work moving forward and anticipate problems that might bring you back to the negotiating table. The goal of the collaborative divorce team is to create a settlement that works emotionally, legally, and practically for you (your spouse) and your children.

Collaborative Meetings

The first collaborative meeting with both spouses and their attorneys will usually happen before the team is fully assembled (though it may be facilitated by the divorce coach). Each collaborative meeting will have the goal of identifying and resolving outstanding issues in your divorce. These meetings may often become emotional. However, the costs of walking out of the collaborative process and customizations that the process can provide motivation to keep you coming back to the collaborative table.

When Collaborative Divorce Fails

Collaborative is a “transparent process”. If either spouse gives up on the process, the collaborative divorce fails and the parties go back to square one. They must get new lawyers and start a new divorce litigation proceeding. Your collaborative counsel would be prejudiced by what they learned in the collaborative process and that is why they would not be able to represent you in court if litigation is required. Whatever was said during collaborative meetings can’t be used at court. The parties will have to prove their case without those admissions or the work of their collaborative professionals.

How a Successful Collaborative Divorce Ends

Ultimately, only a judge can dissolve a legal marriage. When you and your spouse successfully resolve all issues, including custody, child support, and division of the family’s property, your lawyers will put together a Marital Settlement Agreement, and all other paperwork for the court to enter your divorce.

Collaborative Divorce vs Mediation

Collaborative divorce can cost more up front than filing a traditional divorce complaint -- though many families find themselves saving money over time by avoiding enforcement proceedings in the future.

The collaborative process isn’t right for every couple. Personality differences, power dynamics, and limited resources may all point in another direction. Collaborative divorce can cost more up front than filing a traditional divorce complaint -- though many families find themselves saving money over time by avoiding enforcement proceedings in the future.

Even where collaborative divorce isn’t an option, you may be able to resolve your differences without an emotional and expensive trial through the use of mediation. Mediation puts the parties together at the table -- with or without lawyers. With the help of a skilled facilitator, the parties work through all issues and try to reach a final settlement.

Both mediation and collaborative divorce are alternative dispute resolution methods that keep the parties out of court. Collaborative divorce may take longer than mediation, which is often just one or two sessions. While your lawyer may prepare you for mediation, if your lawyer does not attend mediation with you - you are somewhat on your own in mediation. It isn’t a mediator’s job to help you identify priorities or anticipate future problems. Instead, the mediator is focused on the dispute of the moment and works to help reach an agreement - although the agreement may not always be your most favorable outcome.

A mediator’s role may be more narrow than a collaborative divorce lawyer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is worse. Some parties don’t need the full collaborative process. They may have already resolved many of their issues or addressed their emotional concerns. In those cases, a mediation can save time and money while still letting the parties avoid the public exposure of divorce litigation.

Choose Collaborative Divorce or Mediation

Choosing the right process for your divorce isn’t always easy. Before you commit to the collaborative divorce process, speak to a Maryland divorce lawyer to weigh the pros and cons of each process, including traditional litigation, mediation, and collaborative divorce. Then you can choose the process that is right for you, your needs, and your budget.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Maryland divorce lawyers are trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and litigation strategies. We can help you decide which process is best for your family, and then stand by your side throughout that process. To talk to a collaborative divorce attorney or schedule a mediation, contact us today to schedule a confidential office consultation.

Ending a relationship with a spouse or partner is hard enough. Where you have a child in common, divorce or separation can take on another level of emotional strain and complexity. Where childless couples can make a clean break, parents must find ways to put their children’s needs first and peacefully cooperate with one another even after the divorce is final. Here are six steps to child custody in Maryland, and other helpful tips to make navigating child custody easier on your children, and yourself.

Step 1: Do You Have Standing (Authority) to Ask for Custody?

Before you can begin to navigate Maryland’s child custody laws, you need to know if you have authority or the right to pursue custody in the first place. In the legal world, this is called “standing.” Standing to seek custody is automatic for birth mothers and spouses that were married throughout the mother’s pregnancy. However, if a child’s parents are unmarried, Maryland law gives custody of a child to his or her mother. As an unmarried father, you will need to be sure you have “established paternity” before you can seek custody.

How an Unmarried Father Establishes Paternity

• Signing an Affidavit of Parentage (often at the hospital after the child’s birth)
• Marrying the child’s mother and acknowledging himself as the father (in writing or verbally)
• Asking the court to declare he is the father with proof (including DNA testing)

You shouldn’t let questions about paternity stop you from talking to a family law attorney, though. Often paternity and custody issues can be resolved in the same court case. Even if you aren’t on the child’s birth certificate or have questions about whether you are the child’s biological father, your family law attorney can help you answer those questions and establish your standing to seek custody of your children.

Step 2: Set Priorities Based on Child Custody Laws in Maryland

Once you know you have (or can establish) standing, the next step is to decide what you want custody to look like after your relationship is over. Many parents come to their initial meeting with a lawyer afraid they will “lose their kids” in the divorce or break-up. Others expect  to be awarded “sole custody” — meaning they want to cut the other parent out of their child’s life altogether. Neither of these are likely to be true.

It is important that any ideal custody arrangement be based on how Maryland courts decide child custody, and on how well you and your child’s other parent can cooperate. Maryland child custody orders can be sole or joint for both legal and physical custody.

Legal Custody

Legal custody is essentially decision-making authority for major educational, medical, and religious matters related to the child.

Legal custody is essentially decision-making authority for major educational, medical, and religious matters related to the child. It says who decides where your son is enrolled in school, whether your daughter gets braces, and when your child is baptized. Joint legal custody is essentially a promise to work together to make those decisions. Under sole legal custody, one parent has the final say, but must still inform the other parent.

Physical Custody

When most people think of custody, they are imagining physical custody: where the child stays on a day-to-day basis. However, many parents misunderstand what sole physical custody looks like. In Maryland, physical custody is based upon overnights.  Unless your former partner is an unfit parent, in Maryland they are going to be awarded access with the child. This is generally a good thing for you and your child. It allows your son or daughter to maintain a relationship with their other parent, and it gives you a chance to have a life outside of your children.

What visitation rights for non-custodial parents look like depends on many factors, including work schedules, geographic distance between the parents, and each parent’s desire to be involved in the child’s day-to-day life. There are many reasons why joint physical custody may be best for you and your family. However, in other cases, even visitation needs to be carefully structured to protect your child.

Your Maryland family lawyer can help you understand the pros and cons of physical and legal custody, and help you decide if fighting for sole legal custody and sole physical custody is right for your family. That way you start your custody case with an idea of what your priorities are, and where you can be flexible to work with your child’s other parent, instead of against them.

Step 3: Starting the Court Proceedings

Once you know what your desired outcome is, it is time to start the paperwork. Your Maryland family lawyer will prepare a Complaint for Custody (or a Complaint for Paternity, if you are an unmarried father without an Affidavit of Paternity). You should review this document very carefully. Make sure all the details are correct before your attorney files it. Don’t exaggerate and don’t hide the truth. Instead, work with your attorney to create an accurate explanation of what has happened and what you want custody to look like going forward.

In some cases where one parent is hostile or there are pressing issues, your lawyer may recommend seeking an emergency custody order. In Maryland, anyone with standing to seek custody may file an emergency petition for child custody and ask the court to hear the issue right away, even without notice to the other parent (this is called an ex parte hearing).

When to File an Emergency Petition for Custody

An emergency custody hearing is only granted in extreme circumstances.  An emergency hearing may be appropriate if:

• Your child has been abused by a parent, their significant other, or someone else in the home
• Your former partner has been convicted of child molestation (even without proof of current abuse or neglect)
• Your child is at risk of neglect or abandonment
• The other parent is making plans to take the child out of state without permission
• The home where your child resides is without utilities, is in foreclosure or eviction proceedings, or has been damaged by a natural disaster
• Your former partner has a substance abuse problem that threatens the child

If the Maryland family court agrees that your child’s current living conditions are dangerous, the judge may award you temporary child custody while your case is pending. The hearing to make this decision can happen days, or even hours, after your attorney files the motion, so it is wise to be ready to remove the child from the other parent’s care on short notice.

Step 4: Negotiation and Mediation

Even before these things are ordered by the Court, negotiation, formal mediation, or adopting the collaborative divorce process, may help you and your family settle on a custody arrangement that works for everyone in a manner that is more efficient and cost-effective than traditional litigation.

In the absence of an emergency, it takes time after you file your complaint for the Maryland family court to hear your case. In the meantime, you and your attorney should be negotiating with your former spouse or partner to see if you can agree on custody. In many cases, your former spouse or partner’s ideal custody arrangement won’t be the same as yours. If there are no allegations of physical abuse, the Maryland Court will order you and your co-parent to participate in co-parenting education and mediation.  Even before these things are ordered by the Court, negotiation, formal mediation, or adopting the collaborative divorce process, may help you and your family settle on a custody arrangement that works for everyone in a manner that is more efficient and cost-effective than traditional litigation.

Why You Should Work Toward a Custody Agreement

In almost every case, reaching a custody agreement will be better than any decision the court may reach at trial. This is because:

• You know the details of your life and your schedule better than the judge
• Hard feelings from “losing” a custody battle get passed on to the child
• Child custody trials are emotionally and financially expensive
• Family court records are public and your child could get access to them in the future
• Parents who work together to create custody agreements are more likely to follow them
• Learning dispute resolution methods reduces the risk of custody enforcement actions

Work with your family law attorney to identify middle ground between your ideal custody arrangement and your former partner’s position. With the help of a mediator or collaborative coach you may even discover a resolution neither of you considered at the start of your case. Be open to these new ideas and the possibility that you may reach a custody agreement without ever going to court. If your family does reach a custody agreement, your Maryland family law attorney will help you put the agreement into a court order to be signed by the judge, and your case will be closed.

Step 5: Proving the Child’s Best Interests to the Maryland Family Court

If negotiations fail, it will be up to the judge to decide upon a child custody and visitation arrangement for your family going forward. Your case will be scheduled for a trial where both sides will have the opportunity to prove their version of custody is in the best interest of the child.

If negotiations fail, it will be up to the judge to decide upon a child custody and visitation arrangement for your family going forward. Your case will be scheduled for a trial where both sides will have the opportunity to prove their version of custody is in the best interest of the child. In most cases, that means both you and your spouse will be asked to testify. You may (and most likely should) also present other evidence and witnesses such as your child’s teacher, therapist or caregiver, or other relatives or friends who have seen both parents interact with the child.

How Maryland Judges Decide Custody: The Best Interests of the Child

Once all the evidence is presented, the judge will apply that evidence to several factors to determine the “best interests” of the child:

• Who was historically the primary caregiver
• Physical and psychological fitness of each parent (and whether accommodations can be made for any disability)
• Character and reputation of each parent
• Parents’ desires and current custody agreements (even if they are partial or temporary)
• Ability to maintain existing family relationships (including extended family and the other parent)
• Preference of the child (often through an interview with the judge without the parents present)
• Financial resources affecting the future life of the child
• Age, health, and gender of the child
• Geographic location of parents’ residences and opportunity for visitation with extended family
• Length of separation between parent and child
• Prior history of abandonment or surrender of the child
• Religious views affecting the physical or emotional well-being of the child

How to Get Sole Custody in Maryland

If you are trying to get sole custody but your former spouse believes joint custody is appropriate, the judge will also have to consider:

• Parents’ ability to talk about and reach joint decisions for their child’s care (this is the court’s top priority)
• Parents’ willingness to share custody
• Fitness of parents (Will a physical or psychological condition affect a parent’s ability to make decisions for the child?)
• Child’s relationship with each parent
• Child’s preference
• Stabilizing or destabilizing influences on the child’s school and social life (such as frequent moves or transportation problems)
• Physical closeness of parents’ homes
• How parents’ employment will affect their ability to share custody (i.e. work trips or overtime)
• Age and number of children
• Financial status of the parties
• Benefit to parents
• Sincerity of the parents (whether they are using their children as bargaining chips for other terms of the divorce)
• The effect of joint custody on state or federal assistance programs

Whether you are fighting to get sole custody, or are trying to be an active participant in your child’s life, proving the child’s best interests takes preparation and strategy. You should work with your Maryland family law attorney from the start — even before the Complaint for Custody is filed — to develop your arguments and gather the evidence you will need to prove your case.

Step 6: Enforcement and Modification

Even if you and your former spouse agreed on the initial custody agreement, 18 years is a long time to maintain a schedule. Circumstances can change, and people’s willingness to cooperate can change with them. As your children grow older, you may need to come back to the negotiating table to modify the visitation schedule, or even file a motion to enforce your child custody order. Physical and Legal custody in Maryland is always subject to modification based upon the best interest of your child and a material change in circumstances from your original child custody determination.  Your family law attorney can help you consider your options to enforce or modify your child custody arrangement, and work with your ex-partner and the court to protect your relationship with your child.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Maryland child custody lawyers can help you navigate the child custody process and put your children first. We will guide you from determining if you have standing to negotiating a custody agreement or proving your child’s best interests in court. When circumstances change and you need a modification, we can help you find a new arrangement that suits you and your family Contact us today to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

Whether you are involved in a divorce proceeding or a child custody matter, litigation is often an emotional and intrusive experience. It can be made even more so through the discovery process, when you are required by the court’s rules of procedure to provide numerous types of documents to the opposing party and to the Court. If you have text messages, e-mails, or other documents that re relevant to your legal matter, then it is likely that you will need to share that evidence as part of the discovery process – and it is important that this evidence is not destroyed.

What Happens to Text Messages, E-Mails and Photos in Court?

You may be required to share documents with the opposing party in response to a Request for Production of Documents, a Deposition Notice, or a trial Subpoena. While there are surely documents that you would prefer that your spouse or the court not see (i.e. a disparaging text message, an embarrassing photograph, a receipt for an excessive purchase), you will still be required to comply with the court’s rules as to discovery and evidence, which mandate that you produce all relevant documents within your possession, custody, or control. While you may have a strong desire to prevent certain documents from ever seeing the light of day, the consequences of doing so may be end up being worse than disclosing the documents.

There is a concept under the law known as “spoliation”, which is the intentional destruction of evidence.

There is a concept under the law known as “spoliation”, which is the intentional destruction of evidence. If a judge finds that a party has intentionally destroyed a discoverable document (e-mail, text message, or otherwise), the judge has broad authority to impose sanctions against the party responsible for the destruction. The court’s sanctions may be financial in nature, with the imposition of attorney’s fees and expenses, or the sanctions may have substantive legal consequences, resulting in the dismissal of claims or allowing the fact finder to draw an inference as to the content of destroyed documents. The requirement to preserve documents applies not only to physical documents, but also to records and data that is maintained electronically, whether by you, or by a third party on your behalf.

In their consideration of claims of spoliation of evidence, the Court will look at whether: (1) there was an act of destruction; (2) the evidence was discoverable; (3) there was an intent to destroy the evidence; and (4) occurrence of the act was at a time after suit has been filed, or, if before, at a time when the filing is fairly perceived as imminent. Cumberland Insurance Group v. Delmarva Power, 226 Md.App 691 (2016). The fourth prong of the Court’s test is important to note, because spoliation sanctions may be imposed if a document is destroyed even before litigation has started.

Be Proactive

In Maryland, custody and child support are always subject to modification. With this in mind, it is important to preserve evidence even after your case has concluded. If your child is under the age of 18 and has not yet graduated from high school, it is possible that you could find yourself back before the Court on a modification of child support or custody. The day to day communications between you and your co-parent could be the very evidence that would make or break your future case. In divorce, the communications or documentation that is produced follow your divorce hearing may be relevant in the future in enforcement proceedings should either party fail to comply with the Court’s Orders.

Even if you believe there are documents in your possession, custody, or control that may be detrimental to your case, do not destroy or dispose of the evidence. It is important you bring those concerns to the attention of an attorney, rather than risk sanctions from the court. An attorney will be able to advise you about your concerns, and discuss a strategy going forward to address and mitigate any potential issues. If you are concerned that your spouse will attempt to destroy documents relevant to your case, there are steps that can be taken to put your spouse, or the custodian of relevant records, on notice that litigation is imminent and that they have a duty to preserve all evidence going forward.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we offer virtual consultations and mediations using Zoom, Skype, Facetime, and telephone. Contact us today to schedule a mediation or a consultation with an attorney.

There are a variety of options depending on your specific circumstances. We understand that with separation and divorce, living in separate households can be a difficult subject and can become expensive. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our attorneys and mediators have a goal to listen to you and create options that meet your needs.

What Are My Options?

If there is an allegation of domestic violence, you can immediately petition the Court for the other spouse to be removed from the marital home. This option requires court action. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we represent both those who have been abused, as well as those against whom abuse has been alleged.

You may also file a divorce action and ask the court for exclusive use and possession of the home. Again, this requires court intervention. It can be difficult to get the court to allow one spouse to move out, depending on the circumstances, and the vast majority of magistrates and judges throughout the State of Maryland often do not like to remove someone from a house if both spouses are living there together at the time of the hearing unless necessary. It is important to let us know all of the facts, so that the attorneys at the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram can assist you in determining whether this is an option for you.

If the home is titled solely in your name, you may be able to file a legal action to remove the other spouse, as if that spouse was a renter. Again, in certain jurisdictions, this is a viable option.

You can also file for divorce, move out of the marital home temporarily and then ask the court to grant you a return and use and possession of the marital home.

In certain circumstances, moving out may actually be the best option. Even though it can be a difficult and expensive adjustment, looking to the future it may be the best alternative.

In certain circumstances, moving out may actually be the best option. Even though it can be a difficult and expensive adjustment, looking to the future it may be the best alternative. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we can help you strategize how to ask for alimony, child support or other relief to assist you in moving out, if that is the only way you will be able to move forward with your divorce.

What Process is Best for Me?

We know that traditional litigation isn’t the best choice for every client. Sometimes, a client can use mediation, the collaborative process, or attorney assisted negotiation to help you resolve the dispute. We help you decide which process is right for you. Then we can guide you through each of these processes, giving you advice along the way and helping you prepare properly.

Our office offers in-person and virtual consultations and mediations using Zoom, Skype, Facetime, and telephone. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys if you have additional questions or would like to discuss your options in more detail.

There are a variety of answers depending on the specific circumstances behind the ring. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our attorneys and mediators have a goal to listen to you and help you to understand the various options.

What Makes a Gift Conditional?

If you give your fiancé an engagement ring and then you get married, the ring belongs to them as it was given as a gift.

A conditional gift is exactly what it sounds like: a gift with a condition. The condition is getting married.

However, sometimes it is not that simple. An engagement ring is typically a conditional gift. The word “gift” in the legal world has a very specific meaning. Essentially, you have to mean to give the gift for it to be called a gift. A conditional gift is exactly what it sounds like: a gift with a condition. The condition is getting married.

Exceptions to the General Law

There are a number of exceptions to the general law. If the ring was given on a holiday (for example Christmas), Valentine’s Day, on the receiver’s birthday, or some other holiday such celebratory event, then the courts may look upon the giving of the engagement ring as a gift but not as a conditional gift. In this scenario, the law does not necessarily require that the ring must be returned.

Or, what if you give your fiancé an engagement ring, but for whatever reason, the two of you never marry? In that case, you would likely have to give your fiancé the ring back as you did not fulfill the condition of keeping the ring by getting married.

Another example occurs when your fiancé gives you an engagement ring, but the wedding is called off and you decide to sell the ring. In that instance, under the law you would likely owe your fiancé the value of the ring.

In addition, scenario that comes about often is if you give your fiancé an engagement ring, get married and later in the marriage, you “upgrade” your rings and get a new engagement ring. That “new” engagement ring no longer the original conditional gift engagement ring. That would instead be marital property and the value would belong to both spouses.

However, if you trade in your original engagement ring to get the new ring, the value of the old ring is not marital; it is yours.

By way of example, if you trade in your old ring for $1,000.00 and purchase a new ring for $5,000.00. The result: $1,000.00 of the new ring is not marital, but $4,000.00 of the new ring is marital.

There are an endless variety of other situations that can arise out of engagement rings and other similar items. If you have additional questions or other scenarios that have occurred to you, our office offers in-person and virtual consultations and mediations using Zoom, Skype, Facetime, and telephone. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys if you have additional questions or would like to discuss your options in more detail.

When you are sitting across the table at a divorce lawyer’s office, you may want to be selective about what you say and plead your best case. Keeping secrets from your attorney can come back to haunt you. Find out why you should tell your divorce lawyer everything, even if it makes you look bad.

Divorce Means Emptying All the Skeletons Out of Your Closet

Divorce litigation is deeply personal. Unlike civil lawsuits or contract disputes that involve money, divorce and child custody cases can often delve into all the worst parts of your past. In many cases, your spouse was your confidante and knows things about you no one else does. In other cases, things that happened behind closed doors in your own home can be dragged out into the open as you and your ex-spouse battle over child custody or establish grounds for divorce . The skeletons in your closet may become part of your Maryland divorce if your spouse presents evidence of past misconduct, which might include:

• Physical abuse, emotional abuse, or cruelty which caused your spouse to abandon the home.
• Past or present sexual infidelity.
• Drug, alcohol, or other addictions which may have caused you to overspend, support a claim for alimony or property division, or impact your claims for custody.
• Mental health diagnosis, behavioral challenges, or criminal record that may affect your ability to care for your children.

Attorney-Client Confidentiality Gives You the Freedom to Tell Your Divorce Lawyer Everything

Every licensed attorney in Maryland must comply with the state’s Rules of Professional Conduct. When it comes to clients’ secrets, those rules say that, with certain exceptions:

“An attorney shall not reveal information relating to representation of a client unless the client gives informed consent, the disclosure is impliedly authorized in order to carry out the representation, or the disclosure is permitted by section (b) of this Rule.”

In other words, unless it is part of the case itself, what you say in the lawyer’s office will stay in the lawyer’s office. The exceptions to those rules are:

• To prevent death or substantial bodily harm
• To prevent or mitigate the consequences resulting from the client committing a future crime
• In seeking assistance from other attorneys on how to comply with the rules or court orders
• In cases where the client has sued the attorney.

That means when you sit down with a divorce lawyer, you can feel secure knowing that your secrets are safe with your attorney. This is true even if you tell your lawyer you committed a crime in the past, hit your spouse in an unreported incident of domestic violence, or have a drug or alcohol addiction.

What Happens if You Keep Secrets from Your Divorce Attorney

Even with the promise of confidentiality, many people are hesitant to come forward and tell their divorce lawyer everything. But keeping secrets from your divorce attorney as you prepare your case together could cause big problems later when the skeletons get dragged out of the closet.

Hidden Assets Can Cost More in the End

Often a person worried about his or her nest egg will try to hide assets to keep the court from awarding it to his or her spouse. She may give gifts or cash to relatives before filing the divorce paperwork, or he might transfer assets into new bank accounts held only in his name.

Maryland divorce lawyers know how to track down those hidden assets using discovery, subpoenas, depositions, and forensic accountants. All of these tactics can drastically increase your divorce attorney fees, which could force you to spend those hidden assets in defending your case.

Maryland divorce lawyers know how to track down those hidden assets using discovery, subpoenas, depositions, and forensic accountants. All of these tactics can drastically increase your divorce attorney fees, which could force you to spend those hidden assets in defending your case. If your spouse’s attorney is forced to employ these tactics to discover information about assets that should have otherwise been disclosed, it can also damage your credibility with the Court.

Untreated Mental Health or Substance Abuse Can be Worse for Children

Sometimes, parents will try to hide ongoing psychological conditions or substance addiction out of fear that these diagnoses will hurt their case for child custody. They may go off their medications or cancel their therapy appointments. They may smuggle drugs or alcohol into the home or deny that they are dependent on a controlled substance.

However, well-treated psychological conditions aren’t themselves a reason for a court to deny custody. It is when a person’s mental or physical health concerns interfere with their parental fitness and ability to provide care that the court will look at their conditions with more scrutiny. Often, it is better to admit a psychological diagnosis and demonstrate ongoing treatment than to hide a condition only for it to come out later on. If you don’t share complete information with your attorney from the onset, then your attorney may not be prepared to insulate you from the negative impact of any such claims.

Secrets Exposed at Trial Leave No Time to Prepare a Defense

No matter what the secret issue is, keeping secrets from your divorce lawyer is the worst thing you can do for your case. Since many divorces resolve in settlement, rather than trial, the skeletons in your closet may never see the light of a courtroom. Often, people will decide to roll the dice and keep their secrets in the hopes that settlement will avoid the pain of having to admit to their faults. Sometimes these secrets are the very thing that prevent a case from settling.

When a secret does come out at trial or late in the case, it leaves you and your divorce attorney with no time to prepare a defense. Experienced divorce lawyers have dealt with issues of adultery, drug use, and domestic violence. They know how to develop trial strategies that reduce the harm and put the issues in their proper context for the judge. This is where attorney-client confidentiality becomes so important. By opening the closet and going through the skeletons in the safety of your attorney’s office, you can make a plan for what to do if those secrets come to light.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys know what to do with bad news. When the secrets of your past might work against you in your divorce action, we can assist you to develop a confidential defense for court and a strategy for your future. Contact us today to schedule a confidential office consultation.