Blogs from April, 2020

There are a variety of answers depending on the specific circumstances behind the ring. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our attorneys and mediators have a goal to listen to you and help you to understand the various options.

What Makes a Gift Conditional?

If you give your fiancé an engagement ring and then you get married, the ring belongs to them as it was given as a gift.

A conditional gift is exactly what it sounds like: a gift with a condition. The condition is getting married.

However, sometimes it is not that simple. An engagement ring is typically a conditional gift. The word “gift” in the legal world has a very specific meaning. Essentially, you have to mean to give the gift for it to be called a gift. A conditional gift is exactly what it sounds like: a gift with a condition. The condition is getting married.

Exceptions to the General Law

There are a number of exceptions to the general law. If the ring was given on a holiday (for example Christmas), Valentine’s Day, on the receiver’s birthday, or some other holiday such celebratory event, then the courts may look upon the giving of the engagement ring as a gift but not as a conditional gift. In this scenario, the law does not necessarily require that the ring must be returned.

Or, what if you give your fiancé an engagement ring, but for whatever reason, the two of you never marry? In that case, you would likely have to give your fiancé the ring back as you did not fulfill the condition of keeping the ring by getting married.

Another example occurs when your fiancé gives you an engagement ring, but the wedding is called off and you decide to sell the ring. In that instance, under the law you would likely owe your fiancé the value of the ring.

In addition, scenario that comes about often is if you give your fiancé an engagement ring, get married and later in the marriage, you “upgrade” your rings and get a new engagement ring. That “new” engagement ring no longer the original conditional gift engagement ring. That would instead be marital property and the value would belong to both spouses.

However, if you trade in your original engagement ring to get the new ring, the value of the old ring is not marital; it is yours.

By way of example, if you trade in your old ring for $1,000.00 and purchase a new ring for $5,000.00. The result: $1,000.00 of the new ring is not marital, but $4,000.00 of the new ring is marital.

There are an endless variety of other situations that can arise out of engagement rings and other similar items. If you have additional questions or other scenarios that have occurred to you, our office offers in-person and virtual consultations and mediations using Zoom, Skype, Facetime, and telephone. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys if you have additional questions or would like to discuss your options in more detail.

When you are sitting across the table at a divorce lawyer’s office, you may want to be selective about what you say and plead your best case. Keeping secrets from your attorney can come back to haunt you. Find out why you should tell your divorce lawyer everything, even if it makes you look bad.

Divorce Means Emptying All the Skeletons Out of Your Closet

Divorce litigation is deeply personal. Unlike civil lawsuits or contract disputes that involve money, divorce and child custody cases can often delve into all the worst parts of your past. In many cases, your spouse was your confidante and knows things about you no one else does. In other cases, things that happened behind closed doors in your own home can be dragged out into the open as you and your ex-spouse battle over child custody or establish grounds for divorce . The skeletons in your closet may become part of your Maryland divorce if your spouse presents evidence of past misconduct, which might include:

• Physical abuse, emotional abuse, or cruelty which caused your spouse to abandon the home.
• Past or present sexual infidelity.
• Drug, alcohol, or other addictions which may have caused you to overspend, support a claim for alimony or property division, or impact your claims for custody.
• Mental health diagnosis, behavioral challenges, or criminal record that may affect your ability to care for your children.

Attorney-Client Confidentiality Gives You the Freedom to Tell Your Divorce Lawyer Everything

Every licensed attorney in Maryland must comply with the state’s Rules of Professional Conduct. When it comes to clients’ secrets, those rules say that, with certain exceptions:

“An attorney shall not reveal information relating to representation of a client unless the client gives informed consent, the disclosure is impliedly authorized in order to carry out the representation, or the disclosure is permitted by section (b) of this Rule.”

In other words, unless it is part of the case itself, what you say in the lawyer’s office will stay in the lawyer’s office. The exceptions to those rules are:

• To prevent death or substantial bodily harm
• To prevent or mitigate the consequences resulting from the client committing a future crime
• In seeking assistance from other attorneys on how to comply with the rules or court orders
• In cases where the client has sued the attorney.

That means when you sit down with a divorce lawyer, you can feel secure knowing that your secrets are safe with your attorney. This is true even if you tell your lawyer you committed a crime in the past, hit your spouse in an unreported incident of domestic violence, or have a drug or alcohol addiction.

What Happens if You Keep Secrets from Your Divorce Attorney

Even with the promise of confidentiality, many people are hesitant to come forward and tell their divorce lawyer everything. But keeping secrets from your divorce attorney as you prepare your case together could cause big problems later when the skeletons get dragged out of the closet.

Hidden Assets Can Cost More in the End

Often a person worried about his or her nest egg will try to hide assets to keep the court from awarding it to his or her spouse. She may give gifts or cash to relatives before filing the divorce paperwork, or he might transfer assets into new bank accounts held only in his name.

Maryland divorce lawyers know how to track down those hidden assets using discovery, subpoenas, depositions, and forensic accountants. All of these tactics can drastically increase your divorce attorney fees, which could force you to spend those hidden assets in defending your case.

Maryland divorce lawyers know how to track down those hidden assets using discovery, subpoenas, depositions, and forensic accountants. All of these tactics can drastically increase your divorce attorney fees, which could force you to spend those hidden assets in defending your case. If your spouse’s attorney is forced to employ these tactics to discover information about assets that should have otherwise been disclosed, it can also damage your credibility with the Court.

Untreated Mental Health or Substance Abuse Can be Worse for Children

Sometimes, parents will try to hide ongoing psychological conditions or substance addiction out of fear that these diagnoses will hurt their case for child custody. They may go off their medications or cancel their therapy appointments. They may smuggle drugs or alcohol into the home or deny that they are dependent on a controlled substance.

However, well-treated psychological conditions aren’t themselves a reason for a court to deny custody. It is when a person’s mental or physical health concerns interfere with their parental fitness and ability to provide care that the court will look at their conditions with more scrutiny. Often, it is better to admit a psychological diagnosis and demonstrate ongoing treatment than to hide a condition only for it to come out later on. If you don’t share complete information with your attorney from the onset, then your attorney may not be prepared to insulate you from the negative impact of any such claims.

Secrets Exposed at Trial Leave No Time to Prepare a Defense

No matter what the secret issue is, keeping secrets from your divorce lawyer is the worst thing you can do for your case. Since many divorces resolve in settlement, rather than trial, the skeletons in your closet may never see the light of a courtroom. Often, people will decide to roll the dice and keep their secrets in the hopes that settlement will avoid the pain of having to admit to their faults. Sometimes these secrets are the very thing that prevent a case from settling.

When a secret does come out at trial or late in the case, it leaves you and your divorce attorney with no time to prepare a defense. Experienced divorce lawyers have dealt with issues of adultery, drug use, and domestic violence. They know how to develop trial strategies that reduce the harm and put the issues in their proper context for the judge. This is where attorney-client confidentiality becomes so important. By opening the closet and going through the skeletons in the safety of your attorney’s office, you can make a plan for what to do if those secrets come to light.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys know what to do with bad news. When the secrets of your past might work against you in your divorce action, we can assist you to develop a confidential defense for court and a strategy for your future. Contact us today to schedule a confidential office consultation.

These days, many Maryland residents are trying to find ways to do more with less. That includes taking on projects they would normally have left to a professional. When the project at hand is ending your marriage, you may be able to get a divorce in Maryland without a lawyer. However, even if you don’t want to use the traditional litigation model, you may still want to consult with a lawyer before you use the state’s mutual consent divorce process. Otherwise, it could end up costing you more down the road.

Hiring a Divorce Lawyer for Traditional Litigation Can Get Expensive

Many Maryland couples are willing to spend thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars on their wedding. However, when the marriage relationship breaks down, they may be hesitant to spend the same kind of money on their divorce. The traditional litigation model for dissolving your marriage can become expensive quickly. Using that process, your lawyer will need to spend time preparing and filing court paperwork, attending motions and status conferences, negotiating with your spouse’s attorney, and reviewing all the financial and personal documents disclosed during a process called discovery. With traditional lawyers’ fees billed by the hour, the more time a lawyer spends on your case, the more it will cost you and your former spouse. However, not every case needs to be so expensive. In low conflict cases, where the parties agree on most of what needs to happen and who will receive which assets, hiring a divorce lawyer doesn’t need to be expensive. In fact, you may be able to go to court to get a divorce without having a lawyer at your side at all.

Maryland Mutual Consent Process Lets You Get a Divorce Without a Lawyer

Until a few years ago, the traditional litigation model was the only path to a divorce in Maryland. Even if you and your spouse agreed on everything, you still needed to wait at least 12 months before a judge would grant you a divorce. Then, in 2015, the Maryland legislature created the “Mutual Consent Divorce”. At the time, it only applied to couples without children together. It shortened the time it took to get a divorce and eliminated the 1-year separation requirement. The mutual consent process was so successful that in 2018, the legislature expanded it to cover all divorces -- even those with children.

If your family qualifies for a mutual consent divorce, it can save you time, money, and stress. Because the process is quicker, it is almost always less expensive, even with a divorce lawyer’s help.

If your family qualifies for a mutual consent divorce, it can save you time, money, and stress. Because the process is quicker, it is almost always less expensive, even with a divorce lawyer’s help. If money is tight, you and your spouse can also continue to live together until the divorce is finalized, which will let you save money on maintaining two households.

Mutual Consent Means Agreeing on Everything, from Custody to Cutlery

Unfortunately, many couples who agree that they need a divorce still are not eligible for the mutual consent process. This is because they can’t agree on the details of their divorce. A Mutual Consent Divorce only allows you to skip hiring a divorce lawyer to go through a formal litigation process if:

• You sign and submit a written settlement agreement resolving all issues including alimony (spousal support) and property distribution.
• Include terms resolving all issues related to the care, custody, access, and support of your children.
• Include the court-approved child support guidelines worksheet.
• Neither party asks the court to set aside the settlement agreement before the divorce hearing.
• One of you attends a hearing in front of the Maryland family court judge.

While some couples can work out all their issues on their own, others need help deciding how to divide their property, or how long alimony payments should continue. Others are able to reach an agreement on all issues, but don’t have the skills to draft an agreement that fully documents all of the agreed upon terms. When these things happen, it can save everyone time and frustration to hire a divorce lawyer or mediator to help work through the details of settlement.

Example: Negotiating the Division of the Family Home

For example, Daryl and Ebony agree they need to get a divorce. They also know neither of them can afford the home they share on their own. While they were married, Daryl paid the mortgage, but Ebony’s income covered all the utilities and insurance. Daryl wants both parties to move out so they can sell the home immediately, but Ebony thinks that will waste money, since they will be paying a mortgage for an empty house. An experienced divorce lawyer can help Ebony present options to Daryl for one party to live in the home while it is listed for sale, and can negotiate with him over what bills Ebony will continue to pay until it is sold. A mediator can help Daryl and Ebony find a compromise that is agreeable to them both.

In other cases, the challenge isn’t knowing how to divide property, it’s both sides knowing what needs to be divided. In families where one spouse has traditionally handled all the financial matters, the other spouse may not know what they have, or what they are entitled to. This is especially true when it comes to retirement accounts and alimony. Often, the spouse with a higher income may falsely believe they are entitled to more of the assets in a divorce. If the lower earning spouse (or homemaker) doesn’t ask questions, it could leave her or him without the means to start over after the divorce is final.

Example: Dividing the Family’s Retirement Investments

Jerry and Gina have been married for a long time. Their children are grown and have moved away, and they both feel it is time for them to do the same. Jerry has always been the wage-earner, while Gina took care of the children and worked part-time. Over the last 20 years, Jerry has accumulated substantial amounts in a retirement account connected to his work. He believes he should receive that money in the divorce. Gina doesn’t have a retirement account and isn’t sure whether she’s entitled to any of Jerry’s investments or not. By having a consultation with a divorce lawyer, Gina can find out how Maryland law treats retirement assets in divorce and can explore options to allow her to have the money she needs when it is time to retire. Even if she decides not to hire a lawyer for the divorce process itself, that consultation can help her rest easy knowing she protected her rights and received what was fair. In the alternative, If Jerry goes to see a lawyer, he would be educated about the law and have a better understanding of how all property would be divided by the Courts, including his retirement investments.

In theory, you and your spouse could come to an agreement on all the terms and get a divorce without a lawyer using the mutual consent process. However, all too often, couples agree on the big picture, but forget about the details. When that happens, they often end up heading back to court, this time with lawyers, to get those details sorted out after the dissolution is entered.

Example: Agreeing on Custody, But Not Visitation Schedules

Consider Amy and David, and their children Mary and Edward. Amy and David know they want to get divorced, and they know that David should be the day-to-day caregiver for the children once they have separated because he works from home. They agree generally that Amy should have access to the children when she’s not working. With all this in mind, Amy and David complete the mutual consent process and get a divorce without a lawyer. However, when the holiday season rolls around and the children are on their first school break, both parties want the children to spend Christmas Day with them, and both parents find themselves needing to hire childcare providers while they are working. They end up hiring attorneys and going back to court to ask the judge to decide how the holiday break should be divided, and who should pay for child care costs.

Even when all the details are worked out and you have an agreement on all issues in your divorce, putting together the settlement agreement, child custody agreement, and child support guidelines on your own can be difficult. If you get it wrong, you may find yourself turned away from the courthouse to try again. Even if you want to get a divorce without a lawyer standing beside you in court, you may still want to hire an attorney to write the paperwork for you. That way you can be sure you will only have to have one hearing in front of the judge.

Example: Missing Guidelines Delay Divorce

James and Nancy have known their relationship was over for a long time, but neither of them bothered to file for divorce. Instead, they have been handling child visitation and support informally, with James paying Nancy $500 per month to help with the kids’ expenses. Now Nancy’s new partner has proposed to her and she needs to dissolve her marriage to James before her new wedding day. They decide to use the Mutual Consent Divorce process because it is faster, write up a settlement agreement documenting what they are already doing, and submit it to the court. On the day of the hearing, they both show up and ask the judge to enter the Dissolution of Marriage. Unfortunately, because everyone agreed on how much James should pay in support, no one ever applied the child support guidelines or filled out the worksheet. Because of this, they could be sent away to correct the error, and Nancy may have to push back her wedding.

Options to Make Sure Your Mutual Consent Divorce Goes Through

You may decide not to retain an attorney to file papers on your behalf or stand beside you in court. However, you can still hire a divorce lawyer to help you complete the mutual consent divorce process, making sure everything is worked out in advance, and the paperwork is completed properly. Depending on your needs, this could include:

• Helping you identify issues to discuss with your spouse.
• Brainstorming options to resolve disputes.
• Negotiating with your spouse or their lawyer to work out details.
• Scheduling and attending mediation to resolve disputes without traditional litigation.
• Reviewing your settlement agreement to make sure everything is covered.
• Applying the child support guidelines and filling out the worksheet.
• Writing up the settlement agreement in a way the court will accept.

Not every family needs to go through formal divorce litigation, or pay for attorneys to battle over child custody or family property. Sometimes, everyone involved knows the divorce needs to happen, and can agree on the division of property, alimony, child custody, access, and support issues. However, even if you plan to use the Maryland mutual consent process to get a divorce without a lawyer, you can still benefit from meeting with an attorney first to review your case and your documents before going to court.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys and mediators know that traditional litigation isn’t the best choice for every client. Sometimes, a client can use the mutual consent process to get a divorce without a lawyer at their side every step of the way. We help you decide if mutual consent is right for you. If so, we can guide you through the mutual consent divorce process, giving you advice along the way and helping you prepare paperwork properly once you have reached an agreement so you can get your divorce finished quickly, and without expensive and time-consuming trips to the courthouse. If you and your spouse prefer to work together, we can act as your mediator to help you resolve all issues and then prepare a written agreement so that you and your spouse would be eligible for mutual consent divorce. We can tailor our work to give you the support you need, without an attorney fee bill you can’t afford. Our office offers in-person and virtual consultations and mediations using Zoom, Skype, Facetime, and telephone. Contact us today to schedule a mediation or a consultation with an attorney.

For several weeks Marylanders have been asked to practice social distancing and other behaviors to help “flatten the coronavirus curve”. On March 23, 2020, the Governor of Maryland ordered many small businesses to close. On March 30, the Governor issued heightened safeguards including a “Stay-At-Home” Order, which will require all but very few people to stay at home or face imprisonment for up to one year, a fine of $5,000, or both.

A COVID-19 Layoff Allows Maryland Courts to Modify Child Support

If you have been laid-off or struggle with a reduction of earnings for any reason (Covid-19 or otherwise), you can request a modification of child support under Maryland law. In Maryland, child support continues until a child is 19 or graduated from high school, whichever first occurs. Child Support is always modifiable based upon a material change in financial circumstances, which might include the increase or decrease in a parent’s earnings or the increase or decrease in your child’s financial needs.

For example, local schools are closed. If you are an essential employee you may have consistent earnings, but a significant increase in work-related childcare costs. If you have experienced a loss of employment, in addition to the reduction in your income, you may also need to obtain private health insurance and those costs may be significantly more than your employer-sponsored plan.

Can You Get Immediate Child Support Modification During the Coronavirus Shutdown?

Maryland Courts have been closed to the public since March 16, 2020, except for a very limited scope of emergency cases (which does not include the modification of child support). When the Courts reopen, there will be a backlog of cases. It may be some time before your request for modification of child support can be decided, months or more. Nonetheless, it is important to file your request for modification with the Court immediately upon your change in financial circumstances. Why? The Court can order a retroactive modification.

File for Modification Now!

If you file your request for modification of child support now, retroactive modification allows the court to order that modification be backdated to the date that you first made your request. If your financial circumstances have changed and you wait to request a modification, you will not be able to get any relief for the period of time while you were waiting to take action. If you fall behind on your child support payments and you have not requested a modification, those unpaid amounts will become arrearages and they will still be owed.

While You Wait, Negotiate for a Lower Child Support Payment

Once you have filed for a modification of child support with the Courts, there is one sure fire way to speed up the process – reach an agreement.

Once you have filed for a modification of child support with the Courts, there is one sure fire way to speed up the process – reach an agreement. It may be that you and your co-parent are both painfully aware of the change in financial circumstances, loss of job, reduction of income, etc. If you can agree to modify child support (even temporarily), and the new child support amount is based upon the Maryland Child Support Guidelines, then you may be able to accomplish a quick modification of child support by filing your Agreement or a Consent Order with the Court.

The Maryland Department of Human Resources offers a free child support calculator online, which can be helpful to families with a combined household income of less than $15,000 per month. If your household income is more than $15,000 per month or you can afford to pay for a child support calculator, you can download the “home” version of the same calculator program used by the courts, SASI-CALC. With an Agreement, your child support modification will go into effect much sooner.

Self-Help Options for Child Support Modification

Many places where people look for legal help are outdated, inaccurate, or thinly veiled attempts to sell something. If you can’t afford to retain an attorney – we want to provide you with a few sources for reliable self-help information:

PeopleLaw.org

This website is sponsored by the Maryland Judiciary and provides legal self-help for Marylanders. This site also includes a searchable index of free and low cost-legal services providers in many practice areas, including family law.

Maryland Judiciary Family Court Forms Website

This website, also sponsored by the Maryland Judiciary, provides many free family law forms and detailed instructions on how to complete and file the forms yourself. These forms will not take the place of having an experienced attorney represent your interests, but filing these forms with the Court will allow you to request modification and get in line for a back-dated, retroactive modification.

Each child support case and the facts of each case are unique. These self-help resources are not intended to take the place of having an attorney advise you and represent your interests in court. Nonetheless, we recognize that sudden loss of a job and the current Covid-19 pandemic may make it difficult, if not impossible, to hire and retain an attorney.

If you are able to hire an attorney, our office would welcome the opportunity to negotiate or mediate the quickest possible modification of child support on your behalf, whether it be by agreement or by litigation. If you would like to speak with us to further discuss your options, please contact us or phone our office to schedule a confidential consultation. While we are not currently meeting with clients in-office, we can offer consultations via Skype, Zoom, and telephone. Again, if you don’t have the resources to hire an attorney, you can file a Motion for Modification of Child Support with the help of the local Office of Child Support Enforcement or on your own.