Blogs from 2022

One family law case can be stressful and time-consuming enough, but if you have multiple family law cases pending at the same time, it could be expensive and involve overlapping issues. Understanding how to deal with multiple family law cases can help you limit the cost of asserting your rights, while also making sure you and your children get the best possible outcome in each one.

Why Would You Have Multiple Family Law Cases at Once?

There are many reasons why you could end up facing multiple family law cases at the same time. Remember that family law is an umbrella term. The family court in Maryland hears cases related to:

Our family law attorneys understand how hard it can be to manage multiple family law cases at once. We know how to prioritize the Maryland Family Courts demands, and coordinate different court schedules. We will help you resolve all your family law issues in a way that protects your rights and serves your family’s needs.

• Divorce
• Child custody and visitation
• Child support
• Personal protection actions
• Adoptions

When you file for an absolute judgment of divorce, that complaint can include issues related to child custody, visitation, and child support (as well as spousal support). But if you were never married, or if you or your spouse filed a family law complaint during your period of separation, you could easily end up facing multiple family law cases. For example, there could be a child support action filed based on you or your spouse receiving state financial assistance.

In cases involving domestic violence, you might also have filed or been served with a Peace and Protective Order, shielding the survivor (and his or her children) from further violence by the abuser. This order can also direct custody, visitation, and support as well as award exclusive use of property or firearms. In the most severe cases, there may also be criminal cases pending outside the Maryland family court system that involve facts that are also relevant to a divorce or custody case.

Coordinating Multiple Cases in Maryland Family Court

Since 2016, the Maryland Family Court has had a “one family, one judge” rule. This means that all family law cases relating to the same parties or child will be assigned to the same judge. But sometimes, when a parent has children with multiple partners, or when a family moves and different courts have jurisdiction, you can end up with more than one judge hearing your case. This can create problems because judges may enter orders that conflict with one another (such as requiring a parent to be in two places at once for parenting time exchanges). It can also require you to put forward the same evidence in two courts, increasing the cost and burden of hiring an attorney to represent you in court.

If you have multiple family law cases – or think you could be facing criminal charges – you should lay everything out with your family law attorney at the initial consultation. Your lawyer has ways of coordinating, and in some cases, consolidating multiple family law cases, to reduce your costs and make sure the right issues are resolved in the proper order, given all appropriate evidence.

This is especially important if you are facing criminal charges for behavior that might be raised in your family court case (like drug charges or domestic violence). You have the right not to incriminate yourself in criminal court under the Fifth Amendment of the federal constitution (“pleading the fifth”). But if you do, your refusal to answer questions can sometimes be used against you in family court. Your family law attorney and your criminal defense lawyer should coordinate your cases to allow the criminal case to conclude before you must present evidence or testify in Maryland family court.

How to Handle Multiple Family Law Cases in Your Home

Sometimes your household will have multiple family law cases, even if you personally do not. More Maryland households are made up of blended families with step-parents and half-siblings living together. When each parent has a custody order and parenting time schedule, coordinating everyone’s schedule can get confusing.

Depending on your family dynamic, it may be beneficial to work with your family law attorney to modify one or both custody arrangements to allow half- and step-siblings to spend more time together. In other families, one-on-one time with a parent is more valuable, and a staggered weekend schedule is best. In either case, your family law attorney can help you negotiate adjustments that make it easier for everyone to handle the multiple family law cases in your household.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our family law attorneys know how hard it can be to manage multiple family law cases at once. We know how to prioritize the Maryland Family Courts demands, and coordinate different court schedules. We also have experience working together with criminal attorneys and other lawyers representing our clients in related cases. We will help you resolve all your family law issues in a way that protects your rights and serves your family’s needs. Call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

If your budget depends on receiving a monthly alimony payment from your ex-spouse, moving forward with your life can be difficult. When a new romantic relationship starts to get serious, the decisions you make can affect when and how you will stop receiving spousal support. Here’s some information about whether alimony stops if you start living with someone new or get remarried.

How Long Does Alimony Last in Maryland?

Alimony, sometimes called spousal support or spousal maintenance, is not automatic in every Maryland divorce. It is up to the Court to award alimony based on the specific circumstances in your case. (You can read the factors a court considers in awarding alimony here.) You and your former spouse can also agree on an alimony award as part of your separation agreement or marital settlement agreement. Generally, these agreements will be adopted and enforced by Maryland courts.

Alimony can be modified by court order after your judgment of divorce is entered. Even if your alimony award doesn’t include cohabitation language, your ex-spouse may seek to modify alimony based on the fact that you are living with someone new. Our Maryland divorce lawyers know what to do if your ex-spouse tries to modify alimony payments because you start to live with someone else. If you need help protecting your financial security, we invite you to contact us to schedule a confidential consultation with an attorney.

When alimony is awarded:

• On a temporary basis while the divorce is ongoing (Pendente lite alimony)
• For a set period of time after the divorce is final (Rehabilitative alimony)
• On an ongoing basis after the divorce is final (Indefinite alimony)

In each case, the alimony award will specify how much the supporting spouse (the payor) must pay to the dependent spouse (the payee), and how often. For rehabilitative alimony, it will also say for how long (i.e. 12 months or 5 years). You could also agree on a total amount to be paid over a set period of time.

Reasons Spousal Support Can End

Under Maryland law, alimony generally ends one of five ways:

• The payor pays off the full amount of alimony awarded
• The term of periodic alimony payments expires
• The payor dies
• The payee gets remarried
• The court find termination of alimony necessary “to avoid a harsh and inequitable result”

You and your spouse can agree to change some of these as part of your separation agreement or divorce negotiations. Others, like the death of the payor, are set by law. But, can you get around the “remarriage” issue just by living with your partner instead of tying the knot?

Will Maryland Cohabitation End Your Alimony Payments?

The Maryland courts have said that alimony orders that end on “the marriage of the recipient” mean that literally. They don’t extend to “marriage-type relationships” like living with a person or cohabiting together. In the Maryland case, Mendelsohn v Mendelson, the court said that termination due to remarriage means “undergoing a ceremony and obtaining a marriage license.” This means, without a legal marriage, your alimony will not stop if you start living with someone new based on remarriage language in your spousal support order.

However, many Maryland divorce attorneys have started adding some extra language to their divorce orders and domestic agreements. In addition to the death of the payor and remarriage of the payee, your prenuptial agreement, post-nuptial agreement, settlement agreement or Judgment of Absolute Divorce may list cohabitation with a romantic partner as a reason to terminate alimony. Read your documents carefully, and talk to your divorce attorney if you are unsure if this applies to you.

In Gordon v Gordon, the parties agreed that the wife’s alimony “shall also terminate in the event the Wife resides with an unrelated man without the benefit of marriage for a period continuing for beyond sixty (60) consecutive days.” The Maryland Court of Appeals said that language was enforceable, but applied a more definite term of “cohabitation” than merely maintaining a sexual relationship or living with someone new after the marriage ended. The Court defined cohabitation as a “mutual assumption of the duties and obligations associated with marriage” including:

• Living together
• Maintaining a long-term romantic relationship
• Shared assets or bank accounts
• Joint contribution to household expenses
• Public acknowledgment of the relationship

This means that if you start living with someone new, your ex-spouse will have to do more than show a copy of your lease to prove that your alimony should be terminated.

Can My Ex Modify Spousal Support Due to Cohabitation?

Notice that alimony can be modified by court order after your judgment of divorce is entered. Even if your alimony award doesn’t include cohabitation language, your ex-spouse may seek to modify alimony based on the fact that you are living with someone new, often arguing that your expenses are lower because you are sharing them with someone else. In these cases, merely living together won’t be enough to modify your spousal support award. Instead, your ex-spouse will need to prove that both parties’ financial situations make it necessary to modify the existing alimony payments to avoid a “harsh and inequitable result.”

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Maryland divorce lawyers know how important consistent alimony payments can be for the future of our clients. We know when and how alimony will end, and what to do if your ex-spouse tries to modify alimony payments because you start to live with someone else. If you need help protecting your financial security, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online to schedule a confidential consultation with an attorney.

No divorce is easy, but when divorcing a narcissist, there are additional concerns that you and your divorce attorney must address. Knowing how narcissism works and what to expect when divorcing a narcissist can be important to setting your expectations and developing the right strategy for your case.

Is Your Spouse a Narcissist?

Narcissism has become part of the public consciousness in the past several years, particularly as some have speculated about powerful people who may or may not have the disorder. Before you start using the word in your divorce action, though, it is important to remember that narcissism isn’t just a personality trait, it is a mental health issue. 

According to the Mayo Clinic:

Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Our divorce attorneys can help you protect yourself and your children from a narcissistic spouse. We know how the mental health condition can affect the divorce process, and are willing to take the steps needed to resolve your case. Understanding what to expect when divorcing a narcissist can be important to setting your expectations and developing the right strategy for your case.

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder can include:

• Exaggerated feelings of self-importance
• Entitlement
• A need for constant, excessive admiration
• Feeling superior and expecting to be recognized as such (sometimes called a superiority complex)
• A tendency to exaggerate their achievements or talents
• Preoccupation with success, power, brilliance, beauty, or (important to divorces) finding the perfect partner
• A believe that they should only associate with special people
• A tendency to monopolize conversations
• Belittling or looking down on people they deem inferior
• Expecting special favors or unquestioning compliance with demands
• Taking advantage of others to get what they want
• A reduced ability or willingness to consider others’ needs and feelings
• Feeling envy and believing others feel envious of them
• Arrogance or haughtiness
• A desire to have the best of everything
• Trouble handling criticism
• Feeling easily slighted
• Expressing rage or contempt when challenged
• Trouble regulating emotions or behavior
• Problems dealing with change and stress
• Depression or moodiness
• Feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation, or vulnerability

Only a doctor can diagnose narcissistic personality disorder. If you think you are married to a narcissist, you may need to use discovery techniques to obtain medical records confirming the diagnosis. These efforts can be frustrated when there has been no formal diagnosis, or if your partner chooses to assert his or her mental health privilege.  If you are able to obtain medical records which support a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, then you can use those medical records if your case goes to trial. 

How Does a Narcissist React to Divorce?

As the above list of symptoms shows, narcissists struggle when their imperfections are exposed. Divorce can shine a bright light on all a narcissist’s worst traits. It exposes their marriage relationship as flawed, and usually involves public criticism, if only in front of a judge or mediator. Finding out you want a divorce can also make a narcissist feel like they have failed, which could cause them to lash out. They will likely retaliate by trying to belittle you, expose your flaws, and show the court why you “were never good enough” for them. It will be up to you to find ways to deal with your spouse’s anger while at the same time moving the divorce forward.

Narcissism and Domestic Violence

Narcissists’ difficulty empathizing with others – including their spouse and children – makes it easy for them to fall into patterns of abuse, dominance, and control. When those patterns turn physical, domestic violence cases make divorcing a narcissist even more challenging. Abusers and narcissists share a trait: the need to be in control of their environment. When they feel a loss of control (such as when they are served divorce papers), this can cause them to escalate their behaviors. This can lead to new, worse, and even life-threatening physical abuse in the days after a divorce is filed. 

If you believe your spouse may grow violent for any reason, including if they are a narcissist, you should tell your divorce attorney right away – before your divorce is filed. There are strategies that your attorney can use to minimize the risk to you and your children, but only if you plan ahead. Having a safety plan in place before your narcissistic spouse learns that you want a divorce is the best strategy to keep you out of harm’s way.

How Narcissism Affects the Divorce Process

When divorcing a narcissist, you should expect a fight at every stage, from the initial service of process to the entry of the final Absolute Judgment of Divorce. A narcissist will expect to get special treatment and to be able to control everything in the divorce, even the judge. They also don’t like to lose, so they will file motions and fight hard to win, even over trivial matters that aren’t worth the attorney fees. 

Narcissists and Child Custody

Because narcissists struggle with empathy, they may treat their children as pawns or property, rather than small people with needs and feelings of their own. A narcissist is far more likely than other parents to use your children as leverage. They may also try to alienate you from your kids, convincing them that the divorce is your fault, or recruiting your children to their side instead of fostering a healthy relationship with both parents. 

Many families share joint legal custody of children, working together to make important decisions for their children. This can be good for kids and make sure that both parents are involved in their upbringing. However, a narcissistic parent will use joint legal custody as a tool to continue to manipulate and control a former spouse. Coparenting with a narcissist is challenging at best and abusive at worst. That is why it is often wise to follow a parallel parenting plan instead. 

Similarly, it is wise to avoid direct face-to-face parenting exchanges with a narcissistic parent. These handoffs can be tense even between healthy parents. However, a narcissist may use them as an excuse to escalate conflicts, often fighting over or in front of the children, causing them distress. To minimize this, consider a parenting plan that allows exchanges to happen at the start or end of the school day, or has a trusted third party provide transportation. 

Strategies for Divorcing a Narcissist

Unfortunately, when it comes to divorcing a narcissist, the only way out is through. If you want to get out of your relationship you will need to complete the divorce process and either party can make that difficult and expensive. You and your divorce attorney should have some strategies in place going in to help minimize costs, protect what is most important to you, and achieve a fair outcome.

1. Set Realistic Expectations

Your narcissistic spouse will not be reasonable or realistic in their expectations of the divorce action. If they filed a complaint for divorce first, they will expect the case to resolve quickly and entirely in their favor. If you filed first, then they will make it take as long as possible. Understanding this going in can help you set realistic expectations for their behavior, and your options to resolve your matter fairly and without undue pressure or manipulation.

1. Gather Supportive Allies

Narcissists fight their divorce battles on every front, not just in the courtroom. If you are divorcing a narcissist, you should expect that they will reach out to your friends and family to try to persuade them to convince you to drop the case. They may also recruit mutual friends to “their side” by manipulating them and rewriting your family’s narrative. The general rule is that there is no reason to announce your divorce on social media until it’s over. But if you are divorcing a narcissist, you may need to inoculate important friends and members to his or her claims ahead of time. Building a strong support network who understands your family dynamic can help you be more resilient and better endure the divorce process. 

1. Work Around the Narcissist Whenever Possible

In most divorce cases, the parties provide one another documents and information related to income, property values, debts, school records, and other aspects of the case. The free exchange of this information can save both parties time and money. However, every time you ask a narcissist for something, it is another chance for them to fight a new battle. Whenever possible, you and your attorney should find other ways to get the information you are looking for. This includes gathering important documents and financial information before you separate, and using subpoenas and other discovery techniques during the divorce action. 

1. Set Clear Boundaries

If you have been married to a narcissist for some time, you are probably very familiar with his or her disrespect of personal boundaries. In the most severe cases this can border on abusive control. As discussed above, divorce can exaggerate these behaviors, even while you are trying to separate from your spouse and start building a new life. You should make it clear from the start what your boundaries are, including when, how, and why you will or will not communicate with them. One tactic that works especially well is to direct all non-emergency communication to your attorney. You can also require all communications to be in email or text, so that you have a paper trail of everything that was said.

1. Document Everything

Narcissists have no problem lying. Often they will “gaslight” their partners or reshape narratives to make themselves out to be the victim of any conflict. You need to be prepared to fight back by documenting everything that happens during your divorce. This includes:

• Text messages and direct messages
• Social media posts
• Calendaring “visitation” and parenting exchanges
• Journaling about in-person encounters
• Getting written statements from witnesses

Your attorney will be able to use these documents in court to disprove the narcissist’s false testimony, exposing their narcissistic behavior to the court.

1. Work with a Therapist

Divorce is always emotionally difficult. Divorcing a narcissist is even moreso. Your attorney can only go so far in helping you process what happens in the courtroom. Working with a therapist – even on a short-term basis while your divorce is pending – can help you address your feelings in a healthy way. It also provides you a safe place to say what you really feel about your spouse, without having to worry about it being used against you in court. 

1. Don’t Expect Negotiation to Work

In most divorces, parties (or their attorneys) can work together to resolve low-conflict issues, narrowing the scope of trial or even coming to a complete settlement. That will not happen with a narcissistic spouse. Because narcissists need to win, any form of compromise is seen as less than perfect and therefore unacceptable. Negotiating against a narcissist generally results in nothing but an erosion of your own interests. You can send proposed settlement agreements, or even attend mediation to your narcissistic spouse, but you should not bargain or enter into piecemeal agreements. Otherwise you may end up giving up more than you realize.

Facing a Tough Divorce Against a Narcissist? We Can Help.

The best strategy for going through a divorce against a narcissist is to work with an attorney who has dealt with them before. Because narcissistic divorce works differently, if your attorney does not identify the problem early they could recommend you make concessions or offer a compromise that will hurt you later on. You need a lawyer who is prepared to take on a high-conflict situation and is equipped to fully investigate, develop, and argue your case. 

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys can help you protect yourself and your children from a narcissistic spouse. We know how the mental health condition can affect the divorce process, and are willing to take the steps needed to resolve your case. Call (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online to schedule a confidential consultation with one of our Maryland attorneys.

After a divorce or custody battle, it may be tempting to move on quickly and form a new romantic relationship. But when that relationship advances to the point of living together, things can get more complicated. Successfully creating a blended family depends on mutual respect, communication, and flexibility, not to mention time management. Here are seven tips for blended family success that you can use to get everyone on the same page.

What is a Blended Family?

When you and your romantic partner bring the children from your previous relationships to live together, you create a blended family including step-parents, half-siblings, and even unrelated children living together. After marrying your new partner, this can also be called a “stepfamily.” Forming a blended family takes work and understanding from everyone involved, but it can be very rewarding. A blended family can provide your children with the additional love and support they need to thrive, especially when one parent is distant or your divorce was messy.

Managing a blended family’s schedule is a skill. It will take time and trial-and-error to find a system that works for your family (including your co-parents). We can help you negotiate with co-parents, address legal questions and disputes, and build a plan for blended families' success.

Tips for Blended Families

1. Don’t Start Too Soon

Rushing into a new household arrangement can be harmful, especially for very young children. Too many changes at once can easily overwhelm children and make it seem like nothing is certain. It is a good idea to wait at least two years after your divorce is final before remarrying or cohabiting (moving in) with your new romantic partner.

1. Respect Everyone Involved

Blended families involve a lot of different actors, including co-parents, siblings, and extended family. You should never disparage another parent of a child in your household. Even if their behavior is a problem, the risk that a child will hear you and internalize what you say is simply too great. In addition, even if you don’t intend to alienate your co-parent, making disrespectful comments about him or her can end up being used against you if you ever go back to court. Instead, insist on a culture of respect for everyone – kids and adults alike.

1. Be Clear on Parental Roles

Young children especially can have problems understanding a step-parent’s role in a blended family. When a new partner becomes a primary caregiver, children may become more closely attached to a step-parent than their biological parent. In other cases, children may feel like you are trying to “replace” their parent with a new mom or dad. This can create identity confusion. The best tip for blended family and step parenting is to clearly communicate about parenting roles, and any changes, well before making the change. This also means setting clear boundaries between step-parents about family discipline responsibilities and who will be responsible for any punishments.

1. Allow Relationships to Build Over Time

Don’t expect your children to take to your new partner just because you do. Your children have the right to their own feelings about the introduction of a step-parent, moving, and even lingering feelings about your separation from their biological parents. The same is true for the adults in the home: you may not love your new step-children right away. Allow those relationships to build over time by connecting with each kid about things that matter to them, and giving them permission to feel and talk about their feelings.

1. Expect But Discourage Sibling Rivalry

Your kids are used to having your undivided attention. When two siblings become five, there is necessarily less quality time to go around. This can lead to new siblings feeling competitive, as though they need to earn your attention. You should expect new step-siblings to fight more than their biological siblings. However, you should also do what you can to discourage it by encouraging your kids to compete against their personal best, rather than each other, and reinforcing moments of kindness and cooperation between siblings.

1. Head Off In-Home “Property Disputes”

When two families move in together, it often means everyone has less room to spread out. Your kids may have to share bedrooms or lose play spaces. You may have to build out a basement or garage. Children may feel displaced or threatened if their new siblings are moved into spaces they saw as “theirs.” For some families, the best thing to do is start fresh, moving into a home that is new for everyone and has room for everybody. In others, that is not an option. You can head off in-home “property disputes” by putting everyone on the same page and giving everyone a say in who will stay where. Nothing is sacred, even the master bedroom.

1. Coordinate Co-Parenting Schedules

One of the biggest challenges for blended families comes in scheduling children’s visitation with their non-custodial parents. Generally, child custody and visitation rights are laid out in a court order. They may be flexible or fixed, depending on your relationship with your co-parent, among other factors. However, even if you have a fixed visitation schedule, you may be able to negotiate adjustments with your co-parent to give your kids the best schedule to adapt to their new blended family. Depending on how your children relate to one another, this could mean:

• Scheduling all kids’ time with their non-custodial parents at the same time, to maximize the time your blended family is together
• Alternating when your children visit their non-custodial parents so each child has more one-on-one time with you and their new stepparent
• Celebrating holidays or important events together as a family, even if it means sacrificing other visitation

Managing a blended family’s schedule is a skill. It will take time and trial-and-error to find a system that works for your family (including your co-parents). Consider posting a white-board calendar, or creating and sharing a visitation schedule calendar with your children who are old enough to use cell phones. Color-code each child (or group of children)’s visitation schedule, so it is easy for them to see when they will be with each parent, and with their new siblings.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Maryland family lawyers are trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and litigation strategies. We can help you negotiate with co-parents, address legal questions and disputes, and build a plan for blended families success. Contact us online today or call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 to schedule a confidential office consultation.

Many Maryland families depend on government social security benefits and social security disability insurance payments to pay their bills. When those families fall apart, it may be hard to understand where those payments will go. You may have questions about how divorce affects social security benefits for the recipient, your former spouse, and your children.

SS Benefits and Divorce

When planning for retirement, most older Maryland couples count on receiving social security retirement benefits as part of their income. However, divorce can change those calculations. If you were planning to receive social security based on your spouse’s income, you may be concerned about your right to receive SS benefits after divorce.

Your entitlement to SS benefits based on your spouse’s income depends on:

• your spouse’s work history
• your own work history
• the length of your marriage
• your age when claiming benefits

Even a stay-at-home parent and homemaker can be entitled to spousal benefits based on their spouse’s social security amount starting at age 62. They will also qualify for Medicare at age 65. However, if you are below the full retirement age (between 65 and 67, depending on the year of your birth) or are working while receiving benefits it can reduce the amount of monthly social security benefits you receive.

This remains true throughout the divorce process. Sometimes former homemakers find themselves needing to work to support themselves during separation or divorce. If you do, be sure to consider how that additional income may affect your entitlement to social security benefits.

Can a Former Spouse Receive Social Security Benefits?

If you need help understanding how divorce will affect social security retirement or disability benefits, for you, your former spouse, and your children contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation with a family law attorney.

Qualifying ex-spouses may receive up to one half of your retirement benefit amount. However, this does not decrease your retirement benefits. If your former spouse makes an application to collect social security under your work history, he or she will receive social security benefits directly from the government. Your former spouse may receive social security benefits based upon your work history (even if you have remarried) if:

• You are entitled to social security retirement or disability benefits
• Your marriage lasted at least 10 years
• Your divorce occurred at least two years ago (if you have not applied for retirement benefits)
• Your ex-spouse has not remarried
• Your ex-spouse is at least 62 years old
• Your ex-spouse’s own work history (100% benefit) is less than the benefit they can receive based upon your work history (50% benefit).

However, there is a limit to the maximum family benefits the government will pay. If you have children, a current spouse, and a former spouse who are each claiming benefits on your record, the maximum amount the entire family can claim is between 150 to 180% of your full retirement benefit. In calculating this, your former spouse’s retirement benefits based on their own work history is paid first. Only the increased benefit amount will count toward your maximum family benefit.

SSDI Disability Benefits and Divorce

Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) benefits are paid based on a person’s physical or mental disability interfering with their ability to work. SSDI benefits are generally not considered marital property to be divided in divorce. However, if those benefits were received during the marriage and placed in a joint bank account, that account can be divided during divorce.

SSDI may not be considered a marital asset, but it is considered income for the calculation of alimony and child support. If one spouse is disabled and the other has historically provided support, the provider spouse may be ordered to pay rehabilitative or indefinite alimony to help them pay their bills. However, the amount of alimony awarded will be based on multiple factors, including the disabled spouse’s access to government benefits. If you receive SSDI at the time the divorce is entered, it will likely reduce the amount of alimony you are entitled to receive.

Dependents’ Benefits and Child Support

Your biological, adopted, and stepchildren are entitled to receive dependents’ benefits under either your social security retirement or SSDI benefits. Certain dependent grandchildren also apply. To receive dependent benefits, a child must be:

• Unmarried and
• Under 18,
• Between 18 and 19 (and two months) if still a full-time high school student, or
• Have a disability that started before age 22

Just like a spouse, if your child works while receiving benefits, their benefits will be reduced based on the amount they earn. However, your benefits will not change.

In addition to any dependents’ benefits your children may receive, your SSDI payments may be garnished to help pay for court-ordered child support. That is because SSDI is considered income for support purposes. However, if your children are receiving dependents’ benefits, that amount will count toward support first, before dipping into your own payments. If you have not applied for dependents’ benefits for your child already, doing so can increase the total money available to pay for your child support.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce lawyers want to help you protect your government benefits, and make financial decisions that are best for you and your children. If you need help understanding how divorce will affect your social security retirement or disability benefits, contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation with an attorney.

If you have questions or concerns regarding your social security benefits we encourage you to also contact the Social Security Administration. To find a field office in your area visit the online Social Security Office Locator. For general questions, contact the Social Security national office at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596.

Custody cases generally center on disputes between a child’s primary parents – mothers and fathers. In custody disputes, the involvement of third parties can change the dynamic and often make things more complicated. Step-parents, grandparents, and new partners can each affect custody cases in different ways, from influencing the judge’s decisions about your child’s best interests to filing child custody cases of their own. Understanding third parties’ roles in your custody case can help you anticipate and plan for the part they will play in your family, and also to do what is best for your children. 

New Relationships Can Create Waves in Child Custody Cases

After a divorce or at the end of a long relationship, many Maryland parents are eager to move on with their lives and that often includes the start of a new romantic relationship. When a parent introduces his or her children to a new significant other too soon, it can affect the children and any related custody case. In addition to impacting your custody case and your relationship with your child, the introduction of a new significant other may also prompt an emotional reaction from your co-parent.

Children’s Response to New Parental Figures

Our Maryland child custody lawyers understand the role in custody that stepparents, grandparents, and romantic partners can play in child custody cases, both legally and emotionally. We can help you understand the limits of third parties’ authority and ability to participate in the child custody process. We will guide you through the entire case, from determining if you have standing, to negotiating a custody agreement with the child’s parents or proving your de facto parent status in court.

Children of divorced parents often struggle with feelings about their parents’ roles in their lives. For very young children, this takes the form of “attachment” and can define how independent and self-sufficient they become. They may experience parental confusion, and be unable to distinguish between their own mother or father and a step-parent or other custodian introduced too quickly.  Older children may come to resent a parent who left the marital home, or blame one parent for the changes in their environment. Introducing a new parental figure into that environment can be confusing and increase those feelings of abandonment or blame. It is best to go slowly in introducing your children to new romantic partners and wait until you are certain the relationship will last before bringing your children into the picture. 

Co-Parenting When New Relationships Start

Often, children trying to process their feelings about one parent’s new romantic partner will talk about the new partner with their other parent. This revelation can often come as a surprise to the co-parent, who likely will have his or her own emotional response based upon the timing and grief for the failed relationship. Co-parenting relationships can suffer when a new partner enters the picture. You can reduce the strain caused by the introduction of a new significant other by having open conversations with your co-parent about your intentions to make the introduction, before any introduction is made. You may even go so far as to let the adults meet first, before bringing the children into the picture.

Sometimes, a new romantic relationship can lead directly to a custody motion in court. If your co-parent has safety concerns about the stability of your new romantic partner (for example: his or her drug use, criminal history,  or anger issues), your co-parent may file a motion to restrict your partner’s role in the children’s lives. This is especially true if you move in with your new partner. These motions could ask the court to:

• Restrict overnight visits while the children are in the home
• Prevent contact between the child and the new boyfriend or girlfriend
• Keep the children from referring to your new partner as “Mom” or “Dad”
• Ban corporal punishment
• Restrict parenting decisions to just the parties
• Adjust child support based on shared expenses

If you begin a new relationship while your child custody case is still pending, your spouse can also use that fact against you in determining custody, especially if your children know about it or have been introduced to your new partner so soon. Once again, moving slowly and maintaining open communication with your co-parent is the best way to avoid the possible negative impact that your new partner may cause for your child custody case. 

Stepparents Role in Custody

If you remarry, you might think things would change around child custody and potential negative impact. However, stepparents are not legal parents of the children. Your new spouse’s relationship to you does not give them authority over your child. This power dynamic can lead to difficult situations within your household, especially if your new partner will be caring for your children or there are other children in the household. 

Can Step-Parents Provide Transportation to Visitation?

Perhaps the most common role step-parents can play is providing transportation for their step-children. They may drive children to school, extracurricular activities, babysitters, or social events. But can they provide transportation to visitation? There is no legal requirement that Maryland parents provide transportation to and from child custody exchanges. Instead, the parent dropping off or picking up is generally responsible for arranging transportation by someone with a valid driver’s license that the child knows and is comfortable with. 

However, before you send a step-parent to an access exchange, consider the emotional and relational forces at play. 

• Is this an occasional event or regular occurrence
• How well do you and your co-parent get along?
• Do your co-parent and your new spouse know each other?
• Will your co-parent be offended that you handed off the transportation duties?
• Is asking a step-parent to drive the children to visitation going to reduce or increase conflict?

There is not a clear answer for this. Some family dynamics can benefit from using a third party to act as a go-between preventing parents in conflict from engaging face-to-face. In other cases, a step-parent can be seen as overstepping his or her bounds if they take over the transportation for an otherwise disengaged parent. Consider your family’s specific interpersonal dynamics, and be sensitive to your co-parent’s feelings on the matter before sending your new spouse into a high-conflict situation.

Stepparents and Discipline

When a stepparent lives in the same home as your children, there will inevitably come some moment when he or she needs to resolve a conflict between your children or address some misbehavior. If your new spouse has a different strategy for discipline than you and your co-parent, it can not only create a conflict, but also serve as a  basis for a child custody motion. Corporal punishment, including spanking, can be especially troubling for some parents. As your child’s legal parent, you – not your spouse – have the final say on discipline issues. You must set clear boundaries for how discipline will be handled. If your spouse insists on doing something different than that which you and your co-parent have agreed, it could hurt you in court. 

Can a Stepparent Make Medical Decisions for Your Child?

The limits on a stepparent’s role are especially apparent in the doctor’s office. Stepparents have no legal authority to make decisions for a child. If you send your child to the doctor with his or her stepparent, it could delay treatment, or create a violation of your child custody order. You may sign a power of attorney to give your spouse permission to hear confidential information about your child’s health and make day-to-day decisions in your place. However, if you share joint legal custody, it should be you and your co-parent making medical decisions, without a step parent’s interference.

Grandparents’ Visitation Rights 

What about when the third party is biologically related to the child? Grandparents often play a role in child custody cases. They may provide childcare to working, single parents, or even act as primary caregivers if a parent is unavailable due to health, employment, or a jail sentence. In the courts, grandparents are third parties just like step-parents. However, they do have the right to file a motion for grandparents’ visitation. A grandparent is not likely to succeed in requesting visitation over parents’ objections. To do so, they will have to show that a parent is unfit, or that exceptional circumstances exist. According to a 2017 case, Burak v Burak, parental unfitness means:

1. “The parent has neglected the child by manifesting such indifference to the child’s welfare that it reflects a lack of intent or an inability to discharge his or her parental duties; 
2. The parent has abandoned the child;
3. There is evidence that the parent inflicted or allowed another person to inflict physical or mental injury on the child, including, but not limited to physical, sexual, or emotional abuse;
4. The parent suffers from an emotional or mental illness that has a detrimental impact on the parent’s ability to care and provide for the child;
5. The parent otherwise demonstrates a renunciation of his or her duties to care and provide for the child; and
6. The parent has engaged in behavior or conduct that is detrimental to the child’s welfare. 

Another case, McDermott v Dougherty, set out factors to determine when exceptional circumstances exist in favor of a grandparent’s visitation rights:

1. The length of time the child has been away from the biological parent
2. The age of the child when care was assumed by the third party
3. The possible emotional effect on the child of a change of custody
4. The period of time which elapsed before the parent sought to reclaim the child
5. The nature and strength of the ties between the child and the third party custodian
6. The intensity and genuineness of the parent’s desire to have the child
7. The stability and certainty as to the child’s future in the custody of the parent

Because these standards are so high, grandparents seeking visitation are often better served using mediation or other forms of alternative dispute resolution to reach an agreement about their role in a child’s custody with the parents without going to court. 

De Facto Parents Seeking Child Custody and Visitation

There are some cases where a stepparent will try to seek child custody and visitation themselves, rather than through a child’s legal parent, including where that parent is unfit (see above), or has died or become incapacitated. When it comes to awarding custody, even as a stepparent, unless you have gone through an adoption, your new spouse is still legally no different than a grandparent, the non-biological parent of a child in same-sex couples’ child custody cases, or an interested stranger. 

That is, unless they can establish themselves as a “de facto parent.” In the 2016 case, Conover v Conover, a Maryland court of appeals set out a four-pronged test to identify a person who has acted as a child’s parent for all practical purposes, without legal custody rights:

1. That the biological or adoptive parent consented to, and fostered, the petitioner’s formation and establishment of a parent-like relationship with the child; 
2. That the petitioner and the child lived together in the same household; 
3. That the petitioner assumed obligations of parenthood by taking significant responsibility for the child’s care, education and development, including contributing towards the child’s support, without expectation of financial compensation; and 
4. That the petitioner has been in a parental role for a length of time sufficient to have established with the child a bonded, dependent relationship parental in nature.

Because they cohabitate with the child and the child’s legal parent, step-parents are the most likely to qualify as a de facto parent under this definition. Once they do so, they can request custody and visitation based on their existing parental role in the child’s life – although there is no guarantee that the step-parent will prevail in making this defacto parent request. 

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Maryland child custody lawyers understand the roles stepparents, grandparents, and romantic partners can play in child custody cases, both legally and emotionally. We can help you understand the limits of third parties’ authority and ability to participate in the child custody process. We will guide you through the entire case, from determining if you have standing, to negotiating a custody agreement with the child’s parents or proving your de facto parent status in court. Contact us today through our online form or call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596  to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

Divorce is a highly emotional time for everyone involved, triggering sadness, grief, and anger for both parties. Having a plan for dealing with your spouse’s anger during divorce, and coping with your own, can help you reduce conflict and bring your marriage to a peaceful resolution without giving in to your emotions.

How Anger Can Affect the Divorce Process

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys understand how anger, grief, and other emotions can affect the divorce process. We can help you take a holistic approach to divorce, running interference between you and your spouse’s anger, and giving you space to process your own. We can connect you with professionals who can help you manage your emotional needs and help you come to a peaceful resolution that addresses your needs. We welcome you to contact us today to discuss your situation.

It is natural to feel angry when a marriage ends. Anger is a part of the grieving process. The reasons people file for divorce often come from places of hurt and anger. Especially when a marriage relationship falls apart quickly, the divorce process can start before either spouse has had a chance to process their anger and move on to acceptance.

When one or both parties are angry during the divorce process it can bring unnecessary conflict and increase the cost and time spent finalizing the divorce. Often, an angry spouse will:

• Make unreasonable demands
• Interfere with the divorce process
• Try to use the divorce to “get back” at their spouse
• Refuse to settle in favor of having their day in court in the hopes of a judge telling them they were right to be mad

This isn’t a one-way thing. Each spouse’s anger can increase antagonism in a divorce proceeding, and drive up conflict. When a spouse triggers the other’s anger, both sides will pay the price (and sometimes the children too), both financially and emotionally.

Coping with Anger During Divorce

One of the best ways to keep anger from affecting your divorce is to take steps to actively manage your own emotions. Find coping mechanisms that help you work through your negative emotions and address them in healthy ways. These could include:

• Building an emotional support structure
• Journaling or writing down your feelings (but don’t send them to your spouse, and be careful where these thoughts are saved as they could be subject to discovery!)
• Using physical activity to release anger and anxiety
• Strategically disengaging when emotions run high
• Joining a divorce support group or working with a divorce coach or therapist
• Adhere to a regular schedule (sleep and meal timing)
• Spend time with family and friends where you focus on things other than your divorce

There are also positive ways to use divorce-related anger. You may have good reason to be angry at a spouse who has been unfaithful to you, wasted family assets, or treated you with disrespect. You can use that anger to motivate yourself to set goals for your life post-divorce; define boundaries for co-parents and future romantic relationships; and motivate you to take steps to build your future success.

Dealing with Spousal Anger During Divorce

Unfortunately, you can’t control anyone’s emotions but your own. If your spouse is prone to anger, it will likely affect the way your divorce plays out. However, there are some strategies for dealing with spousal anger during divorce that can minimize the impact on you (and your children):

• Do not engage with your spouse’s anger. If they are emotional, acknowledge the anger. Take a break and return to the conversation after both of you are calm.
• Avoid antagonizing or blaming your spouse. Try to engage with them like a business partner: be direct, and focus on the forward-looking issues, rather than airing past grievances.
• Do not feel pressured to give in to your spouse just because they are angry. You can hear them out without making a substantive response. Talk to your attorney about any offer your spouse has made and decide if it meets your needs and goals, before you respond.
• When necessary, work through your attorney to provide distance and a cool head. You can focus on day to day interactions with your spouse and defer to your attorney when it comes to the divorce.

Anger and Abuse in Domestic Violence Divorces

No discussion of anger during divorce is complete without addressing the role anger plays in abusive family dynamics. Survivors of domestic violence often are more afraid of their partners’ anger than of the physical assault itself. When an abuser gets angry it can cause them to lash out physically, emotionally, and verbally, in a host of unpredictable and harmful ways.

Unfortunately, the start of a divorce is a dangerous time for domestic violence victims. When an abuser loses control of their spouse and the relationship as a whole, they will get angry, and may escalate their abusive tactics to regain control. If your spouse has a history of being verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive, you should talk to your divorce attorney and create a safety plan before you file any documents to build additional protections for yourself and for your children - and before your partner learns that the marriage is over.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys understand how anger, grief, and other emotions can affect the divorce process. We can help you take a holistic approach to divorce, running interference between you and your spouse, and giving you space to process your own emotions. We can connect you with professionals who can help you process your emotions and help you find a peaceful resolution that will address your needs and the needs of your family. Call (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or complete our online information form to schedule a confidential consultation with one of our Maryland divorce attorneys.

It takes two people to be married, but only one person to be divorced. The breakdown of the marriage relationship doesn’t always feel the same to both parties. Often one spouse is ready for a divorce before the other. When that happens, your spouse may refuse to sign divorce papers or refuse to finalize a separation agreement. Maryland law provides options for spouses who want to get a divorce over their husband or wife’s objection.

Does My Spouse Have to Agree to Get Divorced?

If you are ready to get divorced, the divorce attorneys at the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram are here to help. We can help negotiate with your spouse to reach a Separation Agreement or even agree on a Mutual Consent Divorce. But if your spouse refuses to sign divorce papers, we can also take the matter to court, freeing you from a marriage you no longer want. We will help you through the process.

Divorce is a difficult and emotional process. Having a spouse refuse to sign divorce papers can make it that much harder to move on from a relationship that has broken down. In Maryland, your spouse does not have to agree for you to get a divorce. Either spouse can file a Complaint for Absolute Divorce. The fact that your spouse believes the marriage can be saved through counseling or still wants to be married will not prevent the court from entering a judgment after the process is complete.

That said, if your spouse does agree that your marriage is over, it can significantly reduce the time, expense, and frustration involved in the divorce process. You and your spouse may be able to negotiate divorce terms you can agree on, either through mediation or on your own. If you and your spouse have a written separation and property settlement agreement, you can use the Maryland Mutual Consent Divorce process to shortcut the normal divorce timetable and get your case resolved more quickly.

What to Do if Your Spouse Refuses to Sign Divorce Papers

If you and your spouse can’t agree on a divorce settlement before filing, that’s okay. Your attorney can help you prepare and file a Complaint for Absolute Divorce without any cooperation from your spouse. Once the Complaint for Absolute Divorce is filed, it must be served on your spouse. This is another time when a spouse may interfere with the process moving forward. However, even if your spouse refuses to accept the documents from the process server, the case can still go forward. Your attorney can pursue service a different way and file proof with the court so the case can continue.

Default Divorce Options

If your spouse refuses to acknowledge the divorce paperwork they receive, it can actually work in your favor. Under Maryland law, your spouse has 30 days to file a response to your Complaint, or 60 days if they live out of state. If your spouse misses that deadline, your attorney may file a request for Order of Default and send them a notice with the hearing date.

If a default is entered, your spouse will then have a short window of 30 days to file a motion to vacate the default. A motion to vacate the default, once entered, must state the reasons that your spouse failed to respond on time and that it is equitable (fair) for the Court to excuse that failure. If your spouse doesn’t file the motion to vacate default within those 30 days, the court will schedule a default hearing and take testimony and evidence without your spouse’s participation.

Once the Court finds your spouse in default, if he or she still refuses to participate by attending the hearing the Court will enter a default judgment. The default judgment of divorce will likely include the relief you request, including child custody and visitation, support, and property divisions, provided you have sufficient evidence on your own to meet the requisite legal standards.

Refusal to Sign or File Court Papers For Divorce After Settlement

In other cases, your spouse might participate or even initiate the divorce process, but then when it comes time for settlement, refuse to sign an agreement that he or she proposed. Once a Separation Agreement that addresses custody, support and property division is put together as a formal contract and signed, it cannot be easily set aside. If your spouse signed a Separation Agreement but now won’t agree to a Judgment of Absolute Divorce, your attorney can file a motion to enforce the agreement and have it incorporated into a Judgment of Absolute Divorce, even if your spouse doesn’t agree or fails to participate. It will then be up to him or her to convince the judge to set aside the agreement rather than holding your spouse to his or her word.

Get Help Streamlining Your Divorce Process

If you are ready to get divorced, the divorce attorneys at the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram are here to help. We can help negotiate with your spouse to reach a Separation Agreement or even agree on a Mutual Consent Divorce. But if your spouse refuses to sign divorce papers, we can also take the matter to court, freeing you from a marriage you no longer want. We will help you through the process. Contact us today or call (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

Getting a divorce means separating your ex-spouse from every part of your life: your home, your finances, and your future. But if you changed your name after the wedding, you could be carrying a part of them with you every time you pull out your ID or put your signature on a document. You don’t have to keep your married name after the marriage is over. Here is what you should know about a name change after divorce.

Who Can Change Their Name After Divorce

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys know how to change our clients’ names during and after finishing the Maryland divorce process. We’ll guide you through who to notify and where to send copies of your order from start to finish, making sure all the right people know your new name going forward. We will help you negotiate to change any children’s names, and make sure your name is restored as part of the Absolute Judgment of Divorce, or a separate name change order.

In Maryland, any person may change their name after they get married, men and women alike. A woman can take her husband’s name, the couple can hyphenate their names, or they can agree on a combined name and both change their names to the new one. The only limitation is that it must be done consistently and not for an illegal or fraudulent purpose.

Maryland divorce law allows any name changes done as a result of the marriage to be undone as part of the couple’s divorce. The parties can request a name change as part of their initial pleadings. Once the entire divorce process is complete, the Absolute Judgment of Divorce will include an order allowing one or both parties to change their names back to:

• A woman’s maiden name
• Any previously-used last name

This can allow parents to take the last names of their children, or even an earlier spouse. However, the request must not be done for illegal or immoral purposes, and cannot be used to evade creditors (more on that later).

Reasons to Change Your Name After Divorce (Or Not)

There are many reasons why a person may choose to change their name, or not change their name as part of their divorce proceedings. You may want to change your name if:

• You are not on good terms with your ex-spouse
• You want to restore a family name that is important to you
• You have children from a prior relationship with a different last name
• Your married name is hard to spell or pronounce

On the other hand, you may want to maintain your married name if:

• You are on good terms with your ex-spouse
• You want to have the same name as your children from the marriage
• You don’t want to go through the trouble of changing your name after divorce (more on that later)
• You have developed a professional reputation under your married name
• Your maiden name is hard to spell or pronounce

Can You Keep Your Spouse from Changing Their Name After Divorce?

Sometimes one party wants to make the decision about a name change for their ex-spouse. They may want to “take back” their name and force a change. In other cases they will want to keep their spouse from changing their name after divorce. Most often this is out of concern that children or teachers will be confused if a parent has a different last name than their children. However, you cannot force another person to change their name. Each person gets to choose whether to restore their former name, or keep their current name after the divorce is complete.

Can You Change Your Kids’ Names After Divorce?

Your children are not parties in your divorce action, so you cannot change their names as part of the divorce proceedings. In addition, a legal name change does not affect a parent’s legal rights or obligations to the child. However, your divorce attorney can help you negotiate a child’s name change while the divorce is pending, and schedule any hearings to coincide with a hearing in your divorce case.

For children under 12 months old, if both parents agree, you can make a name change simply by sending a request to the Department of Health. For older children, you will need to go through the formal name change process using the Petition for Change of Name (Minor) (CC-DR-062) (discussed below). Both parents will also need to sign a Consent to Change of Name form (CC-DR-063). If you can’t agree, the child’s other parent must be served with a summons and given an opportunity to object to the name change. Then it will be up to the judge to determine whether or not the child’s name change should be granted.

Changing Your Name Without a Divorce

A broken down marriage isn’t the only reason why someone might want to change their legal name. Immigrants, transgender individuals, adult children of abusive parents, and many others may want to choose a new name that represents who they are in a new phase of their lives. To change your name without a divorce, you will need to file a Petition for Change of Name (Adult) (CC-DR-60) with the family court and submit a form including:

• Your current name
• Your current address
• Any past names or aliases
• Your desired new name
• The reason for the name change
• Certification that the request is not being made for a fraudulent or illegal purpose
• A copy of your birth certificate

Once your petition is filed and the filing fee paid, you will receive a notice from the court clerk. This notice will set the deadline for anyone to object to the name change, and set a date for a hearing if required in your case. You will then have to publish that notice in a local newspaper, giving creditors and others a chance to object to any fraudulent name change attempts. If there are no objections filed by the deadline, the Court will rule on the petition and issue a name change order.

How Long After Divorce Can You Change Your Name

As mentioned above, you can include your request for a name change right in your initial divorce paperwork. However, if you decide to change your name in the divorce process, you can file a motion to amend your Judgment of Absolute Divorce within 30 days prior to the entry of the order.

Even if you miss that opportunity, you can still file a separate petition within 18 months after your Judgment of Absolute Divorce is entered. This will require a new filing fee and a possibly new court hearing, but it does not require the same publication requirements as a name change separate from a divorce action.

Divorce Name Change Checklist

Once you have an Absolute Judgment of Divorce including name change or a separate order allowing you to change your name, you can start the process of changing your identification. You will need to obtain at least one “certified copy” of the order in question, possibly more if different agencies require it. There is a small cost for each certified copy, so be sure you know how many you need before going to the court clerk.

Who to Notify

• • Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration (MVA): Maryland law requires you to obtain a new driver’s license or State ID carrying your new name within 30 days after the order for name change is entered. There is a cost to update your name with the MVA.
  • Internal revenue Service (IRS) and Maryland Taxing Authority: Your taxes must be filed under your legal name. You should send copies of your name change order to each taxing authority (including city taxes, if any) so that your Social Security Number gets associated with your new name.
  • Social Security Administration (SSA): You must inform the SSA and obtain a corrected Social Security Card. You will need to provide a certified copy of the order, two other forms of identification, and the correct name change form. You cannot do this online. Instead, you will need to mail your application to your local office or schedule an appointment to attend in person.

• Department of Vital Statistics: If you are changing a last name on a birth certificate, are concerned about paternity, or are going through a gender transition, you may need to send a copy of the order to the Department of Vital Statistics.

• Department of Social Services: If you receive state aid of any kind, you may need to go to your local DSS office and provide them a copy of your name change order.

• Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services: If you are on probation, parole, or on the Maryland sex offender registry, you will need to report your name change to DPSCS and your probation or parole officer.

• Registrar of Voters: While you do not need to provide ID when you vote, updating your name with your local voting office can make sure there’s no confusion at the polling location.

• Creditors and Lenders: Remember that name changes cannot be done to evade creditors. This means you must send a copy of your name change order to each person or company you owe money to.

• Banks, Financial Institutions, and Financial Management Companies: Because these companies issue tax documents, they need to receive notice of your legal name change. Be sure to request a new debit card and checks (if you use them) in your new name.

• • Employers: Your employer will need to issue a new W-4 and other employment documents under your new name.
  • Schools, Libraries, and Childcare Providers: If you are a parent, you should notify your child’s school, library, childcare, and other organizations of your new name.

• Doctors, Dentists, Pharmacists, Health Care Providers and Insurers: If a medical provider or your insurance company are still using your old name it may create problems with billing and payment of insurance benefits. Make sure they all have updated records.

• U.S. Postal Service (USPS): Don’t forget to update your name with the mail service to avoid having mail returned to sender.

• Utility Companies: Telephone, gas, electric, and television providers need to be notified of your new name for their records in case there are collections issues in the future.

• Family, Friends, and Professional contacts: Remember that name changes must be used consistently. This means you should update your personal contacts as well as formal business entities.
• Estate Planning Attorney: You will need to update any existing estate planning documents to use your new name. It is a good idea to review your estate plan after a divorce anyway, so you can use this opportunity to make sure everything is correct now that your spouse has been removed from the estate.

Start the Process to Change Your Name

If you are ready to start a new chapter under a new name, we are here to help. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys know how to change our clients’ names during and after finishing the Maryland divorce process. We’ll guide you through who to notify and where to send copies of your order from start to finish, making sure all the right people know your new name going forward. We will help you negotiate to change any children’s names, and make sure your name is restored as part of the Absolute Judgment of Divorce, or a separate name change order. Contact us today or call (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 to schedule a consultation with an attorney.