Blogs from July, 2024

When a marriage is ending, emotions will usually run high. However, reducing the contentiousness in your case can save you time and money that would otherwise be spent on lengthy and drawn-out litigation. By implementing certain strategies in your case, you can help to keep the fighting at a minimum, remain amicable for the benefit of your children, and work towards a low-conflict divorce.

Here are several strategies to keep in mind to minimize conflict in your divorce case:

1. Put Your Children’s Best Interests First

Regardless of how contentious your divorce is, always put the best interests of your children first and foremost. You should be sure to keep any arguing away from the children and never make disparaging remarks about your spouse to them. Negative comments will only escalate the conflict and make the divorce situation worse for the children. Children are emotionally damaged when they see their parents fight — it can also take a toll on their own self-esteem and overall emotional well-being for years to come.

2. Speak Respectfully

To keep conflict low in your divorce, it’s crucial for you and your spouse to agree to speak respectfully to each other. Even if you do not get along, approach your relationship in a business-like manner. Although it can sometimes be hard to avoid the triggers that lead to conflict, try to avoid criticisms, insults, and blame when communicating with your spouse. If necessary, set boundaries on your communications and limit discussions to email or text.

3. Know When to Take a Break

If you feel like you’re not getting anywhere when it comes to resolving the issues that need to be decided, it’s important to know when to take a break. Take some time to cool off and gather your thoughts to be sure you are able to keep your emotions in check. While it’s easy to get caught up in arguments with your spouse during a divorce, it’s essential to be able to monitor your own voice and body language — and know when to say “This isn’t a good time for us to discuss this. Let’s take a break and come back to this once we have had some time to cool down.”

4. Pick Your Battles Wisely

For a low-conflict divorce, prioritize children's needs, speak respectfully, take breaks, choose battles wisely, practice self-care, and consider mediation or collaborative methods to avoid court. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are dedicated to guiding you through the divorce process and protecting your rights every step of the way.

To have a low-conflict divorce, it’s vital to pick your battles wisely. Focus on the issues that are most important to you and be willing to compromise on others. Remember, there is no “winning” in divorce. You and your spouse should be focused on trying to reach an agreement that works best for the entire family.

5. Practice Self-Care

The tension that comes with divorce can impact your emotional and physical health. You likely feel a wide range of emotions, and conflict can often increase if you do not manage your emotions appropriately. One of the most important things you can do to have a low-conflict divorce is practice self-care. Take some time for yourself each day, whether it is to check out a museum, spend time with a pet, go to a spa, read a book, or do something else you enjoy. You should also be sure to get enough sleep each night, exercise, drink plenty of water, and eat healthy to balance your mood. This can help ensure you are able to mentally and physically cope with any divorce-related stress.

6. Consider Mediation or the Collaborative Process

Litigation isn’t the only way to end a marriage. Mediation and the collaborative process are two methods of alternative dispute resolution that can reduce conflict in your case and preserve your relationship with your spouse for the benefit of your children. With both processes, you and your spouse can stay out of the courtroom and remain in control over the outcome of your divorce, rather than let a judge who does not know you decide.

Mediation focuses on providing you with the tools you need for healthy communication and staying focused on finding tailored solutions. It uses a neutral third party called a mediator who will guide the sessions and assist the parties with reaching a compromise. Once a settlement is reached in mediation, it can be submitted to the judge to become a binding order.

In contrast, the collaborative process doesn’t involve a neutral third party. Rather, collaborative divorce uses a team of professionals who are assembled based on the issues in your case. With this process, the parties must be committed to being cooperative and low-conflict, and the professionals are also committed to those goals. If the parties refuse to work together to obtain a resolution and litigation is necessary, the lawyers for each spouse would be required to withdraw from representation, and the case would have to start again with new counsel.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Divorce Attorney

If you’re seeking a low-conflict divorce, it’s essential to have an attorney by your side who is dedicated to helping you resolve the issues in your case peacefully and respectfully. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are dedicated to guiding you through the divorce process and protecting your rights every step of the way. Trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies, we will work closely with you to find solutions that work best in your situation. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

Divorce can be a stressful, costly, and lengthy process. If you’re considering parting ways with your spouse, it’s important to understand that litigation isn’t the only option — mediation is an alternative that can allow you to divorce cost-effectively, peacefully, and amicably. However, you might be wondering what to expect in divorce mediation. In Part 1 of this blog series, we will discuss what happens during the divorce mediation process and how to decide if mediation would be a good option for you.

Step 1: The Mediator Explains the Divorce Mediation Process

While every mediator handles their sessions differently, the first step typically involves paperwork and an intake of the parties. Otherwise, you may have already received documents to sign in advance and have reviewed them with your attorney prior to meeting with the mediator. After you and your spouse review the mediation agreement and agree to the terms and fee, the mediation process can begin.

During the first mediation session, the mediator will explain what to expect in divorce mediation and may present an agenda. They will give an overview of the process. You and your spouse will introduce yourselves and provide the mediator with background information about yourselves and your case.

Step 2: The Mediator Gathers Information and Documentation

For the divorce mediation process to be successful, the mediator and spouses must have a clear picture of the facts in the case and an ability to negotiate the issues. A mediator cannot give you legal advice, but they can explain the law from a neutral standpoint so you can make an informed decision. The mediator will gather information about what issues you and your spouse may agree upon — and what topics must be discussed during mediation.

Some of the issues that may need to be addressed in the mediation process for divorce can include:

• Property, asset, and debt division
• Spousal support
• Child support
• Child custody matters

Depending on the issues that must be worked out, the mediator might request various documents or request that documents be exchanged. While the mediator does not rule on evidence like a judge would, it can be helpful to have your mediator review things like bank statements, pay stubs, school schedules, and other documentation pertaining to the issues that need to be resolved in the case.

In Part 1 of this blog series, we will discuss what to expect in divorce mediation and how to decide if mediation would be a good option for you. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we provide dedicated counsel to help you navigate the complexities of divorce, no matter what process is right for your case. Contact us to schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maryland divorce attorney.

Step 3: The Mediator Will Assist the Parties with Identifying Issues in the Case

Another stage to expect in the mediation process for divorce includes the framing stage. This is where a mediator helps each spouse outline their needs and interests and spouses will get the opportunity to communicate their concerns with one another. The mediator will guide the discussion to facilitate communication about your objectives, individual concerns, and priorities. Identifying the interests of each party helps to frame the primary goal of mediation — entering into a settlement that both spouses can accept.

You and your spouse may have shared objectives, especially when it comes to matters like child custody. A common interest can make achieving a settlement much easier. Unfortunately, it isn’t always possible to arrive at terms that fully satisfy the goals of both spouses. In such cases, compromise is necessary. Even if you and your spouse are contentious about a particular matter, a skillful mediator will be able to help you reach a mutually acceptable solution.

Step 4: Negotiations

Depending on the issues that must be resolved, only one mediation session may be needed. But usually, a few sessions are necessary to settle a divorce case. Once the issues have been framed and articulated clearly, the negotiation process will begin. Negotiations (within the context of mediation) usually begin with exploring the possible ways each issue can be settled in a divorce. With the assistance of the mediator, you and your spouse can brainstorm options until you compile a list of potential solutions — this almost always involves making concessions.

Divorce mediation is flexible. Unlike the court process, when you participate in the mediation process for divorce, you and your spouse will be able to reach creative solutions that work for the whole family. Significantly, you and your spouse are in control of the outcome with mediation, rather than the alternative - to allow a judge (who does not know you or your family) to decide the issues in your case. Mediation can allow you and your spouse to enter into creative arrangements that meet your unique circumstances, which go beyond the options available in traditional litigation.

Step 5: Drafting a Settlement Agreement

Once an agreement has been reached during the divorce mediation process, a written settlement agreement will be drafted. This agreement will address all the issues that must be decided in order to divorce and memorialize the resolutions you and your spouse reached for each issue. You and your spouse should review the document thoroughly with your respective attorneys before signing it.

Importantly, signing the settlement agreement does not finalize your divorce. The signed agreement will still need to be submitted to the court and signed by a judge to become part of the divorce decree. Once this has occurred, the agreement becomes a binding order which must be adhered to. If you or your spouse fail to follow the order, the other can bring an enforcement action in court.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Divorce Attorney

For many couples who choose to part ways, the mediation process for divorce can offer many advantages, including tailoring a resolution that fits the needs of their family and putting the best interests of their children first. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we provide dedicated counsel to help you navigate the complexities of divorce, no matter what process is right for your case. Trained in mediation, collaborative divorce, and traditional divorce, we are committed to working closely with you to achieve a solution that will accomplish your goals. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maryland divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.