Tips for Maintaining a Relationship with Your Former In-Laws

When you divorce, you don’t only part ways with your spouse — your relationship with their family may also come to an end. However, if you will be co-parenting with your ex-spouse, maintaining a relationship with your former in-laws might be important to you and your children. In some cases, remaining in contact may be essential for your children’s well-being, or even your own. Although navigating these relationships might not be easy, here are a few tips on how to deal with ex in-laws after divorce.

1. Know the Relationship Will Change

Even if you were close with your ex’s family during your marriage, expect the relationship to change. There may be more emotional distance between you and your in-laws, and you need to be realistic about your expectations. Be patient as you work to find the new normal and adjust the nature of your relationship. Focus on finding healthy ways to keep them involved in your children’s lives, such as by inviting them to birthday parties, graduations, sports games, and other events.

2. Establish and Maintain Boundaries

One of the best ways to deal with ex in-laws after divorce is to establish and maintain boundaries. Although there may still be an emotional connection between you and your ex’s family, you may need to distance yourself for your well-being. Have an open conversation to communicate your expectations for the boundaries in the relationship and ensure there are no misunderstandings. Remember, you don’t have to discuss the details of your divorce or answer any personal questions if you are not comfortable doing so.

3. Prioritize Your Children’s Best Interests

When dealing with your ex-in-laws after divorce, be sure to put your children’s best interests first. No matter how you might feel about your former in-laws, it’s vital to separate your personal feelings in order to allow your children to have a positive relationship with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. You should also avoid having any conflicts with your ex’s family in front of your children — this can be emotionally harmful to the children and make them feel like they need to pick sides. While you don’t need to remain close with your ex-in-laws, work to have a respectful and amicable relationship for the sake of your children.

4. Don’t Make Negative Comments About Your Ex to Them

Regardless of who was responsible for the marriage falling apart, you should never make negative comments about your ex to their family. This can only cause more strain in your relationship with your former in-laws and cause additional harm moving forward. While disputes between you and your ex-spouse will inevitably arise, ask your ex-in-laws to remain positive and refrain from being involved. It’s vital for everyone to show each other respect in order to honor your children’s relationship with their other parent and the other side of their family.

5. Get the Support You Need

Maintaining a relationship with your former in-laws can be emotionally challenging — and it’s crucial to get the support you need. If you were close to your in-laws during your marriage, you might be feeling hurt if they take sides with your ex. Or if your relationship with them was contentious to begin with, you may need to find ways to communicate with them in a healthy and productive manner for the benefit of your children. A therapist or counselor can assist you with working through your emotions and provide you with the tools you need to manage them.

6. Be Flexible and Willing to Adapt

Dealing with ex in-laws after a divorce isn’t always easy and it will take some effort. When it comes to dealing with your former spouse’s family, compromise and communication are key, especially if children are involved. There are no definitive rules for maintaining a relationship with your ex-in-laws and it can take some time for everyone to find a situation that works. Don’t rush the process and be as flexible as possible, while still maintaining your boundaries. Establishing new patterns and a new type of relationship won’t happen overnight — it’s critical for both parties to be open and willing to adapt.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Divorce Attorney

Dealing with your ex-in-laws after divorce can be one of the most challenging aspects of post-divorce life to navigate. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are dedicated to helping you obtain the best possible outcome in your case — and work to ensure you are prepared for the new chapter in your life. Trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies, we will work with you to find a solution that is right for your situation. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (301) 658-7354 or contact us online.