After you divorce or separate from your ex, you may be wondering how to introduce your kids to a new partner. Children often feel a wide range of complex emotions when their parents start dating new people, and it’s crucial to ensure you handle the initial introduction with care. By putting the best interests of your child first, you can help ensure a positive introduction as everyone navigates this new dynamic.

Here are some tips on how to introduce kids to a new partner:

Review Your Custody Agreement

When considering how to introduce your kids to a new partner, you should first review your custody agreement. Sometimes, parents choose to include clauses that specify the rules and timelines for introducing new partners. These types of clauses may also require notice to the other parent, prohibit overnight stays with the new partner, and set parameters for appropriate behavior in front of the children. By establishing these guidelines from the outset, you can help reduce conflict with your co-parent and provide clarity for how the meeting should be handled. You can also ensure you prioritize the best interests of your children.

Always Put Your Children First

First and foremost, always put your children first. It’s normal for children to feel a wide range of emotions when a parent starts dating someone new. You should never risk your relationship with your children for a new partner. Keep your children’s routines the same. Spend quality time with your child without your new partner to continue the same bond you’ve always had with them. When your child knows they come first, they will feel emotionally secure and be able to handle the changes more easily.

Discuss the Introduction with Your Co-Parent

Regardless of whether your custody agreement requires it, you should discuss the issue of how to introduce your kids to a new partner with your co-parent. Having this conversation can promote a healthy co-parenting relationship, prevent misunderstandings, and ensure the process goes smoothly. If your co-parent finds out about the meeting from one of your children, they may feel hurt or betrayed. Being blindsided may lead to a co-parent filing for a custody modification.

Wait Until You Are Certain You Are in a Committed Relationship

Introducing your children to a new partner too soon can lead to significant emotional stress for them. Depending on their age, they might be confused, angry, jealous, or fear that they may be replaced. On the other hand, if your relationship suddenly ends and your children have developed a strong bond with your new partner, they may face grief, sadness, anxiety, and other emotional challenges. As a general rule, it’s best to wait for the introduction until your relationship is stable and has lasted a significant amount of time. Most experts recommend waiting six to twelve months before arranging the first meeting with your children.

Talk with Your Children Before the Introduction

Know when your children are ready to meet your new partner. Don’t force the introduction. Depending upon when your divorce took place, they may still be healing. Talk with your children in an age-appropriate manner before introducing them to your new partner. Give them space to ask questions and share their feelings.

Reassure Your Children

When a new partner comes into the picture, your children may become anxious and be afraid they will lose your affection. Reassure your children that no matter what, you and your co-parent will always love them and nothing will change that. Emphasize that your new partner is not a replacement, but an addition to your lives. Let them know that any emotions they have are valid, and they can always talk with you about their feelings.

Choose a Neutral Location

When thinking about how to introduce your kids to a new partner, it’s important to choose a neutral location where everyone can be relaxed. Start with a short and casual meeting, such as at an ice cream parlor or park. For subsequent meetings, you might plan activities that your child enjoys. If your child is older, ask them where they’d like the introduction to take place. It’s best to wait until your child is comfortable with your new partner before bringing them into your home.

Consider Family Counseling

Knowing how to introduce kids to a new partner can be difficult. You may consider discussing these matters with a counselor who can help you time the introduction correctly and ensure your children’s best interests are prioritized. In addition to providing a foundation for a successful introduction, a counselor can also provide support if your children have had strong emotional reactions to your new partner. Family counseling may be a good idea to help your children manage any feelings of anxiety or insecurity they might have.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Family Law Attorney

If you are facing a child custody matter, it’s essential to have a skillful family law attorney by your side who can best advise you regarding your specific situation. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland family law attorneys provide trusted legal services for divorce and a wide range of family law issues. All of our attorneys are trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation. To schedule a confidential consultation and learn how we can help, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

From making joint decisions, coordinating schedules, and communicating effectively, co-parenting can be an emotional and logistical challenge. However, there are a number of co-parenting apps that are available to help co-parents manage communication, stay organized, and keep emotions out of the equation. These tools can provide co-parents with a neutral platform to reduce conflict and prevent misunderstandings, even in contentious child custody matters.

Some of the major benefits of using a co-parenting app to navigate your custody situation can include the following:

Help Keep Co-Parents Organized

Sharing parenting responsibilities across two different households can be difficult. Parents need to be on the same page about scheduling and child-related finances. They also need to have access to important information about the child’s education and healthcare to be able to make shared decisions.

Co-parenting apps with the following features can help reduce some of the stress that can come with trying to stay organized:

• Shared calendar: Shared calendars can help ensure both parents are kept in the loop about the child’s after-school activities, appointments, and special events. It can also ensure parents can easily track custody exchanges and parenting time.
• Expense tracking: Parents can log and track all child-related expenses to ensure fairness when splitting costs for things such as medical bills, tuition, extracurricular activities, and other costs.
• Document storage: Co-parenting apps can be used to store medical records, school records, and other documentation so that both parents can easily access the information.

Some apps also have an “info bank” that can allow for quick access to important information regarding a child’s allergies, immunizations, photos, and medical history.

Minimize the Need for Direct Communication Between Co-Parents

One of the biggest benefits of using a co-parenting app is that it minimizes the need for direct communication between parents. Not only can communicating with a co-parent through an app reduce the potential for conflict, but it can also help prevent misunderstandings. In addition, if tone is an issue in texts or emails, there are co-parenting apps available that use artificial intelligence to detect whether a message sounds too confrontational or contains hostile language.

Keep Emotions Out of Day-to-Day Custody Issues and Decision-Making

Co-parenting apps can allow parents to keep emotional distance from each other. Rather than a parent reacting in the moment to their co-parent over the phone or through text, an app can serve as a “digital buffer.” By providing a platform to structure (and limit) communication, a parent can take the time they need to craft a thoughtful response that focuses on their child, rather than on the conflict with their co-parent.

Increase Accountability for Co-Parents

By maintaining a log of all communications between co-parents, an app can help ensure each parent is held accountable for their responsibilities and actions. All activity in the co-parenting app is time-stamped and cannot be edited, reducing the potential for one parent to claim the conversation was different than the one that occurred. Some apps even provide “read” receipts to prevent ignored messages.

Create a Record for a Contentious Custody Case

Co-parenting apps can create a documented record of all communications and interactions between co-parents. These records can be used in court in the event of a custody dispute to demonstrate what was said and when. Co-parenting apps can offer crucial evidence against false claims. They can also be used to substantiate a claim. Specifically, co-parenting apps can provide an unalterable and objective record that shows either proof of compliance with the parenting plan or a parent’s violation of the custody order.

Keep a Child Out of the Middle of Parental Conflict

Co-parenting apps can facilitate direct communication between co-parents without the need for involving the child. By centralizing communication and ensuring it remains private, a co-parenting app can help keep a child from witnessing conflict between their parents. It can also prevent parents from using the child as messengers to relay information between houses, which can cause stress, anxiety, and confusion for the child.

Promote a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship

By providing a structured platform, ensuring transparency, and reducing the potential for misunderstandings that can lead to conflict, a co-parenting app can help to promote a healthy co-parenting relationship. Co-parenting apps can help encourage respect, improve communication, and create a supportive environment for a child.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Family Law Attorney

If you are facing an issue concerning child custody or parenting time, a knowledgeable family law attorney can help you find solutions and ensure the best interests of your child are met. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland family law attorneys provide compassionate counsel and reliable representation for divorce and a wide range of family law matters. All of our attorneys are trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation. To schedule a confidential consultation, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

Divorce can be hard on children — and it’s important to provide love and support to your child as they go through the period of transitioning from a two-parent home to a one-parent household. Even though you no longer live with your spouse, it’s essential to work together as co-parents to ensure your children grow up with confidence and healthy self-esteem. By implementing a few simple co-parenting strategies, you can be certain you are raising children who will be empowered, well-rounded, and independent.

Establish a Routine

Children thrive on routine — not only do routines provide structure, but they also give a child a sense of control. When children know what to expect, they can feel more secure and are better able to cope with changes. While divorce can disrupt a child’s sense of what is normal, a routine can help them feel less overwhelmed and reduce their anxiety. Work with your co-parent to establish routines for each of your households. Agree on consistent bedtimes, mealtimes, and homework schedules to minimize your child’s confusion and provide a more stable environment.

Help Your Child Develop the Skills They Need to Solve Issues on Their Own

One of the most important things you can do as co-parents to raise empowered children is teach them the skills they need to solve issues on their own. Don’t give them the answers all the time or jump to solve their problems. Encourage your child to ask questions, promote critical thinking, and provide them with opportunities for exploration through play. You and your co-parent can set a good example by modeling active listening, mutual respect, and finding amicable solutions for any conflict you might face.

Encourage Your Child to Talk About Their Emotions

Encouraging your child to talk about their feelings promotes emotional intelligence and communication skills. It also contributes to their overall well-being and allows them to develop a stronger understanding of themselves and others. When children are able to articulate their emotions, they can better express their feelings in words and are less likely to engage in disruptive or negative behavior.

Create a Supportive Environment

When raising children as co-parents, it’s crucial to create a supportive environment to help them feel empowered. Here are some tips for creating an environment that will allow your child to thrive:

• Maintain open lines of communication with your co-parent.
• Avoid speaking negatively about your co-parent.
• Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and help them navigate their emotions.
• Avoid involving your child in adult issues.
• Respect your co-parent’s boundaries.
• Focus on spending quality time with your child.
• Offer reassurance to your child that the divorce is not their fault.
• Take a unified parenting approach.
• Praise your child’s efforts and hard work, not just the results.
• Encourage your children to explore their interests and discover their passions.

When using these strategies, you can help ensure your child will face the transitional period with security and resilience to enhance their long-term well-being.

Empower Your Children with Responsibility

A key component of raising children who are empowered is teaching them responsibility. Give your child age-appropriate chores, teach them money management skills, and establish clear rules. Letting your children assist with tasks around the house can help them feel like they are making a valuable contribution. Use visual aids, such as chore checklists, to help younger children understand what is expected of them — and gradually increase your child’s responsibilities as they grow older.

Lead by Example

Children look to their parents as role models and guides. They observe how their parents do things, interact with each other, and take care of themselves. One of the best things you and your co-parent can do when raising children together is to lead by example. For instance, if you wish for your children to be kind and empathetic, demonstrate this behavior to others. If you want them to manage their emotions well, take control of your own. Be aware of how much time you spend on electronic devices if you want your children to be attentive. By showing your child good behavior and demonstrating healthy habits, you can help to instill these qualities in them as well.

Seek Professional Support When Necessary

Seeking professional support when you need it can play a critical role in raising empowered children. A therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist can help identify your child’s specific needs, whether they have learning difficulties, challenges with emotional regulation, or need assistance with developing their social skills. A professional can help parents understand the child’s perspective and provide customized interventions to prevent any issues from escalating.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Divorce and Family Law Attorney

When you are raising children with a co-parent, the best interests of your children should always come first and foremost. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce attorneys work with families to help develop tailored parenting plans and customized custody agreements that will help ensure their children's needs are met. All of our attorneys are trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation. We will work closely with you to find a strategy that will help you achieve the best possible outcome for you and your children.

To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

Tips for Maintaining a Relationship with Your Former In-Laws

When you divorce, you don’t only part ways with your spouse — your relationship with their family may also come to an end. However, if you will be co-parenting with your ex-spouse, maintaining a relationship with your former in-laws might be important to you and your children. In some cases, remaining in contact may be essential for your children’s well-being, or even your own. Although navigating these relationships might not be easy, here are a few tips on how to deal with ex in-laws after divorce.

1. Know the Relationship Will Change

Even if you were close with your ex’s family during your marriage, expect the relationship to change. There may be more emotional distance between you and your in-laws, and you need to be realistic about your expectations. Be patient as you work to find the new normal and adjust the nature of your relationship. Focus on finding healthy ways to keep them involved in your children’s lives, such as by inviting them to birthday parties, graduations, sports games, and other events.

2. Establish and Maintain Boundaries

One of the best ways to deal with ex in-laws after divorce is to establish and maintain boundaries. Although there may still be an emotional connection between you and your ex’s family, you may need to distance yourself for your well-being. Have an open conversation to communicate your expectations for the boundaries in the relationship and ensure there are no misunderstandings. Remember, you don’t have to discuss the details of your divorce or answer any personal questions if you are not comfortable doing so.

3. Prioritize Your Children’s Best Interests

Dealing with your ex-in-laws after divorce can be one of the most challenging aspects of post-divorce life to navigate. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are committed to assisting you in achieving the best results for your case and preparing you for the next phase of your life. Contact us for a confidential consultation with a divorce attorney.

When dealing with your ex-in-laws after divorce, be sure to put your children’s best interests first. No matter how you might feel about your former in-laws, it’s vital to separate your personal feelings in order to allow your children to have a positive relationship with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. You should also avoid having any conflicts with your ex’s family in front of your children — this can be emotionally harmful to the children and make them feel like they need to pick sides. While you don’t need to remain close with your ex-in-laws, work to have a respectful and amicable relationship for the sake of your children.

4. Don’t Make Negative Comments About Your Ex to Them

Regardless of who was responsible for the marriage falling apart, you should never make negative comments about your ex to their family. This can only cause more strain in your relationship with your former in-laws and cause additional harm moving forward. While disputes between you and your ex-spouse will inevitably arise, ask your ex-in-laws to remain positive and refrain from being involved. It’s vital for everyone to show each other respect in order to honor your children’s relationship with their other parent and the other side of their family.

5. Get the Support You Need

Maintaining a relationship with your former in-laws can be emotionally challenging — and it’s crucial to get the support you need. If you were close to your in-laws during your marriage, you might be feeling hurt if they take sides with your ex. Or if your relationship with them was contentious to begin with, you may need to find ways to communicate with them in a healthy and productive manner for the benefit of your children. A therapist or counselor can assist you with working through your emotions and provide you with the tools you need to manage them.

6. Be Flexible and Willing to Adapt

Dealing with ex in-laws after a divorce isn’t always easy and it will take some effort. When it comes to dealing with your former spouse’s family, compromise and communication are key, especially if children are involved. There are no definitive rules for maintaining a relationship with your ex-in-laws and it can take some time for everyone to find a situation that works. Don’t rush the process and be as flexible as possible, while still maintaining your boundaries. Establishing new patterns and a new type of relationship won’t happen overnight — it’s critical for both parties to be open and willing to adapt.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Divorce Attorney

Dealing with your ex-in-laws after divorce can be one of the most challenging aspects of post-divorce life to navigate. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are dedicated to helping you obtain the best possible outcome in your case — and work to ensure you are prepared for the new chapter in your life. Trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies, we will work with you to find a solution that is right for your situation. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

Alimony

Child Support

Collaborative Law

LGBTQ+ Family Law

Custody

Parental Relocation

Divorce

Post-Divorce Modifications

High Asset Divorce

Domestic Violence and Protective Orders

Marital Property

Mediation

Mutual Consent Divorce

Prenuptial Agreement

Separation Agreement

Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, LLC

8161 Maple Lawn Boulevard, Suite 330

Phone: (240) 652-2596

Fax: (240) 652-2596

Email:

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How to Communicate with Your Spouse During Divorce: Building Bridges, Not Walls

The way you communicate with your spouse during divorce can have a lasting effect on your relationship moving forward. Effective communication can help to streamline the divorce process and minimize the amount of time you spend in court. It can also be particularly important to maintain amicable relations if you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse share children together. Not only can children pick up on your emotions as you go through the process of ending your marriage, but it can be beneficial for them to see their parents communicate respectfully with one another once the divorce has been finalized.

Here are some tips on how to communicate with your spouse during divorce, and after:

1. Be Respectful When Communicating

When communicating with your spouse during divorce, avoid name-calling, sarcasm, belittling, and other negative forms of communication. Practice active listening and maintain a composed demeanor when speaking with your spouse — or emailing and texting them. If you are feeling emotional, it’s ok to tell your spouse you need to take a break from the communication. It’s better to pick up a conversation later, once you’ve calmed down, rather than allow your emotions to get the better of you.

2. Think it Through Before Responding

As you prepare for divorce, emotions can run high. Before you respond to any communications from your spouse, think it through. Give yourself an appropriate amount of time before sending an email, text, or returning a phone call. It’s better to give yourself time to cool off, rather than respond in the heat of the moment and say something you will regret. Written communications (even informal text messages and emails) can be used as evidence in Court, so you should always respond in a business-like manner.

3. Stay Focused on the Issues at Hand

Couples have specific reasons for getting divorced, even when both spouses agree to part ways. When you are communicating with your spouse, it’s important to stick to the topic at hand. It can be all too easy to lose focus and talk about everything that went wrong in the marriage. For instance, if the subject concerns who will pick up the children from school, only discuss that — regardless of whether your spouse tries to bring up hurtful issues from the past.

4. Set Clear Boundaries

Understanding how to communicate with your spouse during divorce also means creating boundaries. It’s important to set healthy boundaries with your ex-spouse during the divorce process and moving forward, especially if you will be co-parenting together. Boundaries are crucial for your emotional well-being and can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed. Whether they involve the need for space, social media use, mutual friends, or communication, be straightforward when establishing boundaries with your spouse to avoid misunderstandings.

5. Know When to Say “No”

Understanding how to communicate effectively with your spouse throughout a divorce can be difficult. However, using these communication tips along with a compassionate and reliable divorce attorney can help make the process of ending your marriage easier. Our Maple Lawn, Maryland divorce lawyers are committed to helping you obtain the best possible outcome in your case.

Knowing how to communicate with your spouse during divorce also means knowing when to say no. If your ex ignores your boundaries or sends you negative messages, it’s ok to limit your communication with them. Make rules for communication and let your spouse know that you will not respond to any harassing emails or angry texts that don’t have to do with custody matters or other specific issues that must be addressed. If you establish a boundary - be sure to maintain it.

6. Consider Using a Co-Parenting App

If you and your spouse cannot respectfully communicate about your children without arguing, it may be beneficial to use a co-parenting app. This can help you communicate about school events, extracurricular activities, medical appointments, and other issues that everyone needs to be on the same page about. In addition, the messaging capabilities offered by these apps can often be more effective than emailing or texting — some even provide functions that prevent you from sending messages using negative language.

7. Don’t Make Disparaging Remarks About Your Spouse in Front of the Children

Making disparaging remarks about your spouse in front of your children doesn’t hurt your spouse — it hurts your children and your relationship with them. By saying bad things about your ex to your children, you can hurt their self-esteem and make them feel like they need to take sides. If the bad mouthing is severe enough, your ex could make the argument of parental alienation to the court and your custody case could be harmed.

8. Develop Healthy Communication Skills

If you don’t know how to communicate with your spouse during divorce, the mediation process can provide you with the tools you need. Often, mediation helps spouses develop the necessary skills for respectful communication not only as they go through the divorce process, but also as they work together as co-parents. Mediation can also be useful in eliminating any hostility, conflict, and contentiousness between spouses during divorce to ensure their next chapter as co-parents will be successful.

Contact an Experienced Maryland Divorce Attorney

Knowing how to communicate with your spouse during divorce can be a challenge. However, a compassionate and reliable divorce attorney can help make the process of ending your marriage easier. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are committed to helping you obtain the best possible outcome in your case. Trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies, we will work with you to find a solution that is right for your situation. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

Alimony

Child Support

Collaborative Law

LGBTQ+ Family Law

Custody

Parental Relocation

Divorce

Post-Divorce Modifications

High Asset Divorce

Domestic Violence and Protective Orders

Marital Property

Mediation

Mutual Consent Divorce

Prenuptial Agreement

Separation Agreement

Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, LLC

8161 Maple Lawn Boulevard, Suite 330

Phone: (240) 652-2596

Fax: (240) 652-2596

Email:

© 2026 Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, LLC
View Our Disclaimer | Privacy Policy
Law Firm Website Design by The Modern Firm
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We Are Getting Engaged! Should We Sign a Prenup?

The holiday season can lead to wedding bells for a lot of Maryland couples. Christmas, New Year, and Valentine’s Day are some of the most popular times of year for couples to get engaged. If your fiance “popped the question” or you have decided to take your relationship to the next level, you may have questions about how this can affect your financial future, including the question -should we sign a prenup?

What is a Prenup?

“Prenup” is short for prenuptial agreement (also called a premarital agreement or antenuptial agreement). It is a contract entered into by an engaged couple “in consideration of” their future marriage. The terms of a prenup can:

• Lay out a plan for family finances, including household assets and liabilities during the marriage
• Resolve issues of alimony and property division in the event of divorce
• Guide estate planning and administration of either spouse’s affairs after their death

Most often, a prenup will describe the assets and liabilities each spouse will bring to the marriage, and determine whether those assets will be considered marital or separate property going forward. Marital property can be divided by the courts during divorce, and often passes to the surviving spouse upon death. Separate property is held individually, and will generally be excluded from any property division as a result of divorce. Separate property, as determined by a prenup, can also be left to children or other beneficiaries free of any claim from a surviving spouse.

Is a Prenup Necessary?

The romantic rush following a marriage proposal doesn’t easily lend itself to legal questions and property discussions, which can often feel like “divorce planning.” Many couples get married without giving any consideration to whether or not they should sign a prenup. If you and your partner are young adults without many assets, that may be appropriate, since it is likely that your wealth accumulation will be a result of shared effort during the marriage. However, there are several reasons why a prenup can serve as a useful financial planning tool, including to:

Prenups can be a tool to build better relationships now and an opportunity to protect your interests and those of your children now and in the future. We can help you negotiate the terms of your prenuptial agreement and go through all the appropriate steps to make sure that the contract will be honored in the future. Contact us to schedule a consultation.

• Shield assets owned individually, prior to the marriage
• Protect shares in a closely-held business or family trust
• Provide for children from prior relationships
• Guide future estate planning
• Opt out of certain Maryland divorce and intestate succession laws that would otherwise apply by default upon marriage

The more complicated your family history or financial portfolio is at the time of your marriage, the more likely it is that both you and your spouse would benefit from entering into a prenuptial agreement and having the planning discussions that entering into such an agreement entails - before you walk down the aisle.

Who Should Sign a Prenuptial Agreement?

Many people don’t like the idea of entering into a prenup, because they think it will increase the likelihood of divorce and also sends a message to their future partner that they don’t want to work together as a financial unit in the future. Obviously, a long and happy marriage is always the goal. The process of creating a prenuptial agreement and the open and honest financial disclosures that the negotiation of a prenuptial agreement will require, can actually establish a helpful pattern of open financial communication early in your relationship. To prepare and sign a prenup is not a divorce backup plan, instead it is a planning tool that will require you to make affirmative decisions to share assets and wealth that is accumulated in the future. If you want to share, a creative prenuptial agreement can describe the exact way that finances (assets and debts) will occur during your marriage and in the event of death or divorce. In the absence of a prenuptial agreement, there is uncertainty as to sharing and default state laws will apply.

A lot of people assume that prenuptial agreements are only beneficial for wealthy people with considerable assets. It’s true that high-net-worth couples have more assets to protect and may get more benefit from a carefully negotiated premarital agreement. However, many couples can benefit and you may have much more in the future than you have now, including:

• Parents of children from prior relationships
• Future homemakers and stay-at-home parents giving up careers to support a family
• Business owners whose partnership agreements contain forced buy-back provisions
• People with difficult family histories or estranged relatives
• Individuals who want to reduce conflict and keep control over their assets during the marriage, but also in the event of death or divorce

If you or your spouse fit into any of these categories, it’s a good idea to talk to a Maryland family law attorney now to see if you could benefit from signing a prenuptial agreement.

What to Know Before You Sign a Prenup

One thing most people don’t realize about premarital agreements is that there must be certain advance asset disclosures and the creation of a thoughtful, future looking financial planning document takes time. There are many stories of last-minute prenups signed on the church steps in the hours before the wedding. This is not the way to go. If a person does not have time to consider and negotiate the terms of a prenuptial agreement, that lack of time could serve as a basis to challenge the validity of the agreement once signed.

In Maryland, in order for a premarital agreement to be enforceable, it must avoid “overreaching” and can not be unfair or inequitable in either its terms or how the contract was signed. Both parties must sign the document “freely and understandingly.” The best way to ensure your prenup will be honored is to:

• Have frank discussions with your fiance about financial expectations and the reasons why a prenup can serve this purpose (these conversations can be had with the help of a marital counselor or religious leader)
• Hire separate attorneys to represent each party, explain their rights under Maryland divorce and estate law, and negotiate the terms of the agreement
• Disclose and document the estimated value of each party’s real, personal, and business property, earnings, and pre-marital debts
• Make sure the benefit either party receives from the Agreement is reasonable consideration for the rights each party is waiving
• Account for the unexpected, including either spouse’s future inability to work
• Make additional information about assets available when asked
• Provide the document to your fiance and their attorney as far in advance of the wedding as possible, so there is time for negotiations and revisions (months, not weeks)
• Consider your agreement to be a “living” document and active financial planning tool for your marriage. Don’t put it in the filing cabinet and forget about it.

It can, and often should, take multiple drafts of a prenuptial agreement to make sure everything is covered, all the appropriate information has been disclosed, and both spouses’ interests are honored. If you are wondering if you are a good candidate for a prenup, you should speak with a Maryland family law attorney soon after you are engaged to gather information and start the process - long before the other stressors of wedding planning might otherwise interfere.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our family law attorneys want to help you decide whether you should sign a prenup, and ensure your interests are protected if you do. We treat prenuptial agreements as a tool to build better relationships now and an opportunity to protect our clients’ interests and those of their children now and in the future. We can help you negotiate the terms of your prenuptial agreement and go through all the appropriate steps to make sure that the contract will be honored in the future. If you are getting married, or have received a draft prenuptial agreement from your fiance, call (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

Alimony

Child Support

Collaborative Law

LGBTQ+ Family Law

Custody

Parental Relocation

Divorce

Post-Divorce Modifications

High Asset Divorce

Domestic Violence and Protective Orders

Marital Property

Mediation

Mutual Consent Divorce

Prenuptial Agreement

Separation Agreement

Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, LLC

8161 Maple Lawn Boulevard, Suite 330

Phone: (240) 652-2596

Fax: (240) 652-2596

Email:

© 2026 Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, LLC
View Our Disclaimer | Privacy Policy
Law Firm Website Design by The Modern Firm
Maryland Family Law Attorney

The days leading up to the start of a divorce can be fraught with anxiety, anger, and frustration. The conflict that often comes at the end of a marriage can take all your energy, leaving little bandwidth to develop a plan or strategize available options. Other times, the news that a wife or husband wants a divorce can be a surprise. Knowing the things you should do after a spouse asks for divorce can help you work through your feelings and choose the right Maryland divorce process for you and your family.

What to Do When Your Spouse Asks for Divorce

When your spouse tells you they want a divorce, that declaration will set in motion a variety of emotional, practical, and financial changes for both parties. You need to respond thoughtfully on each level to protect yourself, and your children, and to maintain the degree of relationship you choose with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse.

1. Take Time to Process Your Feelings

Finding out your spouse wants a divorce will likely be hurtful, even if both of you are committed to reducing conflict. If your spouse asking for a divorce leaves you in a state of intense emotion or shock, take the time immediately to treat yourself well through self-care. Depending on when and how you find out that your spouse would like to end your marriage, you may need to leave work, cancel plans, or even get a baby-sitter, so that you can have time alone to process the emotional and financial implications of what you’ve heard.

As you work to process the pending divorce, expect to feel grief, anger, guilt, and even fear about the uncertain future. These emotional responses are normal and will continue to arise throughout, and even after, the divorce process is complete. When these feelings arise, take a step away, breathe, and give yourself space before returning to your deliberations. We often recommend seeing a therapist during these difficult times so that you have a confidential space to work through your emotions rather than funnel them back into your divorce. It is important to remember that the communications that you have with friends and family members – your informal support system – are not confidential or privileged and could be used against you in court.

2. Understand Your Spouse’s Reasons for Asking for a Divorce

Take the time to listen to your spouse and get a clear picture of why they want a divorce. This conversation could include a discussion of possible reconciliation, and also allow you to gauge their interest in pursuing non-adversarial divorce options like mediation or collaboration. In certain cases, a family therapist or couples counselor may help to either heal the marriage or reduce the conflict within the divorce.

On the other hand, if your spouse is motivated by anger or is acting on a belief that you have wronged them, it may be wiser to prepare for litigation from the start. As much as it may hurt to listen to your spouse’s complaints, the information will make it easier for you and your divorce attorney to plan trial strategy and address perceived concerns as the divorce process progresses.

3. Talk to a Maryland Divorce Attorney

Do not wait for your spouse to file divorce paperwork to talk to a Maryland divorce attorney. Speaking to an attorney who offers both divorce litigation and collaborative law services early in the process of separating can help you choose the best divorce process for your family. An attorney can lay out the pros and cons of the various process options, and help you consider whether to pursue litigation or viable out-of-court collaborative options.

In addition, under the new Maryland divorce laws, you must live separate and apart from your spouse for 6 months (physical separation is no longer required); describe irreconcilable differences in the complaint, or fit into certain permanent physical or mental health situations, before you can file for divorce. Until recently, that 6-month separation period was even longer and you were not permitted to sleep under the same room for even one night during the separation period! What all of this means is that in many cases, you may want to negotiate a Settlement Agreement that controls issues like temporary child custody, visitation, and support before asking the Courts to intervene. An agreement reached between you and your spouse can create a predictable schedule and set the status quo that will carry you through the divorce process. When you can take some of the uncertainty out of the divorce process and ensure that both you and your children will be provided for in the future - it may help your children maintain a close relationship with you and your spouse. An agreement on parenting and all other issues is also likely to make it easier for you and your spouse to work together for co-parenting in the future.

4. Talk with Your Children

Telling your children after your spouse asks for divorce is a delicate thing. Depending on their ages and relationships with both parents, you may find that they are confused, scared, angry with you, or even blame you for the divorce. However, there are ways to reduce the emotional impact of divorce on your children.

In the best circumstances, both parents should tell the children about the divorce together, without assessing blame. It is often preferable to defer telling the children about the divorce until you have made a plan for physical separation, where they will live, and the access schedule they will follow in their new homes. In high-conflict divorces, conversations with the children must sometimes happen with each parent separately. However, whether the conversation with your children is had together or separately, you should avoid casting blame on your spouse or making your children feel like they need to choose between parents. It is also a good idea to tell your children as soon as possible, so that they have time to process their own emotions about divorce and you and your spouse have the ability to answer any questions they may have.

5. Step Back from Social Media

It is very tempting, after your spouse asks for divorce, to complain about it to your friends on social media. Remember - the internet is forever and it is best to get the support you need from family and friends offline. Nothing is truly private on social media. Even restricted posts can be captured and shared with your spouse or children. In addition, your spouse may be able to obtain your posts – even the private ones – by sending a subpoena to the company running the social media platform. This could hurt you if your divorce case goes to trial because it could show that you are disparaging your spouse. Ideally, you may want to limit your social media activity while your divorce is pending. If you feel isolated or unable to refrain from social media, at a minimum you should commit to never discussing your spouse, your children, or your divorce online.

6. Get Your Financial Matters in Order

Except in cases with a prenuptial agreement signed prior to the marriage or a postnuptial agreement signed afterwards, divorce is likely to involve a financial separation. When you physically separate from your spouse (especially if you are the one moving out), it can also separate you from important financial information. After your spouse asks for divorce, you need to make sure you have physical or digital copies of statements for each of your bank, credit, and retirement accounts, as well as any tax returns that were filed during the marriage. Otherwise it may be expensive to get them later.

Once you have separated, be certain to monitor your credit too. Sometimes, spouses may take out new loans or stop paying existing debts, which can hurt your credit score. It is not uncommon for a person to think a debt or liability is joint when it isn’t or vice versa. Once you and your spouse have agreed on the division of financial assets, you may also want to close joint accounts and transfer funds into your name only. However, it is best to make financial moves by agreement or as part of a calculated strategy. It is important to speak with an attorney about the timing of financial changes to avoid claims that you are hiding assets.

7. Educate Yourself About the Maryland Divorce Process

It is important for you to understand how the Maryland divorce process works and how long it takes to prepare, file, and complete the divorce. The timeline for the process can vary depending on the level of conflict and circumstances in your case. Your divorce attorney should explain the process options to you and help you develop your priorities and goals based upon the timeline and costs with a goal to help you prepare emotionally and financially.

Responding to Surprise Divorce Documents

In some cases, the first notice you receive that your spouse wants a divorce is when you are formally served with the divorce complaint. While the above steps still apply, surprise divorce filings put you on a tight timeline that can make it hard to handle the emotional aspects of divorce and comply with filing deadlines. If you live in Maryland and are served with divorce paperwork filed here, you will need to file an answer and perhaps also a counter-complaint for divorce within 30 days after being served, 60 days if you were served out-of-state, or 90 days if you were served internationally. In this situation, you should contact a Maryland divorce attorney as soon as you are served with divorce paperwork from the Court.

Being unexpectedly served with divorce papers leaves you with considerably less time to process your emotions and formulate a response. In such instances, when divorce documents have already been officially filed and there's no prior agreement, you'll find yourself needing to navigate the emotional aspect of this situation, ideally with the guidance of a therapist, while concurrently your attorney is diligently preparing your response and building your case.

Get Your Maryland Divorce Process Started Today

If your spouse asks you for a divorce, or if you have been served with divorce paperwork, we are here to help. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our divorce attorneys know how to respond when your spouse asks for a divorce. We can guide you through the Maryland divorce process from start to finish, giving you the options and the knowledge you need to resolve your marriage quickly and on your terms. You don’t have to go through your divorce alone. We will help you through the process. Contact us today or call (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

If you and your spouse are ready to take a break, you may be interested in how to separate in a healthy way and reduce conflict. Here are some tips that can help you move toward a healthy separation so you can protect yourself and your children from conflict and grief.

1. Understand the Process of Separation from Marriage

Couples separate for multiple reasons. Sometimes not living together can make it easier to repair your relationship through couples counseling. However, when the relationship has truly ended, moving out is the first step in the process of separation from marriage. Because divorce is a legal process it is important to know what is expected of you before you begin. There is no legal separation in Maryland. In addition, the laws about separation prior to divorce are changing as of October 2023.

Under the new law, couples will need to “pursue separate lives” and live “separate and apart” from one another for at least 6 months before filing a complaint for divorce. (This is decreased from one year under the current law.) While the new law no longer requires you and your spouse to maintain separate households, it should be clear that the relationship is over. Once that 6 months has expired, or you and your spouse have agreed on a Mutual Consent Divorce, you can file your complaint and ask a Maryland family court judge to end your marriage.

2. Make a Plan for Finances and Children During Separation

Separation and divorce often mean transitioning from a two-income, two-parent household to supporting yourself and your children as a single parent, at least part of the time. This is a big change that may make it difficult or even impossible to maintain your current standard of living. Before you start packing, make a budget that covers all your expenses during separation. You can use that budget to negotiate a separation agreement that includes temporary alimony and child support to provide for your family until you can finalize your divorce.

Your children need stability during separation too. You can reduce the negative effect of divorce on your children simply by making a plan with your spouse about their custody and visitation ahead of time. That way your children will know neither parent is abandoning them. Establishing a consistent schedule will make it easier for them – and you – to remember and predict when they will spend time with each parent.

3. Be Respectful and Considerate to Promote Healthy Separation

There is a reason you are separating from your spouse. No one expects you to be their best friend. However, treating one another with respect and consideration can go a long way to a healthy separation, and a low-conflict divorce.

Many people are successful in treating their former spouse like a business partner in the shared venture of raising children, selling their home, or dividing up their property. By using professionalism as a guide to interactions with your spouse, you can keep from aggravating those emotional issues that caused you to separate in the first place. In addition, it will model appropriate behavior for your children and let them know it is okay for them to still love both their parents.

4. Establish Boundaries During Separation

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we know how important a healthy separation is to resolving your marriage with respect. If your goal is to minimize conflict in your separation and divorce, we will meet with you and help you create a plan for your separation and choose the right process for your divorce. If you have a legal need and would like to speak with an attorney, please call us to schedule a consultation.

Separation and divorce are emotionally difficult, even in low-conflict families. The way your spouse communicates with you or attempts to be involved in your life during separation can “trigger” your emotions. You may get angry or upset, and this can cause you to lash out at them or in the presence of your children.

One way to prevent this is to establish boundaries between you and your spouse:

• Will you visit one another or make any efforts to reconcile during your separation?
• Will you attend couples counseling or marriage counseling together?
• How will you and your children celebrate holidays?
• What issues are off-limits? (For example, did they get to know that you have started dating?)
• What is the best method for communication? (Phone calls, text messages, emails? Be sure never to pass messages through your children.)
• Are there exceptions for emergencies?
• How quickly do you expect to respond and receive responses to messages? (12 hours? 24 hours? Be sure to leave yourself time to process your emotions before responding.)
• Can either spouse call a “time out” if discussions get heated? If so, how will discussions resume?
• What topics are better directed at your divorce attorney?

Clearly establishing and communicating your boundaries during separation can help you maintain emotional distance from your spouse and prevent emotional spikes.

5. Keep Communication Lines Open During Separation

While you want to establish healthy boundaries, don’t let that “good fence” turn into a stone wall. It is often tempting to shut your spouse out during separation and focus on yourself and your needs. However, if you have children in common or are still trying to resolve property issues for your upcoming divorce, a lack of communication will often work against you. At a minimum it will slow down the resolution of your marriage and raise attorney fees. In more severe cases, refusing to communicate with a co-parent can work against you when you eventually ask your Maryland family law judge to resolve issues of child custody and visitation.

6. Choose Collaborative Divorce for Finalizing Separation Agreements

If you and your spouse agree to prioritize a healthy separation, one way to put that commitment into action is through the Collaborative Divorce process. Collaborative law is an out-of-court divorce option that prioritizes mutual respect and dispute resolution. It allows you and your spouse to work with professionals, including your own collaborative divorce attorneys, a divorce coach, therapists, financial advisors, and others, to create a plan for your separation and subsequent divorce. Those who use Collaborative Divorce to finalize their separation agreements often find that the solution they reach is more tailored to their needs, and more durable in the face of future changes than a court-ordered divorce and custody order entered after an adversarial trial or hearing.

7. Get Help Coping with Separation and Divorce

One of the best tips for a healthy separation is “don’t do it alone!” Ending a long-term relationship is hard and you will face emotional and practical struggles as you go through the process. It is best if you build a support team to help you including:

• Trusted friends and family members
• Confidantes
• Child-care providers (if you have young children)
• Divorce coaches or therapists
• Divorce attorney

Knowing who to go to for comfort and who to listen to for advice is a key part of healthy separation and divorce. While friends and family members can be a great shoulder to cry on, you should always work with an experienced Maryland separation and divorce lawyer and listen to their advice to negotiate your separation agreement and prepare yourself for life as a divorced person.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we know how important a healthy separation is to resolving your marriage with respect. If your goal is to minimize conflict in your separation and divorce, we will meet with you and help you create a plan for your separation and choose the right process for your divorce. If you have a legal need and would like to speak with an attorney, please call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us through our website to schedule a consultation. We look forward to working with you.

The number of people choosing to live together without going through a formal marriage is rising every year. But non-marriage alternatives like civil unions and domestic partnership are imperfect replacements for a legal marriage. Before you decide to skip filing a marriage license, be sure you understand the property problems presented by civil unions and domestic partnerships in Maryland.

Who Can Get Married in Maryland?

In Maryland, two individuals can be legally married if they:

• Are both 18 years old or older (a 16 or 17 year old can be married with parental consent and/or proof of pregnancy)
• Are not married to anyone else
• Are not too closely related to one another
• Obtain a marriage license in the county where the wedding will be performed
• Wait at least 24 hours after obtaining the marriage license (but not more than 6 months)

Same-sex marriage has been legal in Maryland since 2012, when the state passed the Civil Marriage Protection Act, changing Maryland law to allow “a marriage between two individuals” rather than between a man and a woman.

What are Domestic Partnerships

Before you decide to skip the marriage license, we invite you to speak with a Maryland family lawyer to learn more about unique issues often encountered when ending a domestic partnership, and how we can help you create a contract to avoid them.

Maryland law also allows couples to enter into a domestic partnership, as an alternative to marriage. The domestic partnership law was created in 2008, and it creates a committed relationship between two people who live together but are not married. It forms a kind of domestic contract where the domestic partners agree to depend on each other and contribute to the maintenance and support of one another and the relationship. It is formed by signing an affidavit together and providing proof of cohabitation and mutual support.

The best proof of intent to form a domestic partnership is a domestic partnership agreement. This is a contract signed by both partners, laying out how they intend to share finances and assets, and to work together to form a single household. It also includes provisions for what they want to happen if the partnership breaks down or one partner dies. (However, separate estate planning documents must be signed to actually convey property to the domestic partner).

Domestic partners are entitled to many of the same benefits as spouses, including the ability to:

• Visit each other in jails and hospitals
• Share a room in a nursing home
• Make funeral and burial decisions for one another
• Transfer the couple’s primary residence between partners tax-free
• Assert certain housing rights

Domestic partners may also get married to one another without first terminating the domestic partnership.

Can You Get a Civil Union in Maryland?

There is no law allowing Maryland residents to enter a civil union. Domestic partnerships fill this role. However, Maryland will recognize a civil union entered under another state’s laws. Maryland family courts will also dissolve a civil union entered in another state in a divorce action, with some limitations.

Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions Raise Property Problems in Maryland

Domestic partnerships allow unmarried couples to share finances and raise children together, but they don’t provide all the same protections as legal marriage. The same is true for civil unions. This can create problems dividing property when these non-marriage relationships break down.

In a divorce, Maryland residents are entitled to an equitable division of all marital property, including houses, vehicles, bank accounts, personal property, business interests, and retirement assets. This applies no matter whose name the property is held under. Unlike married couples, domestic partners’ rights to jointly titled real property is defined by how that property is titled. One domestic partner is not automatically entitled to an equitable division of property accumulated by the other partner during the domestic partnership. The same is true to members of a civil union.

Similarly, married couples can transfer assets back and forth between them without any tax consequences. While Maryland domestic partnership law applies this same rule to a domestic partnership’s primary residence (as long as it is titled to both partners as joint tenants), other property, including vehicles, rental properties, or retirement assets, could come with tax consequences when those properties are divided.

Finally, the division of a domestic partnership’s assets is generally governed by the couple’s agreement. While some couples enter formal domestic partnership agreements, many do not. Without that contract, domestic partners can lose out on many of the property rights they would have had simply by filing a marriage license instead of a domestic partnership affidavit.

There are many good reasons to choose a domestic partnership over a legal marriage. However, you should know your rights – and what rights you are giving up – before making that choice. A well-drafted domestic partnership agreement can give committed life partners many of the same rights as married couples, particularly when paired with Maryland’s domestic partnership laws. Before you decide to skip the marriage license, speak with a Maryland family lawyer to learn more about the property problems in domestic partnerships, and how you can create a contract to avoid them.

Property division can be challenging in a traditional marriage. A domestic partnership makes many of those problems even harder. If you are considering entering a domestic partnership and need an attorney to prepare an agreement, or if you signed a domestic partnership affidavit and now that relationship has broken down, we can help. The Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram is able to help you reach a resolution that works for your family. Call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us here to schedule a consultation at our Howard County family law firm located in the Maple Lawn business district of Fulton, Maryland. We look forward to working with you.