Collaborative

Even if a couple agrees to part ways, divorce can be overwhelming. There are many issues that must be determined before a judge will sign the final divorce decree, including those involving finances and asset division. One of the ways spouses can reduce the emotional stress and financial burden of the division of property in divorce is by using the collaborative divorce process.

In Part 1 of this blog series, we discussed the collaborative process as an alternative to litigation in the courtroom — and how it works. In Part 2, we will cover how this form of alternative dispute resolution can be used to address financial matters and divide property.

Understanding the Role of a Financial Neutral in Collaborative Divorce

Division of property and assets is one of the most contentious — and complex — issues couples face in divorce. Dividing assets may have tax implications, and certain types of property might need to be appraised to ensure it is valued correctly. There may also be business interests at stake, real estate to divide, and property that must be traced. When spouses use the collaborative divorce process, financial experts can be brought in as part of the collaborative team to help ensure both parties receive a fair distribution of marital property.

Depending on the issues in the case, a variety of financial neutrals can play a critical role in helping spouses reach an equitable outcome. A collaborative team may include the following financial neutrals:

• Appraisers — An appraiser can provide a professional opinion concerning the value of a property. This is critical when it comes to determining how each asset should be divided.
• Financial advisor — A financial advisor can offer guidance regarding asset division during divorce and help the spouses create post-divorce budgets.
• Accountant — An accountant can explain the tax implications of property division and suggest ways to split assets that will reduce the tax consequences.
• Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) — A CDFA has special training to help spouses navigate the complexities of addressing financial matters during divorce. They can assist with asset valuation, equitable distribution, and financial planning after the divorce has been finalized.

It’s important to understand that financial neutrals in a collaborative divorce work for both parties. They do not act as either spouse’s representative or take sides. They also cannot have worked for either party in the past. Ultimately, their role is to guide the parties in considering their options and reaching an agreement without controlling the outcome or rendering any decisions.

Key Considerations When Dividing Assets in Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce offers a cost-effective, confidential approach to property division, reducing emotional and financial stress for both parties. Learn how it can make the divorce process smoother with tailored guidance from the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram.

There are many complex assets that can come into play in a divorce. Significantly, the key to successful division of property in a collaborative divorce is open communication between spouses. The goal is not to “win,” but to reach a satisfactory outcome for both spouses.

The collaborative process can help ensure that certain types of property with unique considerations are handled in a way the spouses deem fair. For example, spouses who own a business together can work with financial neutrals to determine its value and the best course of action to take. Similarly, if spouses own real estate together, a financial neutral can guide them to reach a decision concerning what they will do with the property. Through open and honest discussion, spouses can also reach an amicable resolution to the issue of the division of retirement accounts and pension plans that are considered marital property.

Notably, spouses often reach creative solutions with the help of financial neutrals for property division matters that would not otherwise be achieved in litigation.

How is Property Divided in Collaborative Divorce?

After all assets have been identified and valued, and tax implications have been considered, the spouses can negotiate a settlement. When the collaborative divorce process is used, the parties will work together and compromise to find a solution that meets their objectives. Each spouse should create a list of assets that they consider a priority to have a starting point for negotiations. Spouses might also consider trading assets — in these instances, the parties would negotiate a settlement where one party keeps assets that are important to them, while trading property that is of a similar value.

Other options spouses may consider when it comes to the division of property in a collaborative divorce can include selling or co-owning certain assets. If an asset cannot be physically divided and the parties agree, it may be possible to sell it and divide the proceeds between them. In other cases, such as those involving investment properties or vacation homes, spouses might agree that each party should retain a percentage of the asset.

Once the issue of property division has been settled, a formal agreement outlining the terms of the division of property (and all other matters that were determined during the collaborative process) must be signed by both parties and submitted to the judge. Once the judge signs this document, it becomes a binding order that both parties must follow.

Learn More About the Division of Property Using the Collaborative Divorce Process

The collaborative divorce process has many benefits, including confidentiality, cost-effectiveness, and efficiency. If you would like to learn more about using the collaborative divorce process and how it can be helpful to divide your marital property, a knowledgeable divorce attorney can discuss whether it is right for your specific case. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are dedicated to helping clients find tailored solutions for their specific situations.

Contact Us for a Consultation

Trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies, at the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we will help you reach an amicable resolution to your divorce matter. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

Divorce can often be challenging, emotionally overwhelming, and stressful. However, it’s important to understand that litigation in the courtroom isn’t the only way to divorce in Maryland. The collaborative divorce process is an alternative dispute resolution method that allows couples to part ways amicably and cost-effectively — while deciding the outcome of their case between themselves. In Part 1 of this two-part blog series discussing collaborative divorce, we will explain what the collaborative process is, how it works, and the benefits it offers.

What is the Collaborative Divorce Process?

The collaborative divorce process is a method that can be used to divorce without involving a judge or engaging in lengthy court proceedings. When couples choose to utilize this process, they can negotiate all the terms of their divorce and tailor a resolution that meets their individualized needs. With the help of their attorneys and the team of collaborative professionals they assemble, a couple can work together to determine property division, alimony, debt allocation, child custody, and child support — and reach a settlement that they both find acceptable.

How Does the Collaborative Divorce Process Work?

There are several steps in the collaborative divorce process and a number of meetings will be held throughout the process. Typically, the parties will meet with each other, their collaborative attorneys, and members of the collaborative team to identify issues in the case and discuss how they can be resolved. Importantly, spouses will be given the tools they need to communicate and understand each other’s viewpoints. The objective of collaborative divorce is to find a win-win solution that works for both parties.

Here is a basic outline of the steps in the collaborative divorce process:

1. Ensure both parties are willing to participate — The collaborative divorce process must start with a conversation between the spouses to ensure they are both willing to participate. If either party does not wish to take part in the process, it will not work.
2. Retain a collaborative attorney for each spouse — Each spouse will need to retain their own attorney for the collaborative divorce process. The parties and their attorneys will sign a collaborative participation agreement. Once the collaborative participation agreement is signed, if the parties cannot reach an agreement in the collaborative process, the attorneys will be required to withdraw from the case, and the spouses must find new counsel for litigation.
3. Assemble the collaborative divorce team — The collaborative divorce process involves a team of professionals that is assembled based on the issues that must be resolved in a case. It can include a financial professional, a divorce coach, a mental health professional, a child specialist, and other neutral professionals who can help the spouses find satisfactory solutions.
4. Exchange information — Both parties must make full disclosure and openly exchange all relevant information with each other, including information about their assets, debts, and income, in order to reach a settlement. Collaborative is designed to be a transparent and confidential out-of-court process.
5. Draft a settlement — After the parties have negotiated a settlement, the terms will need to be compiled into a formal Collaborative Separation and Property Settlement Agreement. This document must be signed by both parties and submitted to the court.
6. The divorce judgment is issued — Once the Collaborative Separation and Property Settlement Agreement has been submitted to the court, it will be reviewed by a judge who will determine whether it is fair. The judge will then sign the document, and it will become a binding order. Both parties are required to abide by the terms of the judgment.

At every stage of collaborative divorce, spouses must be transparent and agree to communicate respectfully. The spouses must also agree not to resort to litigation at any time during the process. Significantly, the collaborative process can allow for more creative and cost-effective outcomes than litigation. It can also reduce conflict and promote communication — which is essential for an effective co-parenting relationship in the future.

What are the Advantages of the Collaborative Divorce Process?

Curious about alternatives to traditional divorce? In Part I of our series, we break down the collaborative divorce process—what it is, how it works, and its benefits. Learn how this method offers a more amicable, cost-effective approach to ending your marriage. Discover if it’s right for you!

There are many advantages to using the collaborative divorce process. In addition to avoiding a contentious battle in the courtroom, collaboration allows spouses to remain in control of the outcome of their case. Rather than let a judge decide the issues, parties can structure their settlement in a way that works best for them and their family.

In addition, the collaborative divorce process can help to minimize the impact of divorce on children. With a focus on problem-solving, the process allows parents to prioritize the needs of their children by addressing potential issues early on and keeping family matters private. When parents work together with trained child specialists and other professionals, they can develop healthy co-parenting strategies that will model conflict resolution for their children.

Collaborative divorce helps to preserve relationships and places an emphasis on what will happen in the future, rather than the events of the past. Unlike traditional litigation, the collaborative divorce process allows couples to find creative solutions that will work for their unique situation. Often, a resolution can be reached faster than by litigating in the courtroom because the focus is on compromise rather than conflict.

Learn More About the Collaborative Divorce Process

The collaborative divorce process can offer many advantages, including efficiency, privacy, and cost-effectiveness. If you would like to learn more about collaborative divorce, an experienced divorce attorney can explain the process and discuss whether it is right for your case. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are committed to helping clients find tailored solutions for their specific situations.

Contact Us for a Consultation

Trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies, at the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we will help you reach an amicable resolution to your divorce matter. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

There is more than one way to end a marriage in Maryland. While couples who wish to end their marriage will need to obtain an official judgment of divorce, it doesn’t mean all couples need to follow the same path to get there. In fact, some divorces can be resolved without ever stepping foot inside a courtroom. It’s important to understand the difference between collaborative divorce vs traditional divorce processes to help ensure you are best able to protect your interests and meet the needs of your family. 

How Does Collaborative Divorce Work?

Collaborative divorce is a form of alternative dispute resolution that some couples choose to use instead of traditional divorce litigation. Collaborative Law can also be applied to child custody and parenting time cases. In either situation, the collaborative practice model is meant to give you and your spouse more control over the pace and process of dissolving your marriage. 

When you opt to use the collaborative process, you will be working with a team of specially trained professionals who will assist you with resolving the financial, practical, and emotional issues that must be resolved before you can end your marriage. As a holistic model, collaborative divorce serves to remove much of the contention that typically occurs in a traditional divorce. It puts the focus on preparing you and your family for the next chapter — rather than dwelling on the faults and failures that brought your marriage to an end. 

What is the Collaborative Divorce Process?

A collaborative divorce starts with a commitment by both parties. You and your spouse will be required to sign an agreement that you will work to resolve any disputes through negotiation and problem solving within the collaborative process and out-of-court. Although the process is non-adversarial, you and your spouse must hire your own collaborative divorce attorneys to represent and advise you throughout the process. 

As part of the collaborative agreement, the collaborative divorce lawyers promise that if you or your spouse files a motion or other document in the Maryland family court (other than a joint motion to adopt the final settlement agreement and enter a Judgment of Absolute Divorce), they will both withdraw from the case. In this event, you and your spouse would need to hire new lawyers to represent you during the traditional divorce litigation process. 

Even though you and your spouse are represented by your own attorneys in the collaborative process, most of the work is done between yourselves with the help of the collaborative team they have assembled. A collaborative divorce team can include the following: 

Collaborative divorce vs. traditional divorce procedures depend on the specific needs in each case, and how well the tools available in each process can address them. At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Maryland divorce lawyers can help you select the best process, and we stand by you throughout that process.

• Collaborative divorce lawyers — During the collaborative divorce process, attorneys do not take on the adversarial role that they would in litigation. Rather, they educate the spouses about their legal rights, identify the issues that must be resolved, help to work through settlement negotiations, and draft an agreement when it is reached.
• Divorce coach — A divorce coach assists with facilitating the collaborative process and keeps everyone on track.
• Therapist — A therapist can help you and your spouse process the emotions that arise during the course of the collaborative divorce process. 
• Accountants and financial planners — Financial specialists such as accountants and financial planners can advise regarding the potential tax implications in your divorce and how proposed solutions satisfy your financial objectives.
• Appraisers and realtors — When you bring appraisers and realtors onto a collaborative divorce team, they can help place values on real property and business assets. They can also facilitate any sales that need to be made.
• Child specialists, parenting coaches, and co-parenting therapists —  When child custody is an issue, it may be helpful to bring in a child specialist, parenting coach, or co-parenting therapist.  These specialists can help you and your spouse develop the skills needed to effectively co-parent and resolve disputes related to the care of your children.
• Other professionals — Every divorce is different. You and your spouse may agree to include a variety of other professionals on your collaborative divorce team who will provide insight about your case and help you reach an amicable resolution.

All the professionals on a collaborative divorce team work with one goal in mind: to help you and your spouse create a settlement that will work for your family. As a result, collaborative divorce often teaches spouses about goal setting, healthy communication, and effective problem solving. Not only can collaborative divorce help you to resolve your divorce, but it provides you with the tools you need to resolve the conflicts that can arise from time to time once your divorce has been finalized. 

The beauty of the collaborative divorce process is that it is flexible enough to adapt to your specific needs. It allows you and your spouse to set the pace and to focus on the issues that matter most to your family. It also allows for more creative solutions, while ensuring you are in control of the process and the results that are reached. 

What to Expect in a Maryland Traditional Divorce Litigation

In contrast with collaborative divorce, traditional divorce litigation in Maryland is a relatively rigid process. It follows a number of procedural rules and moves a case along in accordance with the court’s timeline. If you and your spouse cannot agree on the issues that must be decided, divorce litigation can be lengthy and costly.  

When considering whether you should file a traditional Complaint for Divorce in court or pursue the collaborative process, it’s important to know the basics about what you can expect in litigation. The following outlines what you should expect during the course of a litigated divorce: 

• Your case is filed in Maryland Family Court
• Motions are heard by a family court judge
• Information is exchanged and questions are asked during a process called discovery
• Periodic status hearings are scheduled to ensure the case stays on track 
• Efforts are made during litigation to negotiate a settlement informally between the spouses’ attorneys or through court-ordered mediation
• If settlement efforts fail, a formal divorce trial will be required 
• The judge makes a final decision on all outstanding issues during trial
• An Absolute Judgment of Divorce is issued that dissolves your marriage, determines issues related to children and support, and divides your marital property

The traditional divorce litigation process is adjusted based on the needs of each case. For instance, not every case will require multiple pre-trial motions or extensive discovery. You may also independently or jointly hire experts to evaluate things like property values or child custody claims. But while a report may be written in connection with these matters, they are purely informational. Ultimately, it is the judge who is responsible for resolving disputes and entering a final judgment. 

The rigidity of litigation isn’t always a bad thing. The structure of a Maryland divorce can provide certain guardrails to prevent one spouse from delaying the process unnecessarily or taking advantage of the other. Additionally, divorce litigation can provide legitimacy to parties’ demands for information and give you the tools you need to develop and prove your case — especially if it is particularly contentious. 

Collaborative Divorce vs Traditional Divorce: A Comparative Analysis

There is no clear answer as to whether collaborative divorce vs traditional divorce litigation is a “better” way to end a marriage. Each divorce process has benefits and drawbacks that should be carefully considered. A thoughtful comparative analysis of how each process aligns with your objectives and the needs of your family will determine whether the collaborative or traditional process is best suited for your case. 

Here are some things to consider when deciding which divorce method is best for your situation: 

Reducing Conflict Between Spouses

A high-conflict divorce can cause a significant amount of emotional harm — especially when children are involved in the process. Critically, traditional divorce litigation is adversarial and pits one spouse against the other. In some cases, litigation can actually escalate the conflict in a divorce, making it even harder to resolve the case out of court. 

One of the primary goals of the collaborative process is to reduce the contention in divorce. It focuses on helping you and your spouse develop problem solving skills that empower you to find your own solutions to the issues that arise, rather than relying on the courts to tell you what is best for your family. If minimizing conflict is a priority, collaborative divorce may be the better strategy. 

Resolving Complicated Legal Issues

The world is changing faster than the law can keep up with it. Every day, Maryland family court judges are asked to make rulings on new issues that have not been previously determined. This can include rendering decisions on complex matters such as the division of cryptocurrency assets to custody issues surrounding surrogacy and artificial insemination. 

When a case depends on a new interpretation of the law, it can create a challenging debate between collaborative divorce and traditional divorce litigation. On the one hand, collaborative divorce allows you and your spouse to reach an agreement on novel resolutions outside what the courts would usually decide. On the other hand, traditional litigation may be necessary to receive an order that professionals, and even other court systems, will respect in the future. It is essential to thoroughly discuss the legal issues in your case with an attorney before selecting a divorce process. The outcome may affect your rights — and in some cases, it may set a precedent for other families seeking divorce in the future. 

Uncovering the Truth Regarding Hidden Assets

Unfortunately, secrecy is often one of the symptoms of an unhealthy marriage. Lies, cheating, and hidden assets are sometimes the signs that show spouses it is time to separate and pursue divorce. However, when that secrecy involves your property, it can create a problem affecting the divorce process itself. Collaborative divorce largely depends on transparency and honest communication. The spouses must agree to freely exchange financial and personal information, and to make that information available to the professionals who advise them. If a spouse has a history of hiding assets, this can adversely impact the collaborative law process and make it very difficult to reach a resolution. 

When a spouse is concealing assets, traditional divorce litigation can offer a more efficient solution. Under Maryland law, a spouse can issue subpoenas to obtain the necessary information concerning a spouse’s finances directly from the banks, financial advisors, and other institutions. The law also provides penalties for spouses who conceal assets and refuse to comply with mandatory discovery. These tools can be crucial to expose the secrets that may have led to the divorce in the first place and help ensure a fair and equitable result. 

Troubleshooting Issues

You know the intricacies of what it takes to get your family through each day. Often, this requires a careful, detail-oriented approach to divorce that the Maryland divorce courts don’t have time on their docket to fully address. As a result, spouses who use traditional divorce litigation often find that both are dissatisfied with the details of the Absolute Judgment of Divorce — particularly when it comes to parenting plans. For example, you and your spouse may find yourselves ordered to comply with a parenting exchange schedule that is unrealistic in light of distance, traffic, work, and school schedules. Or, you may be ordered to pay an amount to resolve a property division matter that there simply isn’t financing for. 

It is critical to be aware that collaborative divorce offers a higher degree of flexibility and control that can result in a resolution that works for you and your family. Because you and your spouse must come up with the terms of your own settlement agreement, you can account for their children’s special needs or an unusual work schedule more easily than the courts can. It is often more beneficial for you and your spouse to fully negotiate a settlement agreement, rather than allow a judge who does not know you to decide a court-ordered parenting plan or property distribution matter.   

Protecting a Vulnerable Spouse

It is vital to acknowledge that negotiations only work in divorce if both parties have approximately the same bargaining power. In some families, this might not be the case. Where one spouse is in a vulnerable position because of a history of abuse, narcissism, or dependence on the other party, lengthy negotiations can sometimes perpetuate an unhealthy dynamic and make it harder to move on. That is why collaborative divorce is not well suited to cases involving domestic violence or an unequal power dynamic. 

However, the Maryland divorce courts address such tough issues every day. Maryland family court judges have tools available, such as protective orders, that can shield spouses and children from ongoing abuse. A judge also has the ability to account for a spouse’s fault or history of bad behavior when issuing a judgment. 

Providing an Emotional Resolution 

Divorce can be emotionally overwhelming, no matter what process is used. However, the emotional outcome is usually very different when it comes to collaborative divorce vs traditional divorce. This is because collaborative divorce accounts for the parties’ emotional resolution as part of what it takes to make a divorce successful. By using the collaborative process, you can work with therapists and coaches who help you work through your feelings. This way, by the time the final settlement is reached, you and your spouse will likely have processed your anger, shame, and grief — and you can truly be ready to move forward with a new chapter of your life.

In contrast, the adversarial nature of traditional divorce litigation can sometimes cause parties to become angrier and more hostile as the case progresses. Without a mechanism to protect your mental and emotional health, traditional divorce litigation can result in anger, resentment, and blame festering, or even escalating, over time. Those who choose the traditional litigation approach are encouraged to seek their own emotional support and resolution outside the courtroom. Still, unless you and your spouse make a commitment to do so, you may find an Absolute Judgment of Divorce does little to address your emotional needs. 

Future-Proofing Your Settlement Agreement

Spouses who depend on the traditional divorce process to resolve their custody, support, and property disputes might see filing motions in court as the only way to resolve any conflict. When the parties to a divorce are dependent on the court system, they can also file dozens of post-judgment motions to enforce or modify their custody, parenting time, child support and alimony orders. This can make a divorce judgment feel anything but absolute. 

Under the collaborative practice model, you and your spouse are taught how to troubleshoot the issues that can arise during the divorce process — and after. You are encouraged to proactively consider how you will address issues like one parent moving away, or what will happen if you can’t sell the marital home for as much as you had expected. By empowering the spouses (rather than the courts) to be the final decision makers, a collaborative divorce can avoid ongoing disputes and future-proof your settlement to make sure it is truly final.

Get Help Choosing Between Collaborative Divorce and Traditional Divorce

Choosing between collaborative divorce vs traditional divorce procedures can depend on the specific needs in each case, and how well the tools available in each process can address them. There is no one better divorce process — only the one that is best equipped to resolve the case at hand. 

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Fulton, Maryland divorce lawyers are trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and traditional divorce litigation strategies. We are committed to helping you select the best process for your divorce and will walk with you every step of the way. To schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Maple Lawn divorce attorney, call us at (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us online.

It is often said that within a divorce there are three unique separations that must each be addressed: (1) legal separation, (2) emotional separation, and (3) financial separation. The Collaborative Divorce model, sometimes called Collaborative Law or Collaborative Practice, offers a holistic approach to the legal side of conscious uncoupling. By making space for people’s needs and emotions within the divorce process, collaborative divorce can reduce conflict between parents, and make it easier for them to co-parent even as they take steps to start their next chapter.

What is Conscious Uncoupling?

The idea of “conscious uncoupling” has been around for more than a decade. It was first developed by psychologist Katerine Woodward Thomas in 2010 and popularized by Gweneth Paltrow in her divorce from Chris Martin in 2014. It is a therapeutic process that can help divorcing couples separate from one another while causing the least emotional damage possible. In its current form, conscious uncoupling isn’t limited to just divorce. It can also be used by co-parents and partners ending an unmarried relationship, or by anyone who is struggling with a breakup. Spouses who “consciously uncouple” intentionally focus on bringing a respectful end to their relationship, working hard to reduce conflict and to focus on healthy co-parenting.

The public perception of conscious uncoupling may be connected to ideas of spiritualism and celebrity. However, the psychological theories behind the process are useful for parents in every walk of life. Conscious uncoupling allows parents and divorcing spouses to do the work of emotionally separating from their partners before stepping into the courthouse or sitting down at the negotiating table. That way, when it comes time for the legal process to begin, they can focus on their practical and financial needs, as well as what is best for themselves and their children, without emotion interfering.

There are five stages to conscious uncoupling:

Similar to conscious uncoupling, Collaborative Divorce is a holistic approach designed to address not only emotional separation, but also legal and financial separation.

1. Releasing negative emotions and channeling them into positive activities
2. Redefining yourself as an individual, without the context of your partner
3. Acknowledging and breaking negative behavior patterns that cause unhealthy relationships
4. Taking responsibility for your own life and improving your circumstances
5. Defining what your ideal life will be after the divorce is finalized

Therapists, counselors, and psychologists can all assist patients or clients to work through these five stages, bringing emotional closure to the relationship, and defining the next chapter. However, they do not usually play a direct role in the parties’ legal and financial separation. For that, couples seeking to consciously uncouple can turn to Collaborative Divorce.

How Collaborative Divorce Helps with Conscious Uncoupling

Collaborative divorce is a constructive, team-based alternative to traditional divorce built upon mutual respect and three main principles:

1. A commitment to reaching agreements privately, outside of court
2. Open and transparent exchange of information by both spouses
3. Child-focused solutions based upon individual goals and interests

The Collaborative Practice begins by discussing your needs with a collaboratively trained family law attorney, who will work with you to assemble a collaborative team, which may include:

• Mental health professionals, who will act as divorce coaches and individual therapists to assist you in addressing emotional aspects of separation;
• Child specialists, with a background in psychology or social work, who will focus specifically on co-parenting and the needs of your child;
• Neutral financial advisors, who are accountants and often trained mediators, that have specific skills required to help restructure family finances.

Similar to conscious uncoupling, Collaborative Divorce is a holistic approach designed to address not only emotional separation, but also legal and financial separation. In both cases, the goal is to bring closure to relationships in a way that is as supportive, considerate, and as private as possible.

Collaborative law gives couples the time and space to investigate options, define their futures, and come to an agreement about their futures as single, co-parenting adults. When emotions run high – and they do – the parties can ask for a break and address those emotions with the divorce coach on the spot, or with their own therapists in between negotiation sessions. In fact, one of the benefits of the Collaborative Process is that it is not tied to the court’s schedule. You can resolve things quickly, or take your time to process. You can also receive training from the professionals involved in conflict resolution, co-parenting techniques, and communication strategies that will make it easier to resolve disputes that arise after the judgment is entered, and avoid heading back to court for post-judgment custody matters.

Consciously Uncouple with the Help of a Howard County Collaborative Divorce Attorney

Our founder, Shelly Ingram, is a certified Maryland Collaborative divorce attorney. She knows how to listen to your needs and can customize the Collaborative Process to help you meet them. She will help you identify your financial and legal goals, and build a team of collaborative law professionals who will guide you through the process of conscious uncoupling. Call (240) 652-2596">(240) 652-2596 or contact us today to schedule a consultation with an attorney.

Some families are not well-suited to the conflict and high tension of an adversarial divorce trial. If divorce court sounds expensive, time consuming, and unhealthy, you may want to consider out of court alternatives. Which one is best for you will depend on the issues in your case, and how well you and your spouse get along, among other things. You should carefully consider alternative dispute resolution (ADR) options with your divorce lawyer before gearing up for trial.

Can You Get a Divorce Without Going to Court in Maryland?

The short answer to whether you can get a divorce without going to Court in Maryland is no. Only a judge can dissolve your marriage by signing a Judgment of Absolute Divorce. That will require a court hearing in front of a judge.

If divorce court sounds expensive, time consuming, and unhealthy, you may want to consider out of court alternatives.

But going to court and going to trial are two very different things. Using an alternative to divorce court, you may be able to resolve your marital issues out of court, before filing your Complaint. Maryland offers a Mutual Consent Divorce option for couples who can come to an agreement on their own. While at least one spouse still needs to appear in court, the single hearing in a Mutual Consent Divorce is short – often taking just five minutes – and often occurs within 45 days after the Complaint and Settlement Agreement are filed. That is far quicker and more convenient than traditional divorce litigation.

Why You Might Want a Divorce Without Court Involvement

No one knows your case like you do. Maryland judges hear thousands of divorces each year. They will never be able to consider every detail in every case. Their decisions often leave both spouses unhappy. You might want a divorce without court involvement to:

• Keep control over the outcome of your case
• Protect high-priority assets
• Shield your privacy from public court records
• Resolve matters more quickly
• Avoid me-versus-them mentality to improve future coparenting
• Protect your interests from perceived biases within the court system

Alternatives to Divorce Court

Each ADR process has its pros and cons. However, they are all options to help parties reach agreements and obtain an out of court divorce.

Negotiation

The least formal alternative to divorce court is negotiation. For some families, this happens entirely without lawyers at the kitchen table. For others, attorneys for each party can facilitate discussions in real time, or through the exchange of written settlement offers. Once all the issues are resolved, you can use the resulting Separation Agreement (also called a marital settlement agreement) to get a Judgment of Absolute Divorce.

The pros of negotiation are that it is relatively inexpensive and puts you and your partner in total control. Negotiation can also be done at any stage – even days before a divorce trial. Negotiation works best in families with limited resources, or where both parties are strong communicators with relatively equal bargaining power.

The main con for negotiation is the lack of structure. With no time constraints or other guidelines, negotiation can last indefinitely and may never result in agreement. When negotiation fails, the breakdown in communication can also harm future efforts to coparent or interact civilly.

Mediation

Mediation offers a neutral third-party to help parties communicate and stay on track. Mediation is a voluntary process where both parties work with a neutral facilitator to address concerns and resolve issues. Just like negotiation, mediation often happens while divorce litigation is pending. However, if you want an out-of-court divorce, you and your spouse may choose to meet with a mediator before filing your Complaint. Then, you can use the resulting mediation agreement to get divorced.

The pros of mediation include the same control over the outcome and reduced costs as negotiation. Mediation also provides more structure, including time limits, to help guide both parties toward resolution. Mediation works best when both parties are willing to compromise, and motivated to reach an agreement.

The cons to mediation often come from problems within a couple’s communication dynamics. Mediation may fail if one party has more bargaining power (such as in domestic violence cases) or if both parties don’t have access to financial records or account balances.

Arbitration

Arbitration looks like informal divorce litigation in front of a privately hired judge. The arbitrator may help the parties negotiate a resolution. However, if the parties fail to negotiate a resolution, the arbitrator has the authority to make a binding final decision based on the testimony of the parties and the evidence before them.

The biggest pro of arbitration is that it has a definite end. At the end of arbitration you will have a divorce resolution. Arbitration also doesn’t follow the same rules of evidence as a Maryland divorce court, so you can give the arbitrator more information about your family’s situation without worrying about issues like hearsay. Arbitration can work well in high-conflict cases where the need for a final decision is stronger than the need for ongoing collaboration. It is also often faster to get a hearing in front of an arbitrator than a trial in front of a judge.

However, there are many cons to arbitration. It can be expensive to hire an arbitrator. Also, when parties sign an arbitration agreement, they often waive their right to appeal the decision if the arbitrator applies the law incorrectly. Arbitration is fairly uncommon in Maryland family law cases.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce pairs parents and spouses with skilled coaches, therapists, and professionals to help them deal with the emotional challenges and financial changes that come with divorce. The process looks a lot like negotiation – with the parties and their attorneys meeting to work out divorce issues. However, the work between those meetings is designed to help the parties learn problem solving techniques and communication styles that will make them better co-parents in the future.

The pros of collaborative divorce come from its transparent, proactive, and respectful approach to family disputes. It isn’t just about resolving today’s issues, but learning a system for addressing conflicts that arise in the future. Collaborative treats the parties with dignity and helps both parents understand one another’s perspectives. Collaborative divorce is often seen as a more holistic alternative to divorce court.

The biggest cons to collaborative divorce is cost and scheduling. Collaborative is more expensive than negotiation or mediation, and frequently there can be delays due to the demands of collective scheduling. However, if you factor in the cost of expert witnesses and protracted litigation, Collaborative is often still cheaper than going to trial. In addition, the tools learned in the collaborative process reduce the risk of parties returning to court for post-judgment issues, so it may end up being considerably less expensive than traditional litigation long-term.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, we understand that no one ADR tool is right for every family. If your goal is to keep your divorce out of court, we will meet with you and help you identify the ADR process that is right for you. If you have a legal need and would like to speak with an attorney, please call us at (240) 652-2596 or contact us through our website to schedule a consultation. We look forward to working with you.

You may have heard of a thing called collaborative divorce that’s designed to take the conflict out of ending your marriage. But is a collaborative divorce the best option for your family law case? Or could you be better served by formal litigation or mediation?

What is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative divorce is an alternative to the traditional adversarial family law process. It is designed to give you and your family tools to resolve your marriage as peacefully as possible. Collaborative focuses on teaching both spouses dispute resolution and communication strategies so that they can resolve problems and keep their case out of court now, and in the future should complications arise.

Unlike in a traditional divorce litigation, spouses in collaborative divorce aren’t working against each other to get their way in the Maryland divorce court. Instead, spouses work together with a collaborative divorce team to identify priorities and solutions to dissolve their marriage.

The Collaborative Process in Maryland

Like all legal cases, a collaborative divorce typically starts by meeting with a lawyer. Unlike a traditional adversarial approach, in the collaborative process both you and your spouse will frequently meet with your lawyers together. For the collaborative process to work, both spouses need to be committed to doing the work needed to avoid formal divorce proceedings and keep things out of court. If either spouse insists on their “day in court”, or if there are unhealthy power dynamics between the parties (like in cases of domestic violence), the collaborative process will not work.

Choosing a Collaborative Divorce Lawyer

It is best to work with an experienced collaborative lawyer than can appropriately screen your case from the onset so that you don’t run the risk of starting over with new counsel if collaboration is unsuccessful.

Next, each spouse must hire his or her own attorney. Your collaborative lawyer will guide you through the process and advocate on your behalf at the negotiation table. It is important that the person you hire is a certified collaborative divorce attorney, well versed in a variety of alternative dispute processes and collaboratively trained. It is best to work with an experienced collaborative lawyer than can appropriately screen your case from the onset so that you don’t run the risk of starting over with new counsel if collaboration is unsuccessful. If collaboration fails, you will need to hire a different lawyer to take your divorce litigation case to court.

Identifying Issues and Priorities

Once the lawyers are on board, your lawyer will work with you to identify your top priorities and concerns, and together the collaborative team will lay out any issues that need to be resolved before a final settlement can be reached. Your collaborative divorce attorney will help you consider options and strategies, and distinguish between your priorities and your preferences.

Assembling a Collaborative Divorce Team

Unlike traditional litigation, collaborative divorce is a team effort. There may be experts and advisors that the couple agrees will help smooth the way to resolution, and others that one spouse or the other needs to work with individually before the case can resolve. Depending on the circumstances and issues in your family law case, your collaborative divorce team may include:

• divorce coaches
• Therapists or psychologists
• Child specialists
• Accountants
• Financial Planners
• Real estate agents or appraisers

This team will help you consider how potential divorce solutions will work moving forward and anticipate problems that might bring you back to the negotiating table. The goal of the collaborative divorce team is to create a settlement that works emotionally, legally, and practically for you (your spouse) and your children.

Collaborative Meetings

The first collaborative meeting with both spouses and their attorneys will usually happen before the team is fully assembled (though it may be facilitated by the divorce coach). Each collaborative meeting will have the goal of identifying and resolving outstanding issues in your divorce. These meetings may often become emotional. However, the costs of walking out of the collaborative process and customizations that the process can provide motivation to keep you coming back to the collaborative table.

When Collaborative Divorce Fails

Collaborative is a “transparent process”. If either spouse gives up on the process, the collaborative divorce fails and the parties go back to square one. They must get new lawyers and start a new divorce litigation proceeding. Your collaborative counsel would be prejudiced by what they learned in the collaborative process and that is why they would not be able to represent you in court if litigation is required. Whatever was said during collaborative meetings can’t be used at court. The parties will have to prove their case without those admissions or the work of their collaborative professionals.

How a Successful Collaborative Divorce Ends

Ultimately, only a judge can dissolve a legal marriage. When you and your spouse successfully resolve all issues, including custody, child support, and division of the family’s property, your lawyers will put together a Marital Settlement Agreement, and all other paperwork for the court to enter your divorce.

Collaborative Divorce vs Mediation

Collaborative divorce can cost more up front than filing a traditional divorce complaint -- though many families find themselves saving money over time by avoiding enforcement proceedings in the future.

The collaborative process isn’t right for every couple. Personality differences, power dynamics, and limited resources may all point in another direction. Collaborative divorce can cost more up front than filing a traditional divorce complaint -- though many families find themselves saving money over time by avoiding enforcement proceedings in the future.

Even where collaborative divorce isn’t an option, you may be able to resolve your differences without an emotional and expensive trial through the use of mediation. Mediation puts the parties together at the table -- with or without lawyers. With the help of a skilled facilitator, the parties work through all issues and try to reach a final settlement.

Both mediation and collaborative divorce are alternative dispute resolution methods that keep the parties out of court. Collaborative divorce may take longer than mediation, which is often just one or two sessions. While your lawyer may prepare you for mediation, if your lawyer does not attend mediation with you - you are somewhat on your own in mediation. It isn’t a mediator’s job to help you identify priorities or anticipate future problems. Instead, the mediator is focused on the dispute of the moment and works to help reach an agreement - although the agreement may not always be your most favorable outcome.

A mediator’s role may be more narrow than a collaborative divorce lawyer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is worse. Some parties don’t need the full collaborative process. They may have already resolved many of their issues or addressed their emotional concerns. In those cases, a mediation can save time and money while still letting the parties avoid the public exposure of divorce litigation.

Choose Collaborative Divorce or Mediation

Choosing the right process for your divorce isn’t always easy. Before you commit to the collaborative divorce process, speak to a Maryland divorce lawyer to weigh the pros and cons of each process, including traditional litigation, mediation, and collaborative divorce. Then you can choose the process that is right for you, your needs, and your budget.

At the Law Office of Shelly M. Ingram, our Maryland divorce lawyers are trained in collaborative divorce, mediation, and litigation strategies. We can help you decide which process is best for your family, and then stand by your side throughout that process. To talk to a collaborative divorce attorney or schedule a mediation, contact us today to schedule a confidential office consultation.